Been with dh nearly 11 years his Mum is divorced from his dad.
FiL lives in ireland in some back of beyond place with no electricity etc.etc. About as remote as you can get. He's shacked up with a woman with v unstable bi-polar disorder who's regularly sectioned. She's a v vulnerable individual.
In 11 years I've met him 3 times. Once at his own Dads 80th, once at our wedding where he sat for 2 hours with his head in his hands not speaking and once at midnight, he and his partner were stranded at manchester airport and needed somewhere to stay so they literally turned up on our doorstep at midnight. I suspect from the smell although I can't prove it they smoked in our house. dd was 12 weeks old at the time.
He didn't send congratulations cards for either dc, we get cards at xmas from his partner. he signs b'day cards for dh as from "stan" not dad. He's not phoned once and has prob sent 3 or 4 emails.
Proir to moving in with his partner he lived in a derelict barn. He dresses and looks like a tramp and has no money despite being a professional accountant. When dh was a child he and BiL had to share a room in a 4 bed house so he could have the other 2 rooms, one for his train set and one as a dark room. He NEVER speaks.
His behaviour would suggest he's a complete arse but I do wonder if he can't help it, to be so shockingly rude and anti-social. Dh had behavioural probs when younger but is all in all quite a cheerful soul. BiL is quite screwed up tbh.
I'm despairing really about what to do about him, he's so bloody odd and I think it's such a shame for my dcs. Dh continues to doggedly make an effort, cards pressies, cd with pics of dcs on etc.
What do you think?