to be narked by in laws already when they only moved in yesterday?

[TheChicOfIt]

They are living with us until their new apartment is ready, which is looking like April.

Lovely people, and very harmless, but very irritating sometimes.

So yesterday I have had:

Large, mismatched ugly jars of tea, coffee, sugar and biscuits taking up residence on my already cramped worktop.

Constant talking and questions all the way through all television programmes.

FIL coming into our bedroom (whilst I was lying in bed in my skimpy PJs watching a lady have her fanjo examined on Embarassing Bodies), to say goodnight and have a full blown conversation.

and

Floorboards creaking in the middle of the night as they were walking about (I assume going to the toilet).

I know IABU because it is not their fault and like I say they are harmless, but just get a bit wound up with these little niggles and this is the first day!

MNers help me get through it please !!

I have never lived with MIL but she has stayed for two weeks a few times. The first few days were pretty much as you describe after theat it setteles down, people feel more at home and they just run out of things to talk about!

YANBU - I had my mum live with me for 7 months, I get on with her really really well, but my god she irritated the shit out of me while living with us!

And there is no way on this earth would I share my house with my PIL! I would commit murder within the first day!

But then I'm quite an unreasonable person!

You are being unreasonable but I would be feeling exactly the same! I hate other people in my space

YABU (but it's v understandable that you'd be annoyed - houseguests can be a bit of a trial sometimes even when they're not doing anything too bad). However, YANBU re FIL coming into your bedroom. I'd have a quiet word and tell him that it's off limits (what if you were getting changed/nekkid?)

YANBU - really not. I would HAVE to draw the line at FIL walking unannounced into the bedroom - some rooms HAVE to be kept private and must be out of bounds.

Would it be possible to clear a space for MIL's jars, give her an area to keep stuff so she doesn't feel too displaced, and you know where your stuff is?

As other's have said, I'm sure it will settle, but so early on it might be a good idea to set a few ground rules so you all know where you are, like who is cooking and cleaning etc. Sort it now before you get too wound up!

They are going to drive you nuts

YABU - they brought a BISCUIT TIN with them
Anybody who enters my house with biscuits can do what the hell they like
Although if they just brought the tin with no biscuits in it, YADNBU

Think you are right BoF!

It was the entering the bedroom thing that got me.

Who does that???

I know he was trying to be nice but does he not think that I could have been getting changed, or even worse, partaking in carnal activity with his son ??

I have told MIL that she can finish her tea/coffee/biscuits and then the jars can go in the garage.

Because these are no ordinary jars people.

They are old Nescafe jars with the labels washed off. I mean what if I had a friend round and she thought they were mine?!

YABU..... MIL comes into my en-suite when I'm on the shower. Boundaries.

No, no NO .

Now FIL is interfering with the stair gates and saying that they are loose and they need tightened up.

They are meant to be like that - that is how they open and close without ripping off the wall!

Sorry I know IABU but I have to do this..

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

And at not4anotherday's MIL!

I can't believe that FIL thought it was acceptable to go into your bedroom.

You poor poor woman.

He is only trying to help and he wouldn't know they are meant to be like that.

I think YABU to get rid of MIL's coffee jars - give & take, compromise & all that. She's just trying to feel at home. I would hate it if my stuff were consigned to the garage.

However, I think you are being a SAINT to take them in. Deserve a medal. Things will settle down, but it does sound as if you or DH need to (gently) state the boundaries.

Can you find something for FIL to do so he feels useful? The jobs that DH is always too lazy busy to do. You know, painting skirting boards, putting up shelves & all that sort of thing.

I can't help, but after packing my MIL off after a 3 week stay and she drove me MENTAL!

Let it all out on here rather than simmer on your own. Thankfully I was able to rant to my mum who listened to all my woes and made me laugh about it.

Good luck, and here's to April coming quickly!

blimey i think you should get a gold medal ! i couldnt have my pil for a day never mind until april. its telly with them on all the time from jeremy vile to cash in the attic to the one with noel edmonds in (cant remember what its called ) noone is allowed to talk and while they are watching all these programmes they are constantly recording programmes "on the other side for later" although they do have digital they still only think they have 3 channels" as for our 3 dc's they darent breathe never mind talk the telly gets turned up even further than it is already with a pointed look at offending child for daring to talk when midsomer murders are on! sorry rant over you can tell where i called in last night after picking kids up from school!!!

You are either a saint or completely mad

Would your DH have a word with your FIL about on no account should he come to your bedroom, unless it's dire emergency, and then he has to knock loudly and wait till you come to the door?

I don't mean to be mean about her jars going in the garage - but there is just no need for them to be there. We have plenty of tea and coffee to go round. She didn't seem to mind anyway when I mentioned as she knows I am short of space.

I suppose it's just that I am quite a private person and like to keep myself to myself, whereas they are quite interfering keen to try and help.

Bless them, it must be really difficult for them, but I can't help the niggles !

Good idea about finding jobs for them to do! (though don't want to take the piss)

LOL at 'these are no ordinary jars people'.

Have you got a cat? If so smash said jars and blame it on the cat.

JOKE everyone.

Yes FIL needs to not just walk in your room.

Poor you, I love my PIL's dearly but I couldn't live with them.

If your PIL is like my father, he will be looking for jobs to be useful whilst staying.

In someways it´s nice that your FIL feels comfortable enough to say goodnight & have a gossip.
But obviously I can also see how that is intrusive.

Agree with diddl, your FIL sounds lovely and is probably just trying to make himself useful in return for you putting them up.

However, I think you do need to set some ground rules, i.e. your bedroom is off limits!

Coffee jars with labels washed off - you could invite your friends round to see your new retro chic style kitchen