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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Softplay, telling other people's children off........

57 replies

posieparker · 08/02/2010 16:51

I rarely brave these places anymore, too many lazy arsed parents not watching their children, but today I did. Cue child crying for ten minutes before I found her mother, sat texting not watching her two-three year old, then another little girl who was no more than two was terrorising other children. She scratched my friend's child's face which bled in three places and then rammed babies/toddlers with a ride on car, hard. One of these babies was my 15 month old.

I found a member of staff and complained, my friend took the child by the arm and told her off. Now I think she should have either found her parents or a member of staff. Retrospective telling off of someone else's child is not on and can get you punched! what would you have done?

OP posts:
posieparker · 08/02/2010 18:57

If i was there with my six and nearly eight year old, I would be scanning every now and then ensuring they're behaving. With my three and one year old I'm right there, still you can't stop an unprovoked attack from an unwatched child!! However if your child needs watching, likely to hit/fall etc then you have no time for magazines!!!

OP posts:
Dirtgirl · 08/02/2010 18:57

I helicopter at softplay, but only because DS is only 2 but wants to climb everywhere so I have to help him. If another child is being dangerous I'd get him out of the way. I rarely tell any other kids off, but if I have to intervene, I'd be very gentle about it, just saying 'careful' is usually enough.

I like softplay centres. It is one of the few places to go and tire DS out in the winter. Am sick of shivering in the park.

Wallace · 08/02/2010 18:58

If somebody brought my child to me crying I might look annoyed bacause i would have to stop drinking my tea and nattering and see to my child

Actually I would probably say thank you.

swallowedAfly · 08/02/2010 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

activate · 08/02/2010 19:04

heads to softplay with Maggie and Wallace

swallowedAfly · 08/02/2010 19:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Wallace · 08/02/2010 19:07
Grin
thedollshouse · 08/02/2010 19:09

Ds is 5.6 now so I tend to leave him to his own devices and check on him occasionally. He isn't the type to batter a toddler though, if he was he wouldn't be at soft play.

GhoulsAreLoud · 08/02/2010 19:14

I agree that a 6 yr old shouldn't have to be watched at soft play but for god's sake could you just ask them to stay out of the 0-2's area.

This area is tiny at our soft play while the rest of it is massive and it is still alway full of 5/6/7/8 year olds bundling down the slide and bashing into the little ones.

posieparker · 08/02/2010 19:24

Completely agree that six plus year olds have to be pretty well behaved to be left to their own devices....the shouting, shrieking and general fish wife parenting that mine have had means they can go to soft play and behave!!

OP posts:
elvislives · 08/02/2010 19:25

My DD was hit by a much bigger child at the park last summer. They were at the top of a slide (one of those with a "house" at the top) so I couldn't get to her but I shouted at the other child, and told him "she's only 2". He looked quite shocked and apologised but I was livid. He slapped her face because she was looking through a telescope and he thought she ought to get off . As it was she'd only just got her turn because I'd made her wait while someone else had a go. (why do I bother? No-one else does)

This child had no obvious parent with him. Had I found them they'd have got a mouthful.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 08/02/2010 19:39

I can and do flick through a magazine or have a chat since I am always on alert to ds's cries. And anyway I always go to soft play with my dp, so my ds constantly has two pairs of eyes and ears checking on him.

Even if we wanted to helicopter (which we certainly don't, they provide coffee for a reason) it's impossible because he doesn't stay still for a second anyway, he's far too busy climbing and exploring, usually 4 levels up and at high speed!

taffetacat · 08/02/2010 19:47

I only ever go when I have to ( parties ). I think they are esp awful for children under 4.

There are far nicer places that kids can socialise and burn off energy. And places that serve much better coffee.

KimiLivesInStarbucks · 08/02/2010 20:04

Sadly it it because so many people are scared to tell of nasty unruly children and a lot of parents think little Johnny is the most angelic and precious child ever so no one has the right to tell ikkle precious off that we are left with kids who literally think they can get away with murder

KimiLivesInStarbucks · 08/02/2010 20:04

tell OFF

lovechoc · 08/02/2010 20:07

agree taffetacat - I don't think they really are great for the under 4's. I took DS between the age of 12months and 2 yo. Not great because I have to constantly supervise and don't get a break - no fun if you're the only one there to watch them. It's v stressful - much easier going to a play park locally as they can run around freely without me having to check as often. He's a bit older now so fairly independent and haven't been back to soft play for ages now. Intend to keep in that way. The financial side of it puts me off going, as well as the hassle of taking off the shoes, supervising etc. It's tiring just thinking about it actually....

supagirl · 09/02/2010 11:00

Mine vary in age so it's good for us as the 10 year old and the baby and all the kids in between will find something to do there (not much longer for the 10yr old though I suspect!)

I agree with others though - I stay with the babies but just keep an eye out for the older ones, I know they'll let me know if there's a problem.

I agree with a pp though - I don't let my older ones play in the toddler area, even though their siblings are in there so I have no qualms about pointing out the age limit to older kids bulldozing the tiny ones out of the way. I also find it annoying when people let their tiny ones in the bit for older kids then complain they have been knocked down......keep them in the toddler area then! It's not really rocket science but you would think so on a busy Saturday afternoon!

oldernowiser · 09/02/2010 11:05

Thank god I don't have to go any more. The memories are enough to make me shudder!

EleanorBuntingCupcake · 09/02/2010 11:10

these threads are getting worse! i can't believe the amount of people who merrily boast about police being called and would happily 'fight' with other adults over a few slap happy toddlers.

ChippingIn · 09/02/2010 11:12

I would tell off an older child, but not a 2 year old - I would explain why this wasn't a good thing to do - gently. I have & will continue to tell oder children off and if their behaviour is bad enough get them to take me to their leader 'adult'. I like the way we were raised in the 70's and think it would be better if life were still more like that! Mind you, we live in a 'nice' area and our soft play is a really nice place (not mentioning the name/area on purpose) - some of them that you guys talk about sound like hell with scary parents thrown in for good measure!!

Polynomial · 09/02/2010 11:24

When I took my toddler DC to one for the first time a little boy kept following her around and whacking her. I had to keep moving her out of his way -I didn't tell him off.

Eventually his carer (I don't think it could have been his mum) appeared and said that he was autistic and didn't know what he was doing - she said I was being over protective .

We left, and as I was putting my DC's shoes on I saw him look at another little girl then start whacking heer. The carer just looked on.

WWYD in such a situation?

IvaNighSpare · 09/02/2010 11:32

Probably not very PC but I find with older children that should know better and act violently towards the little ones that a blood-curdling threat whispered deliberately yet smilingly into the little fecker's naughty child's ear has the desired effect.
If they run to mummy, then I'll deal with her then. The beauty of the soft play places is there is safety in numbers and plenty of witnesses if things threaten to kick off.

[I'll get me coat emoticon]

junglist1 · 09/02/2010 11:45

Merrily boast! You can sit there and let a man swear at your child but I wouldn't and my friends wouldn't either. We stick up for our children.

EleanorBuntingCupcake · 09/02/2010 11:47

i tend to avoid places were folk are likely to swear at children

MiladyDeWinter · 09/02/2010 11:49

at blood-curdling threat uttered through gritted teeth with maniacal grin. That would work.