To think it weird for pil to invite themselves over for "teatime" but watch us eating turning down all offers?

[Snowfun]

Fil rang this afternoon and asked "will you be available to receive visitors at 4pm this afternoon!" His EXACT WORDS!! LOL! Anyway somewhat taken back by the choice of words I said well yes I suppose so! They came about 430. I offered them tea and they turned it down but under pressure from my boys I did tea. Mil said dont let us stop you eating they only came to see the boys because they miss them! They watched us eat and left after about an hour and a half.

I thought my PIL were the only ones that did this!!!!

MIL calls me asking to come and see kids I say yes fine she says we'll be there at teatime.

It used to really annoy me, I would never call someone and ssay that I'm coming at teatime, so I would feel under pressure to make enough for them too as I sort ofassumed they wanted to come for dinner.

After a while when they called and said they were coming at teatime, I would be making the dinner and say to them 'I'm sorry I don't have enough for everyone I hope you don't mind' (which was true and it was always a last minute thing) and they would be fine which made me realise that they weren't inviting themselves for dinner, they just happened to be coming round at 'teatime'.

It wouldn't be so bad and usually I'd feed anyone that was at my door, but there are some issues over them behaving weirdly and not bothering with the kids, so it used to annoy me when they did that.

Anyway, they did it again today and I made the dinner and they sat there not a problem. Though I have to say that I didn't eat because it makes me feel a little uncomfortable eating like that with people sitting there who are not eating.

Also, my dc's eat at around 4.30pm I can't see what the problem is and why so many people are commenting on how strange it is.
Everyone does things differently and it just so happens to be a good time for my dc's, because ds is only 2.5 he needs to eat at around this time so that bythe time he finishes his dinner he can run around as he always geta active after dinner then we wind down and start getting ready for bed 6-6.30. The older dc's like to eat at this time too as they're starving when they come home from school, if they're hungry a little later they have a snack.

My kids have never eaten before about 5.30. In future just say no if they ask to visit then, children's meal times shouldn't be a spectator event like feeding time at the zoo. Just say you prefer not to have visitors at meal times.
It's an easy thing to sort out.
Why do some people find it hard to tell visitors that a particular time is inconvenient? I'd say "no, sorry 4 is meal time but you're welcome to come in the early afternoon."
We're always busy on weekends though so I'd never say someone could come without clarifying when they are coming and whether they expect fed first. I'm good at chasing people away at meal times as well.
I feel if I was visiting someone I'd far rather they told me when I could visit than agreed to a time I suggested and regretted it because they hadn't dare say no to me.

Maybe they timed their visit to co-incide with tea time - they thought it might be an easier way to see the boys when they were sitting down and eating and could talk to/at/around them without needing to do much/any actual interacting and playing with them running around as might have happened if they came earlier or later...

op we have tea at 4 on a sunday, dd insists, so you are not alone(I don't as on a sunday we have a roast atluchtime)