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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Only Just Be Putting 1Y0 in her own room?

25 replies

MrsMontague · 10/02/2010 13:07

My DD was 1 a couple of weeks ago, and we are planning on putting her in her own bedroom this weekend for the first time.

The reason for this is before we moved into this house in October, we were living in a 1 bedroom flat, so obviously she was in with us then. And the house has needed a lot of work done to it, and her room is only just ready, but my aunty seems to think it will be impossible getting her to make the transition now, as she is 'too aware'?

Is this true? Is she really a lot older than the age children are normally put in their own rooms?

OP posts:

Rhian82 · 10/02/2010 13:11

DS only went in his own room a week before his first birthday, for the same reason as you - we were in a one-bed place before then.

No problems whatsoever. His sleeping didn't get worse, and didn't get better. He absolutely loved having his own space though and proper places for his toys.

A lot of people seem to put kids in their own room once they outgrow a Moses basket, though this contradicts SIDS guidelines. Lots of people on here though keep their kids in the same room for several years. Don't think it causes them any problems.

Pineapplechunks · 10/02/2010 13:12

YANBU in the least. Babies should stay in their parents room for at least the first 6 months of life.

I not only shared a room but also a bed with my DD until she was 3 because of the same as reason as you-no more rooms! She was absolutely fine about moving into her own room in her own bed, no problem at all.

Who knows how your DD will react to moving into her room? She might not like or she might be fine with it.

If you have decided it's time for her own room then do it.

fernie3 · 10/02/2010 13:21

we put ours in their own rooms just before 1st birhtday around 11 months each time.

hophophippidtyhop · 10/02/2010 13:27

We put our 2 1/2 dd in her own room only last week, and I haven't even got the excuse of being in a one bedroom place! She absolutely loves it and settled straight away, doesn't get out of bed til we go in to her in the morning, and has stopped waking halfway through the night to get in our bed.

Ziggurat · 10/02/2010 13:30

Put her in there and see how she goes - there's no hard and fast rules (other than SIDS guidelines).

DS1 went into his room at 4 months - it is right next to ours, and I can hear every deep breath, let alone cry. We were waking him, and he was waking us, so at 4 months, he moved.

What's right for one family won't be right for another, but I wouldn't start panicking that she won't settle unless she actually doesn't settle!

TeflonMum · 10/02/2010 14:04

DD was 11 mths when she went into her own room. Also made the decision because we were all waking each other up constantly.

I still bring her into our room if she is unwell (has had various ear infections etc).

She barely noticed the transition, to be honest.

Try it out and see how you go.

happymatleave · 10/02/2010 14:09

DD was 18 months when she went in her own room. We were just too lazy to empty and decorate it before then as it had been used for storage for so long.

She was fine, slept well from the start.

Don't worry about it.

ImSoNotTelling · 10/02/2010 14:12

YANBU of course not.

As for whether transition will be easy or not - depends on the child more than the age I reckon.

happymatleave · 10/02/2010 14:18

Yes I agree, we are having trouble with DS now and he is much younger, it's just easier with some children than others.

muminthecity · 10/02/2010 14:23

YANBU - my DD went into her own room for the first time 2 weeks ago - she's 4

Everyone told me I was making a rod for my own back, she'd never sleep on her own etc etc, well they were wrong, she's slept through every night in her own bed since we made the transition. Ignore people's negative comments, your DD will be fine.

marbear · 10/02/2010 23:01

Absolutely not - you both need your own space and trust me you'll still know when they need you - sixth sense

Joolyjoolyjoo · 10/02/2010 23:10

YANBU. With dd1 I listened to the rod-for-your-own-back stuff and moved her at 6mths, then spent the next 6 mths draped over her cot each night, practically sobbing with fatigue!!

Couldn't face it with dd2- she co-slept some of the time (was too scared with dd1), then in her cot in our room, then into her own room at 1- and it was a far easier transition! Did the same with ds, and again, no problems! I found that by that age we were waking them up going to bed, and they slept better once they had peace and quiet! Good luck.

MrsSawdust · 10/02/2010 23:11

DD is 17 months and still in our room. It just suits us. No other reason why! I ignore what other people think of our sleeping arrangements.

Conundrumish · 10/02/2010 23:18

Sounds fine to me. Like others say, the recommendation is for them to spend the first 6 months with you anyhow.

I used to love waking up and seeing the DCs little faces looking at me .

Niecie · 10/02/2010 23:20

YANBU - DS2 was 16 mths before he went in his own room for similar reasons to you. We moved when he was 7 mths and then spent the next 9 mths doing up our new house and his room wasn't ready until then (building work not just a spot of decorating).

I don't remember him having any trouble settling at all. Yes, he was aware but he loved it when he got his own room. We just made sure that he knew we would come if he needed us by being quite quick to respond if he called out but it was hardly an issue at all.

The other advantage of the child being older is that you can talk to them about it and they have a degree of undertanding so awareness has its plus side.

Your DD is probably a bit older than most children when they move but that doesn't matter. If it suits you then what other people do isn't relevant.

MrsWillis · 10/02/2010 23:25

My DD is 11 mths and still in with me. She won't go in her own room until I move house next month as she still wakes in the night and as we are currently in a 2 bed flat, I didn't want her waking DS.

She will have her own room in my new house but if she doesn't take to it then I will move her back in with me and try again in a few months.

MoChan · 10/02/2010 23:27

My daughter only got her own room when we moved house when she was around eighteen months old. I didn't see this as a problem. It took her a few days to get used to it (and I suspect this was partly because it was a new house, also) but it was fine.

Shitemum · 10/02/2010 23:28

DD1 was 20 mo when we moved to a bigger house and she got her own room.

BertieBotts · 10/02/2010 23:42

DS is 16 months and in my room - actually we still co-sleep, but he tends to sleep away from me now (and do bed acrobatics and end up horizontal or upside down) so I'm sure he'd be completely happy on his own, and I have another room for him to go into when he/I am ready but for the moment, I like having him there!

It is only relatively recently that families have slept in separate rooms anyway. My friend's mum slept on her own in a room for the first time when she got divorced in her 40s

MaisieBean · 12/02/2010 20:44

Our DS didn't go into his own room til he was about 10/ 11 months and I felt desperately sad that he wasn't with us anymore and I probably get less sleep now because I am constantly listening at the intercom.

So, in short, no YANBU.

dylsmum1998 · 12/02/2010 20:50

yanbu- dd is still in my room she is 3- will be 4 in a couple of months

Jamieandhismagictorch · 12/02/2010 20:57

YANBU.

My son is 34 and we have just moved him to is own room. He was a bit distressed but he loves his new racing car bed.

VengefulKitty · 12/02/2010 20:59

YANBU.

For relatively same reasons as you DS went into his own room at 14mths. Was not a problem in the slightest.

Wonderstuff · 12/02/2010 21:01

My dd was just over 2 when she moved to her own room, we were in a one bed flat before that. I was really worried that she would hate it and I'd be up and down all night. But she was fine, she loves her room with all her toys in it. She actually sent dh out of the room on her second night 'night night daddy go now' so now I think that maybe waiting until they are a bit older is easier.
Good luck, hope it works out well. I'm loving having my room back, not having to tiptoe in, being able to whack the lights on and read my book. Tis bliss.

PrincessBoo · 13/02/2010 00:15

YANBU

DS is 2 and only just gone into his own room. Still in our bed from about 4am onwards. Whatever works for you is best.

Jamie

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