Right, really sorry girls but this is a long one...
I found out I was pregnant last week, and DH and I are really excited about it all. We decided that we wanted to tell both our parents as we didn't want to leave it until week 12 because should the worst happen; I'd really like a bit of extra support. My parents were on holiday at the time, so we decided to tell them when we got back... They were really good about it; well, my Dad was. My Mum's reaction was 'whaaat? What about your career? Why now?' etc, but my Dad was brillant, shaking DH's hand and telling us he was pleased. I'm actually 22 and so is DH. We have been together for a number of years. Once my Mum calmed down a bit, she and my Dad started asking about when we were going to get married (complex bit here; DH and I have travelled the world quite a bit in the past few years and got 'married' in a non-legally binding commitment ceremony in Africa; we kept it between us because a) my parents would've disapproved; they made that quite clear when we told them we didn't want a big wedding - that took a while for them to calm down and it was just a suggestion and b) we wanted to commit to one another in a really beautiful, private ceremony). Anyway, I digress. My Dad said that he was quite old fashioned and didn't want to see me as an unmarried mother; my Mum said the same and we took it with a pinch of salt really. Except, as my Mum went to get their things together to leave, she cornered me and said 'we're not forcing you to get married, but we really want you to because of the baby'.
I then got another phone call at 8am this morning to enquire about a date for the wedding. My point is; why won't she accept that I don't want a shotgun wedding? I think we should be allowed to formally marry when we like and when I feel more comfortable (ie not six months gone). Both of us are more than capable of doing this; we are not stupid, we have excellent jobs in the public sector with flexible working hours for parents; so much so that baby won't need any form of childcare until about 18 months. The final straw was when she said 'I can just see you splitting up and you in a council flat on your own in a few years'. It made me so upset. Why does she have so little faith? I wouldn't go ahead and have a baby with just anybody; and yet it feels like I might has well be a crack - addicted teenage mother of six with seven different Dads. DH and I have been together for a number of years and have our own home and live a lovely life.
She then informed me that she thought I may as well jack my job in, because she couldn't handle leaving me when I was little with a minder.
I just feel very sad that she has so little confidence in us as a couple. Just because we're (legally) unmarried, doesn't mean we're going to make terrible parents, or that he's going to leave me the second the child is born.
Sorry it's such a rant; I just feel pretty peeved with the whole lot and have no idea how to react to this; I'm so stunned...