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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not do party bags - really cannot be arsed!

51 replies

BigMomma3 · 11/02/2010 14:38

DTs party this weekend. They will be 8 so invitees aged between 7/8 and there will be at least 20 of them (6 other ignorant twunts have not replied).

I have been frantically looking for ideas for party bags cos I think that age group is too old for plastic tat and I get throughly pissed off with it being spread throughout the house so imagine other parents do too.

I also don't really want to spend another 50 quid on them after party costs as well (washing machine completely died yesterday, will cost too much to repair so will have to get another one on the weekend so that's an unexpected 250 quid expense as well grrr). I looked round today for some cheap bits but could'nt see anything original and can't be arsed to look again tomorrow.

AIBU to just give them a party bag with a balloon and a slice of cake or will I be forever vilified as a cheapskate (or be thought of as poor - don't know which is worse ).

OP posts:

PotPourri · 11/02/2010 15:25

If you are not doing bags, don't do bags at all - i.e. just give cake wrapped in napkin, not in a bag. Then you won't look tight. A bag means tat and sweets - not having those in draws attentino to them being missing iyswim.

StillCounting · 11/02/2010 15:27

other cheap stuff that not tat:

tiny novelty nail brush or tooth brush

sunflower seeds (to grow)

bag of corn (to pop) can divide up with instructions

small sachets of shampoo or bubble bath

novelty pencil or eraser

big jar of lolly pops to choose from as you go out the door

onebadbaby · 11/02/2010 15:28

When my little girl went to my friends sons party, my friend put in a packet of crayons which she had collected free from a restaurant (they had been used while in the restaurant as well) and a free colouring book which she had collected on a flight on their round the world trip, and a bottle of bubbles without a wand which was left over from last year. My daughter wasn't bothered, but I did resent her being such a cheapskate when we had made the effort to go to the party and taken her little boy a lovely present!

thrifty · 11/02/2010 15:39

onebadbaby - your daughter wasn't bothered, so why should you be. parties cost loads to do, if you end up spending £2-3 on a party bag for each child your looking at an extra £50-75 quid on top of the party costs. Hardly being a cheapskate when a party for 25 kids has probably already cost £100.

onebadbaby · 11/02/2010 15:58

I would understand if the person in question had a tight budget, but when you know that they have just spent lots of cash on a month long holiday, spent well over £100 on their own childs birthday present, and there were only 7 children invited to the party- then it looks like they like to spend on themselves and it is a bit insulting to the guests to be so cheap with the party bags!

Baileysismyfriend · 11/02/2010 16:07

I agree with PP if you are not going to do bags then just give the cake in a napkin, it raises expectations otherwise.

I actually quite like doing party bags and it doesnt have to be tat, Ive put in braclets/necklaces when they were half price at Tammy Girl so a £1 each. Or you could get a pack of bath bombs and stick one of those in each one, with some cake and other sweets, it doesnt have to cost lots to be good.

PrincessBoo · 11/02/2010 16:17

I love giving a good party for kids but £50 on party bags is ridiculous!

Cake and balloon is more than enough - if they expect more than that then it's tough really. They should be pleased and grateful to be invited to a party.

And serve it how you like - who cares if it 'raises expectations'?

If a 9 year old is having tantrums on the way home because there was only cake in the bag and not an extra toy you couldn't afford - then don't bloody invite them next time.

I'm also a bit stunned that some people are saying the quality of the party bag is expected to be high to counterbalance the cost of the birthday present.

FFS! Thank God my mates and their kids are all sane!

Original poster

BigMomma3 · 11/02/2010 16:20

OK - I know I have to do something really! I did think about a small Easter egg actually as I am very lazy but thought it was too early for that.

On second thoughts I am now thinking bugger it and will do that with a pack of seeds (thanks to the poster who planted that seed of an idea ) for them to grow something presented in a small plant pot instead of a party bag and tied with a green bow!! Haha on a roll now. Off to Wilkinsons I go tomorrow!!

Will that do dya think?

OP posts:

Morloth · 11/02/2010 16:20

Party bags suck, both the giving and receiving, I don't do them anymore. Never had a complaint and DS seems as popular as ever. No more CRAP.

PrincessBoo · 11/02/2010 16:20

Oh, and now I have finished ranting I think that stillcounting's suggestions were all fab.

What about getting them to make something at the party that they can then take home? Only if you can be arsed mind.

LoveBeingAMummy · 11/02/2010 16:22

Pippy thats what I am doing, am printing out the colouring in pages from cbeebies (made into a colouring book)and giving them a pack of crayons.

OP guess that's a bit young for your party.

PrincessBoo · 11/02/2010 16:23

Seeds and a pot is lovely. But only do it if its cheap, you have time and it's not going to stress you out.

fillybuster · 11/02/2010 16:25

Totally with you on the plastic tat. Have 3 solutions to suggest as I agree you need to have something:

Books/annuals : great time of year to buy v v v cheap annuals (and you won't look like a cheapskate in early feb). Places like BookWarehouse have them down to approx £1/each. This is my preferred solution for DD's birthday parties at end Jan.

Art kit/creative set : also suggested by someone else - there's some great 'colour in posters + stickers + pens' sets in Poundland-type shops. I also found some brilliant 'art kits' in the same cheap bookshop I got the annuals for dd's party bags.

Seeds + pots (although I've just noticed you're already there), although these can be a bit expensive and its a little early in the year.

Combine the above with a mini-milky way/maltesers/mars bar and/or a slice of birthday cake and you're done.

I haven't spent more than £1.00/child and have avoided all plastic tat since switching to these

Triggles · 11/02/2010 16:33

God, these birthday parties are quite different now from when our older ones were little.

DS will be starting school in September, and I can only say I'm thrilled that his birthday is in the summer and not during school term time. I'm hoping it means we can have just have a few good friends over for an easy birthday party, as there won't be any "invite the whole class" issues. Even so, if we do end up having a larger party, we plan on doing NO party bags, but I also would rather have no presents for DS either. I would like it to be about getting together with friends and have fun, have cake and ice cream, and that's it. He'll get presents from his family for his birthday, he doesn't need a bunch of presents from the other kids.

girlsyearapart · 11/02/2010 16:44

my sister has also had enough of party bags so this year she did;

ds age 8 water pistol with a little pack of sweets taped to it.#

dd1 age 4 bag of coloured popcorn with a lolly tied to it

dd2 age 2 nothing.

She got a few 'can I have my bag?'s from older dcs at dd2s party but shrugged it off.

REally like the lucky dip idea.

Sassybeast · 11/02/2010 16:52

I was going to say that at age 8, I really don't think party bags should be a big deal. but am now completely sold on the seeds idea and will steal it myself Also like the idea of a lucky dip!

5Foot5 · 11/02/2010 17:00

I like the Kinder surprise idea.

On a similar theme, when DD was about that age her "party" was a trip to the cinema with a load of mates to see the latest Disney film. The local supermarket had those vending machines where you put in a £1 and get a plastic capsule with a Disney themed toy in it. So they all got a capsule with a relevant toy for after the film.

Also, suitable for girls, one party she went to they all got a girlie comic instead of a party bag e.g. Girl Talk or whatever they are called now.

Another time I got those large tubes of Smarties (they were on a a special offer) and they all got one of those instead of a bag.

onebadbaby · 11/02/2010 17:03

I wasn't saying that I expected the cost of the party bag to counterbalance the present at all! Was just giving an example of a particular gripe with a friend of mine who always skimps when it comes to giving to others! I am all for cheap but imaginative ideas for party treats- a little thought over it worth more than the cost- little ones don't mind anyway... sometimes one nice item is better than a bag full of tat- my daughter was once given a my little pony which she loved, and we still have 2 years later- was the only thing in the bag!

Pixel · 11/02/2010 18:00

I gave up doing party bags years ago, just handed everyone a slice of cake in a napkin as they left with a cheery "thanks for coming".
Never had a single comment (well not to my face), the children really didn't seem to notice.

stealthsquiggle · 13/02/2010 23:22

Interestingly DS (7) and DD (3) both went to (different) parties today.

DH picked up DS, I was with DD - she came home full of the joys of party bag. I assume DS didn't get one since I haven't seen anything - but the interesting thing is that whilst DD was showing him her loot he didn't even comment that he didn't have one and was just busy telling me how cool the party was.

My diagnosis (little does he know ) is that he has outgrown party bags.

scanty · 13/02/2010 23:44

hate party bags. Did then though for DS 5th party and forgot to hand them out and no-one seemed to notice. Have to look through them first as they were usualy full of tat and cheap n nasty sweets made in China so usually just went in the bin.

DandyLioness · 13/02/2010 23:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kreecherlivesupstairs · 14/02/2010 09:35

I refuse to do party bags. My dd is very embarassed by it, but, I think it encourages greed. One party my dd went to, the gift she got on leaving cost twice as much as the one she gave to spoilt over indulged the birthday girl. I loathe all the plastic tat she brings home from parties and generally bin it before we are even in the front door.

Ellokitty · 14/02/2010 20:01

I think I must be polar opposite to Kreecher. I like to do party bags at my DDs party, as I like to remind her that although its her party, she should be thinking about her guests too.

Therefore, she has to help choose and plan out what she is going to put in her party bags, and help to decide what each child would like to receive in their bags. For example, one year she gave away one book from a set, so the night before, we sat down and she choose who she thought would like to recieve each book, and then helped to wrap it.

I think party bags can be a really good way of helping to remind the birthday child that they have got to think of their guests too, and that its not all about them.

gybegirl · 14/02/2010 20:26

Last year DD3 gave all the children a bottle of bubbles.

This year we're playing a game (stolen from some lovely MNer) about fishing for stickers (you tape a washer onto packets of stickers, then each child will fish - using a bit of bamboo in this case with a magnet on the end - for their stickers). I've budgeted for three goes each. Stickers cost £6.

They will then be sent home with a bit of cake, the stickers they won and a bag of chocolate coins that they'll find at the end of a treasure hunt.

DD2 who will be 2. Guests can steal balloons if they wish. They'll also get a bit of cake, but that's it. (Think they're too young for the more difficult games)

Bizarrely, I have yet to go to a birthday party where DDs have been given party bags.

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