AIBU wanting to strangle my MIL

[thefinerthingsinlife]

Tomorrow my dh, pil and myself are going to London for an important 'do' in my dh career. Mil then leaving early to go away with friends for the weekend, fil coming for a meal with us.

Mil rang last night to say fil wasnt coming for a meal with us after as he would be too tired (what she actually meant was she doesnt want fil spending money that she could spend, she goes on nurmerous hols, recently brought herself a newlap top, is always buying clothes for herself off the net, btw she doesnt work, never has, and fil works F/T).

Dh challenged her on it, and it ended with mil telling dh that we rub her nose in it that we have money, something we have NEVER EVER done! ( we dont have 'money' btw, we have a massive morgage, a toddler and a baby, so our wages quickly dissappear)

Dh is now v.upset and thinks his mum will carry on like this tomorrow and ruining the day.

Is it wrong that i want to tell her not to bother coming/strangle her

In which case your DH is colluding as much as his dad in inviting them in the first place. He must have known something was going to kick off, why invite trouble in?

because they are still his parents, it's a big event for him, also everyone else is bring their parents so it would be very strange if they didn't come

Then he needs to be the grown up, realise his parents failings, tries not to get caught up in them, and restrain his inner desires for nicer parents.

All a bit hard at 24 hours notice.

But really, you guys did know this was probably coming, try and come up with a strategy that allows your dh is love parents, want their approval, but just let go when he realises their inner drives are going walk all over his needs.

A big ask.

Practically for tomorrow? Let them both toddle off when they feel like it. Smile wryly as they go, then turn to each other and raise a glass of champagne to your dh's success.

Thank you everyone, cant promise i wont strangle mil but i will definately try to remember your wise words whilst doing it
will let you now how it goes x x x

I bet "everyone else" isn't bringing their parents. It sounds odd for a married man to have a work do that you trail mummy and daddy to.
I agree with others that MIL can only be horrid because FIL allows her to do so. He's an adult not a wee boy. I have no respect for passive men. Often they enjoy being dominated.
I wouldn't fight over FIL that's demeaning him more than he's already demeaning himself.

2rebecca it's not a work do as such its calling to the role, sort of like a solicitor graduation thing. All the people from his LPC are taking their parents, so i'm guessing its the 'done' thing

Sounds like dungeons and dragons. Calling to the role?
I suppose if he wants them there fair enough. They can play proud parents and then swan off and leave you in peace.

Hey all,

well....................mil managed to behave just, fil came for a meal in the end (he seemed to enjoy a bit of freedom ) and dh had a nice day

psyochmum5 i managed not to harm mil so no handy tips for you im afraid