to be fuming at my friend.

[LittleMrsHappy]

OK so maybe I am being unreasonable here, I dont know.

Ds2 is 4 and at Nursery, their is a child at his Nursery having a birthday party on Sunday, (I had a run in with the birthday child's mother, about a incident at Nursery concerning both boys, which the Nursery handled inappropriately) but thought is had been resolved.

Anyway, Nursery teacher gave out party invitations to ALL children in the Nursery setting except for my ds (both boys at Nursery get on really well and are apparently like two peas in a pod, comment from his Nursery teacher) I had to go into the quite room for ds as his teacher was trying to settle him, as he was very upset and sobbing, as he could not understand how he was not allowed to go to X child's party, as was the birthday party boy who was being comforted by his childminder. Teacher said she did not know he was not invited (birthday child said his mum told him ds1 was not allowed to go).

While talking to my friend, I mentioned that it took ages for me to settle ds1 as he feels like he has been naughty as he is not going to his friends party.

I tried explaining to ds1 that unfortunately that not everyone can go to ALL birthday parties and that sometimes it just the way things are, I felt awful as he turned and said, well everyone is going, just not me and started sobbing.

I MUST stress that I wasn't upset that ds1 was not going to the party, but at the fact that he had to endure every child getting a invitation except for him, and him thinking he was naughty for not going to X- child's party. both boys were visibly upset by the situation.

Friend said that her child has been invited also (afternoon setting, and not in the birthday child's class) and that she felt horrible and was sad for ds, as he burst out crying again.

Yesterday my friend had phoned the birthday child's mother up, and said that my ds is very upset and she did not think that my child should be left out due to a incident that happened months ago.

Ds came home today with birthday child's invitation, very very very happy (beaming infact)

Im fuming tbh, I now feel like a charity case, and feel that by going to the party with ds, I will be the laughing stock.

Im really thinking of just sending dh, as ds1 is now very very excited to go to the party.

AIBU, to be fuming at friend

MavisG is right - be the bigger person - and take DH for extra bolstering. I think the other woman was a cowbag not to invite your son though.

Oh and your firend should have spoken to you first before wading in - I would have a word about fighting your own battles etc.

OK, so friend has just phoned me, and were going together (she was not going to go, as she was supposed to be working) I have told her that although I was miffed at her, I knew her heart was in the right place, she knew I would be miffed (she knows me too well ) but she knew that it would always be a issue (both boys starting reception together) and she knew I would just let it pass time and time again, as to not wanting to make the 1st incident any worse, so by me staying silent and non confrontational, the children would not be involved by any disputes on my part.

Taking a bottle of wine sounds a good idea also.

Oh god, what a horrible cow!!! Im lost for words!!

Well done you for rising above it - of course you have to go, and you have to be the bigger person. Buy the wee lad a lovely present - bugger the parents, be polite, you dont have to be grateful - your friend, bless her, shamed this woman into doing the right thing. There is no way you would be the laughing stock - im sure everyone would be about her original actions.

To take things out on a child is the lowest of the low

She sounds like a brilliant friend.

LEM, I don't think the parents deserve wine, I think the other mum behaved really horribly. But she accepted losing face and invited op's son, and the boys' friendship might last a lifetime - really worth being magnanimous now.

I would be thrilled to have a friend like that....one who loves me and my son enough to be brave enough to ring and ask why, and also to point out how unreasonable the other mother was being.

feel thrilled, not like a charity case, and revel in your sons happiness

truly, your friend is lovely

YABU. Your friend was just trying to help.

The other parent was very wrong to exclude just your DS and TBH I am glad that she has been pulled up on it and has seen that she has been wrong to do so. I hate it when I read here on Mn of just onechild being excluded and wish morepeople would stand up to the mean parent doing the excludig (and it is always mean to just exclude one IMO).

Your DS is excited. Swallow your pride and let him g, and he will have a lovely time.

And make sure you invite the borthday boy to your DS's party too

For your kid's sake, send him to the party. Agree getting dh to do it seems like a good idea! Is all a bit embarrassing uut hey, your ds is now going to the party and that's what really matters.

If you can, I would have a word as gently and nicely as possible with the grumpy mum, to see if you can get to the bottom of why she's cross with you and sort it all out. Agree it was nasty to not invite your child, I think your friend was well-intentioned to step in.