to think DH should pay for his own clothes?

[GhoulsAreLoud]

Ok, here goes:

DH and I went on quite a strict budget a while ago and it works pretty well. As part of the budget we each have £100 each per month to spend on our own things, such as clothes, magazines, going out etc etc.

Recently I noticed that quite a few of his purchases have popped up on the joint account. He had a little moan recently because he wanted to join the gym and I said he had to pay the £38 a month fee from his own money if that's what he wanted to do as the reason we cancelled is because he never went and it was costing a lot of money.

He's just bought a pair of trainers and a shirt on the joint account for £50 and says that he thinks that's ok because I've bought clothes on the joint account.

Actually what I've done is buy some very cheap maternity jeans and maternity vests on the joint account. I pay for all my make up, shoes, any other clothes etc out of my money. I even discussed with him how we were going to pay for maternity clothes and if he would be ok with me getting it out of the joint account and he said fine.

Now he says he won't pay for his shoes and shirt because of this.

AIBU or is he (and yes, I realise this is slightly puerile!)

We used to have similar problems, but then we changed our "own" money to being transferred into our accounts weekly. The joint account is for paying bills etc, and any withdrawals from it has to be checked with both of us. We both have weekly housekeeping transferred into sole accounts - I am responsible for food shopping out of that, dh is responsible for diesel. Anything we can save out of it is our own to play with .

No your way sounds ridiculously complicated to me Morris, sorry.

Practically everything we spend - shopping, food, clothes for DD, bills comes out of our joint account.

Sitting down and working out who owes each other what would lead to more arguments!

I think he just needs to check (well we both do, but him more than me) before he spends money on stuff that he considers to be joint.

I've just noticed he spent £65 on a cabinet for the tools in his garage, which is a totally unnecessary purchase IMO and I would have told him so if he'd bothered to check with me first before he bought it.

Clothes are a necessity sometimes, be it maternity clothes or normal. If you can spend on clothes from the joint account then he should be able to too. I wouldnt see maternity clothes as a joint expense to be honest if all clothes weren't.

I'd check on big purchases but would be if I had to check with DH over everything I bought.

This is why we don't have an agreement about his/my money vs. joint money, despite vague attempts over the years to set one up.

If he wants a new computer gadget, and I don't - should he pay out of "his" money, even though I would benefit?

I want to buy some plants for the garden, he's not fussed - should I pay out of "my" money, even though he gets to look at a nice garden too?

Luckily neither of us overspends greatly!

Thanks all.

Still not been convinced IABU by any of these arguments, but that's probably because DH and I have already agreed that pregnancy expenses are a joint expense and not one that I alone should have to foot the bill for!

"Clothes are a necessity sometimes"

Indeed they are, but if you can't manage to buy clothes with a budget of £100 a month (given that all bills, shopping etc are paid out of the j/a) then there is some seriously juvenile behaviour going on here.

The DH in this scenario has spent almost £200 more on stuff for himself than she has!!