I have boys, most friends have girls.......worried we will drift apart

[toddlergroupdynamics]

AIBU to worry??? Does this always happen??

I cannot see a single reason why you would drift apart.

If you have things in common other than young children it shouldn't be a problem.

Why?

I have girls and my best friend has boys, I can't see it being a problem. They aren't different species!

I played happily with my brother and his mates until we all hit puberty - so you've got at least that long. Also no guarantee your kids will get on withyour mates kids even if they are all teh same sex.

My friends had all boys, I had girls (although now some of us have the other gender too as times gone on) and it was no probs, they are soon at school anyway!

Most of my friends have girls and we have not drifted apart so far and our dd/ds are 3. We all regularly meet up and our children play well together be it with the girls or the boys toys. To be honest ds is more than happy to be playing with my friends childrens kitchens etc

When we go to parks and swimming pools they all want to do the same things.

The girls will be going to dance classes soon as and ds will not be going as he as no interest but if he did then he could go as I know a few boys that do go.

In all honesty it really has not been a problem and don't see why you should not have a similar experience.

DS will go to school with the girls perhaps things will change between the children but can't see why it would between my friends.

Hope that helps

Can't see why. I have friends who have all girls, all boys or a mix. The kids do tend to play differently but they mostly get along and sometimes kids have to play with other kids they are not too keen on cause their Mums are friends.

Thank-you.That does make me feel better.

One of my friends with DD's keeps saying if the children fall out "Oh boys are stinky" "oh that's boys" etc..... "How will you feel about being a MIL" etc etc etc....

She is the only one out of them all but I just feel its getting a bit annoying now.

Well she sounds a bit weird TBH.

My DD1 is 2.5 and my best mates son is 3 and they play very well together. Honestly I wouldn't worry about it.

I was the opposite- had girls and most friends have boys! if I'm honest, it did start causing a few problems when they got to 3-4- the boys refused to let the girls play, and there was lots of tears! Eventually I conceded that it wasn't fair to make the girls play with the boys when they didn't really enjoy it- the boys didn't want to play the games they did and vice versa. I still see my friends- without the kids! We now tend to go out once in a while and catch up. Now that the kids are at school and nursery we don't really have time during the day for the long coffees (sob!) but we are all still friends, even if we don't get together as often as I had once thought we would

Well to be fair toddler my boy is often stinky.

One of my friend's little girls has started rolling her eyes and saying "Boy's" when they are being well, boys. She misses the fact that her little sister is usually in the thick of things and is a serious ringleader if I ever saw one.

I have girls and all of my friends have boys and we haven't drifted apart. My eldest DD is 5 and has lots of fun playing with my friends' boys, all of whom she considers to be her friends. At the moment gender still doesn't matter to her outside school although she denies all knowledge of there being any boys in her class at school... there are 19 so I would have thought she might have noticed!

All my friends have had girls and we still meet up twice a week with no problems. The older ones (7) still get on fine.

The only slight difficulty I have encountered is that having been very careful to 'play nicely' with girls, when they have started pre-school and come across like-minded boys, they have been incredibly boisterous.

my best friend has DD same age as my DS - 4. Until recently it has not been a problem, but now their interests are soooo different - he very physical, running, play-fighting, super-hero; she painting, dolls, dancing. So they clash. So I'm keeping them apart - she winds him up, he ends up thumping her, he gets told off, she smirks (or so it seems to me). So I don't see so much of my friend right now, but have ended up spending lots more time with another friend and her DS - the boys play great together, no fighting, my DS the loveable boy I know he is, not the thug my best friend sees him as! But her DD and my DS will be going to school together, and I;m praying they'll get back to loving each other again by then! We hope they'll get married one day... or be each other's Best Man/Woman.

I think they are so different at this age, we just have to accept that at times their needs dictate who the playdates are with. My friend and I now meet for coffee when our kids are at pre-school and don't tend to meet up with them for the time being. It's fantastic being able to have uninterrupted conversation....

I've never had gender problems with my dc (I have a ds and a dd) and friends' children until recently.
Nowadays, my 7.5 ds might vaguely complain before meeting up with "no, not girls again..."... but they end up playing together quite happily. The other day they spent the afternoon pretending they were climbing the Everest.

I wouldn't worry. My ds1 (8 nearly) has lots of girls as friends. Just do things that aren't gender specific.

I meet up weekly with a group of friends I made at a new parents group when our elder children were weeks old. As everyone now has 2 kids the the resultant get togethers are not exactly peaceful. What was supposed to be a relaxing get-together over coffee and cake was becoming a bit too stressful, with 8 mothers and 16 children of five and under. (I found 7 kids all jumping on my daughter's bed at the same time. There had been 8 but one of them had fallen off.)

So we're having smaller groups meeting up and unfortunately the natural split seems to be on male/female lines. The mums all meet up separately, and we get together with the little ones whilst the elder siblings are at school, but I do think it is a shame, particularly as I have two girls and the elder one could do with having a bit more testosterone about.

I don't think it will matter. I think you'll find it will come down to personality and friendship dynamics rather than boy/girl. My DD is not so friendly with one of my friends DD now, as my DD is very loud and boisterous, and friends DD is very quiet and studious! We have given up trying to force them together just so WE could have a coffee and a chat together, and we just go out in the evening instead now without the kids!

Thank-you! This is making we feel better!

I think if they are good friends then they will stay that.

Whether your children continue to get on is another matter, I find in this situ its best if there are 3 or 4 friends with kids if you all know each other, mine seem to get on better the more kids there are ( I have one of each, but when I just had DS, dropped a few acquaintances as they were bitchy about boys, not real friends obv! ).

Or if its really not working with the kids later on, then just see them in the evening.

I will be honest, it does get harder as the children get older. I have three dses, and have a friend with two dds, and it was difficult for us to socialise with the children around, because as they got towards their teens, they had very different interests, and little in common.

But we could, and did, socialise without the children - either going out for a 'Girls Night Out', leaving the dhs to look after the children, or during the school day. I don't think we have drifted apart, but the dynamics of the relationship have had to change.

Just ROFFLED @ "boys tend to be into balls and nothing else" nothing changes does it

If you're only friends because of the kids you might, otherwise you will likely find your friendship is an adult one rather than a playdate one as the kids get older.

I'd imagine this was likely to happen even if all the kids were girls TBH. Girls who played happily together at age 2 can suddenly fall out at age 5. Then the mums just have to meet up without the kids.