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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think our "friend" is taking advantage...

39 replies

mad4mainecoons · 07/02/2010 20:53

bit of a long story, sorry;

when first married dh and i lived in a static caravan on land owned by my DH while his mum lived in the big farmhouse. so i got pregnant and MIL (very kindly) gave us the house and bought herself a smaller house.

so our static caravan was empty, and our friend was looking for somewhere to live and we agreed he could rent our caravan £50 weekly all inc. as all the water and electric ect. run from the main house.the hot water and heating run from gas bottles which he was to supply himself. he paid us cash weekly and all was well for the first 18 months or so. but he started to then pay us monthly, and then every other month and it has got to the point now where he last paid us anything in november 09' and he is so far behind on the rent he now owes us over £1000!.

in addition he has decided that the gas was working out too expensive so just bought electric heaters which he leaves on 24/7 thus sending our electricity bill soaring.

him and his girlfriend are close friends of ours so it is really awkward. we would not rent it to anyone else due to the position of the caravan on our land so its not like we can get a new tenant.

i want to think he is genuinely forgetting and not realising how much he owes - despite me making comments on the odd occation but now i think he is taking the piss.

it is a very informal and freindly arrangement but as we still have to pay electric and water for him i think we really should be getting some rent.

WWYD?. thanks for reading.x

OP posts:
puddinghead · 07/02/2010 22:21

Yes, don't start feeling guilty about them or being too hard on yourself for being 'soft'. Noone wants to believe their friends would sponge off them, that's not what real friends do after all.

But he's had his chances and now you've decided enough is enough - stick to your guns and be pleased with yourself that you're sorting it now.

Fluffyone · 07/02/2010 23:11

What is your legal status as his landlords? Do you declare your income for tax? Before you cut off the power or change the locks it's just something to consider.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 08/02/2010 08:14

I think you can earn a certain amount as landlords before it has to be declared as income.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 08/02/2010 08:41

I hope that you can sort this out. As others have said, I would definitely be unplugging his electricity supply.

LIZS · 08/02/2010 08:54

He's got away with letting the rent slide so it has lulled him into a sense that he can push things further. Work out how much electric he is using - you could get one of those monitors and see how much a heater costs then multiply it out. Odd comments are convenientntly easily ignored. Tell him you need to put up his rent to reflect it and give him an invoice for the arrears and electricity. If he baulks he is no friend and you are well rid. If he has a gf maybe they'd like to go somewhere more permanent and face the real cost of living .

ninedragons · 08/02/2010 09:32

He's a close friend so I don't think you need to go in with guns blazing.

Just find a quiet moment to sit down with a glass of wine and ask him if he's in financial trouble.

Sometimes people lose their jobs and go to extraordinary lengths to conceal it.

mad4mainecoons · 08/02/2010 21:26

YAY!!!!! we sorted it girls!

i read aloud all your posts to my DH and this morning he (grew a pair ) & went down for a chat.

i am 36wks pg so he went in softly softly and claimed i had been going crazy because we could not afford to buy things for DC2 that i really wanted and was giving him grief about it. he pointed out to our friend how far behind he was on the rent and DH said that our friend looked gutted - did say sorry and that he would catch up as soon as possible.

so this evening the guy came up to the house with £700 cash and said he would bring the rest tomorrow.

Thanks so much for giving us the guts to stand up to him. now i can buy the baby bjorn babysitter i have been coveting

love you guys.xxxxxx

OP posts:
MrsSawdust · 08/02/2010 21:32

Ooh I do like a happy ending

AnyFucker · 08/02/2010 21:57
Grin
BitOfFun · 08/02/2010 22:05

Hurrah

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 08/02/2010 23:26

Was anything said about the electric heater situation? Once he is up to date with the rent, he also needs to cough up for his share of the electricity bills and stop using the electric heaters.

ConnorTraceptive · 09/02/2010 11:28

Well done! Glad to hear he looked suitably gutted too! Agree that you must also sort the electric heater situation or up his rent

WingedVictory · 09/02/2010 22:18

Amazing he could get hold of £700 in cash, though....

Was he saving it while you subbed him? Not very impressive.

wineslurper · 09/02/2010 22:26

enjoy your shopping but agree you need to find a solution to the electric heater thing!

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