to want to boil dh head!

[LittleMrsHappy]

and for him to take the kids downstairs while I rest/sleep.

I never ask for a lie in, but this week after being ill (chest infection and water infection) it has taken a little out of me, so said to dh on Wed, that I will be having a lie in at the weekend.

So Saturday, expecting a lie in, as dh said he would get up with the children.

So Sat morning he brings the children into our bed at 6.30 am and is talking and playing with the kids who are jumping about on the bed (lie in??????) I was so frustrated with him, I just got the kids and went downstairs, where dh stayed in bed and had lie in and did not get out of bed till 10.

so I had a word and said that why did he take the children downstairs, his reply "I didn't know I had to, you can lie in with the kids in the bed

This morning, I done the exact same thing, and hes kicked off, with me and the kids for making too much noise, we had cbeebies on

Honestly I seriously want to boil the selfish twunts head!

So are you now downstairs with the children and he is in bed having a rest?

Yes.

No, no, no, you have to explain it better to him beforehand, so that he can make plans to go to bed early, get up early and get downstairs with the kids, or preferably outside (this is best, because it means he has to get them fed and dressed , which is something DPs/DHs often fall down on, when facilitating their DP/DW's "lie-in")

Also, I don't understand what happened this morning: "This morning, I done the exact same thing, and hes kicked off, with me and the kids for making too much noise, we had cbeebies on"

Did you try to lie in, or just get up and get the kids, or argue about it first, before flouncing downstairs?

Please, a bit more information would be helpful.

Just be more clear with him about what a lie-in means. Very clear .

Taking the kids downstairs in a huff is just martyrdom and you get nowhere.

Discuss together what you need.

Personally, I would calmly go back upstairs and as him to get up so you can go back to bed for some much needed rest.

Am surprised he thinks it's ok to lay in both days tbh. Especially as you had specifically asked for one.

Sorry, I brought the kids into our bed, as they woke up ay 6.15am, and the heating does not come on until 7am, so I put cbeebies on in our bed as ds1 (4) watches it on a Sunday morning, and I was feeding ds2 in our bed.

ds1 was asking questions about the programme and apparently we ere making too much noice for him to have a sleep. really did I not say this yesterday to you,

Oh FFS!

Why didn´t you just tell him to take the children downstairs.

Oh course he only brought the children in so that you would get up & he would end up with the lie in-and you fell for it!

Errrr
Why dont you just tell him its your turn to have a lie in and tell him to take the kids downstairs?
Stop being a martyr.

Ive said that he needs to get up as we need to go shopping for ds1 birthday present (his mum is looking after the kids for us at 9.30) so we can go and get his present. but he still refused to get up!

I didn't go downstairs in a huff also, I took the kids and went downstairs no need for me to lie in when I was fully awake.

I have explained to him, that I need quite to go to sleep, he knows this, we have been together 10 years, he clearly knows this, but still he thinks its one rule for him and another rue for me!

I never ask for a lie in, only when I feel I need too. I do ALL the night feeds with ds2 (6 months) and in that time, Ive had a lie in about 3 times.

I did, he refused.

You don't need to explain anything to him. He's manipulated his way to two lie ins on one weekend when you are unwell.

Here's where you're going wrong:
1 start expecting (not asking for) your fair share (50%) of lie ins
2 if he pulls ridiculous shit like bringing the children into your bed on your lie in, you say "either you take them downstairs right now or I'll be having my proper lie in tomorrow"

3 don't pay any attention to his complaints when he's operating a blatant double standard as he did this morning. You should have stayed there until he got up

4 boil his lazy head and don't buy any shit about men being simple creatures. He's a scheming shite.

You need a serious chat about the lack of lie ins you are getting.

I am a SAHM mum and DH works longs hours but we still get a lie each every weekend. Sorry, but if he is laying in both days he is taking the piss and you need to put your foot down.

I put up with this kind of nonsense from my dh when mine were little, lots of complicated 'reasons' but it just fed the inequality in our marriage and added to the long term resentment. He is now my xdh.

Do not be a martyr and a doormat. It is worth the short-term unplesantness of a row to reestablish your equality in the relationship. He didn't marry you because you would make a good servant did he? Please, don't make my mistakes.

Am I just being simplistic or couldn't you adjust the heating to come on an hour earlier.

I should explain I dont need alot of sleep, so getting a lie in for me every weekend is not needed, I only really ask for one when I need to rest, having the chest infection, has kept me awake for the better part of the week, and even if I do fall asleep, I then need to use the bathroom as I am needing a wee due to the water infection.

Im back at work in 3 weeks and he has no choice in getting both lie ins, Ill be having one of them. full stop.

Let him, his mum and the kids all go out today and you go back to bed
present shopping can wait
you can tell him what to buy in your lunch hour
you are ill you need to rest not go shopping