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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to HATE Sundays?

25 replies

Irishchic · 07/02/2010 13:29

I hate them, they are totally stressful. My husband is around all day, has no patience with the kids, is ratty 'cos he has to help out, have a bit of patience, play with kids, help with lunch etc and he can't watch the sports in peace. We ALWAYS end up having a row on Sundays, ususally over something really petty, like today, he is really annoyed because I moved some stufffrom where he left it. He is really messy, leaves stuff here and there, then gets annoyed when I tidy it away cos it's tripping me up, or getting in the way, whatever.

Sundays leave me wanting to run for the hills...

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 07/02/2010 13:33

err he's not actualkly "helping out" though it he unless they're not his kids. Personally I wouldnt tidy up after him.

Slartybartfast · 07/02/2010 13:36

i often feel the same.
how do you manage on holidays op?
sigh.
go out for the day.

Original poster

Irishchic · 07/02/2010 13:36

Rainbow I have to tidy up after himn because his mess drives me mad.

He is not about much during the week, is selp employed with own business so very much alpha male type. Knows he has to muck in on Sunday but has neither the patience nor will for it and it just ends up irritating him and he is snappy and then we row, bloody predictable weekin week out.

They are his kids too.

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 07/02/2010 13:38

Has he always been like this? I would love someone to tidy up after me!
How likely is it he'll be open to discussion?

Original poster

Irishchic · 07/02/2010 14:17

Rainbow yes he has. We have 5 kids so I don't need to have to pick up after his too.

He is fairly reasonable on most things but gets irritated when I put his stuff away.

You'd think he would be glad. It's not like I am nagging him to do it!

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 07/02/2010 14:19

Well, if you have 5 kids together I'll take a wild guess and say perhaps you actually work far harder than he does during the week.

I really wouldnt clear up after another adult.

Original poster

Irishchic · 07/02/2010 14:27

I know you are right about that.

But I would rather tidy up his stuff than nag him to do it and add further to the Sunday rom quota. Takes more energy to nag and fight than to just do it myself.

OP posts:

swanriver · 07/02/2010 14:28

It has taken me a long tme to crack Sundays.

Tip 1. Go out for lunch if you can afford it,even if just cafe.
OR Tip 2. Make lunch incredibly easy one pot meal, which can be prepared on Saturday
Tip 3. Have nice evening meal and sandwiches for lunch instead, so you can be out and about.

Stay out as much as possible and only come home at teatime, then watch loads of telly.

That's the meal stress.

Now the human stress; bored irritable husband who likes being on go but not in confined space.

Think of some outing you want to do together as a family and plan it a week in a advance, or write a list of possible outings and chart them on calendar over period of weeks. Factor in quiet homey weekends. It could be just him taking some of dcs out, not all.

You - can you plan a little escape for you on Sunday, so that he can go out by himself, and then you get to do something fun by yourself, or again with just one child? Take it in turns to escape, then you won't feel so cross with him for not helping much.

Mess Stress
nothing you can do about this imo except try not to let it get to you, some men my dh included are like this

Morloth · 07/02/2010 14:29

I just constantly refer DS to DH when he needs something on the weekends. He asks me usually because I am around through the week. So all weekend the response "Go get Dad to do it".

DH gets a warning when his shit has reached annoyance level. One warning that I am about to tidy it up, his choices are then to either get up and do it himself or put up with whatever I arrange.

rookiemater · 07/02/2010 14:33

With 5 DCs would it be better if your DH actually took some of them out for an activity ?

I find if both DH and I are in the house it doesn't work well as DS naturally gravitates towards me and I feel resentful because DH getting more leisure time, but if he is taking DS out for an activity or I go out then it works much better. I think DH finds it easier too as I'm not around controlling exactly what happens chipping in with my helpful nuggets of advice !

compo · 07/02/2010 14:33

oh yes we're the same
both of us want to stay in and do our own thing
but of course the kids ned entertaining
then we argue and he has begrudgingly just taken them out
I suggested the park 'I hate going to the park'... er yer, well you might but the kids love it and I hate taking them to school everyday but I still have to do that....

GypsyMoth · 07/02/2010 14:35

all watch the sport together?

nappyzonecantrunfortoffee · 07/02/2010 14:37

yup crapola - do diy, cook a dinner, listen to kids moaning about every veg they dont want to eat, ignore loudness of my ferrel children after dinner, build up of doom till tea time when i have to iron and then the hell of bath time - yup sundays are pretty crap here atm.

lovechoc · 07/02/2010 14:42

DH asleep as he's nightshift tonight, so I'm on my own at weekends to just get on with it all. Gets depressing when you're the only one around to do everything. Most weekends it's fine but this weekend is crap.

Sundays are totally boring.

Original poster

Irishchic · 07/02/2010 14:45

Thanks all, good to know it's not just me. Our youngest is still in nappies so it is hard just getting them all out at all by the time you have got buggies, hats scarves gloves etc, (it doesnt help that the weather is mostly shit these days too!)

They are still too small to take out on big long walks which I know would really help.

Maybe it's just the stage of life we are at..the messy shit will always annoy me, that's becuase I am the Tidy Queen.

OP posts:

thesecondcoming · 07/02/2010 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumperlicious · 07/02/2010 15:32

I get complete 'school night' anxiety on sundays, dread going into work having had 3 days off. It's (mostly) fine when I am there, just hate thinking about and always feel I should spend Sundays Doing Something.

SimonCowellIsSatan · 07/02/2010 15:51

My husband doesn't have weekends off. He is self employed and has a total of about 10 to 14 days off a year (if that)

It pisses me right off. But I still hate Sundays!

WidowWadman · 07/02/2010 15:59

If you waste your sundays on staying in the house, I'm not surprised you hate them. We've just returned from a lovely day at a nearby nature reserve watching birds. Now I'm just waiting for my husband to make me a cuppa and all's great...

deaddei · 07/02/2010 16:42

I have a dh who's words "what are our plans today?" used to fill me with dread. I hate going to places at the weekend because they're always BUSY.
So now dcs sort themselves out with friends, we take it in turn to go to the gym, always have nice dinner about 6 and a glass of wine.
Much happier, all doing our own thing.

ButterPie · 07/02/2010 16:53

We tend to faff about (although today DP entertained DD1 and me and DD2 had a lie in, just feeding and cuddling, which was lovely) until lunch, when usually we go to the inlaws, eat lunch, then chill out for a couple of hours, then come back and do some cooking for the freezer or something, or have visitors.

That's the idea anyway, it depends what mood everyone is in as to if it goes to plan...

ShinyAndNew · 07/02/2010 16:55

I feel the same about Sundays. Saturdays aren't as bad because I work the mornings and he normally goes out on the evenings. But I despise Sundays.

We can't go out, even though me and the kids would love to, because he always deems that the house is too messy and we must stay and clean. Except we get very little done, because he gets under my feet constantly and needs to have 'action plans'. Where I just like to see what needs doing and do it.

If he could help a little during the week, it would never be this bad on a weekend, but apparently he can't. By not helping I mean he does nothing. He kicks of his shoes, requests that I fetch him a drink and then lays his fat arse on the sofa, where he stays for the evening, generally complaining. His lager bottles stay where they land along with his dinner plate/take out cartons/shoes/coat etc. He doesn't wash up, not even a single plate. He does nothing at all through the week and very little over the weekend. Which is why the house is always a mess. I find it very hard to keep uup with it all as well having dd2 full time and working part time.

ChairmumMiaow · 07/02/2010 16:55

We have a sunday morning routine that keeps everyone happy. DH has his long run (normally at least 2 hours) while DS and I stick a disney film on (DH knows that on sunday mornings he does NOT complain about how much TV DS watches )

I sit in my pjs, normally planning the menu for the week / doing the shopping list (great fun eh!) while DS plays and watches the film and then when DH gets back I have a bath for at least an hour. This normally takes us to lunchtime and we'll generally spend the afternoon together doing whatever needs doing, and taking DS to the park for at least a little while if that has been at home.

Anyway, my point is that if your DH has some sport he particularly wants to watch, can you plan in time so he can watch that in peace on the proviso that you get your peace in return?

Original poster

Irishchic · 07/02/2010 18:15

cccIt's not that DH does nothing at all in the house. Today he washed up after brekfast, took in the washing off the line and emptied the dishwasher.

But i still find myself picking up after him to a certain extent.

It's not that which frustrates me, its that we are all inside on top of each other until around 3pm when we can all get out. The toddler still naps 12 to 2, and then by the time you have lunch (even just a sandwich lunch) and the place straightend up after that, then buggy out, 5 sets of hats scarves and coats to oversee it takes us half the bloody day just to get out.

No wonder we are ratty with each other by the end of it all. I always wonder how other families with v young kids all tend to make it out early in the day and do lots of activities together, there always seems to be a nap to have or a nappy to change.

It will change as they get older, i hope

OP posts:

boilinthebag · 07/02/2010 18:35

Dear Nikita09, poor you. The bright side is that when they are older they will probably all a)play together b) go out together and leave you alone to have some time to yourself c) go off with friends as suggests, so you can have time to yourself. I like deaddei's attitude. And advise you look for a wee escape for you even if just for an hour to a cafe to read the paper.
Let go of the tidying. Let it drift away. It's an old script! Rewrite your own.

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