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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this parent was wrong to phone the police?

102 replies

memoo · 06/02/2010 18:26

Today DH and I took the the kids to the local park. To cut a very long story short after we had been there about 10 minutes a police car arrived, 2 officers got out and after a conversation with one of the dads they then approached a couple with two young children.

We were sat nearby this couple and so could hear exactly what was being said. The police officers asked the male of the couple if he had been taking pictures, He replied that yes he had taken pictures of the play area while his daughter was playing in it.

The policewoman then asked if he had been taking photos of other children in the play area to which the man said he hadn't.

They then searched his camera and his mobile! presumably checking the photos on there.

The conversation went on for a while longer until the police were finally satisfied that he really was just a loving dad taking photos of his daughter playing.

I just cannot believe that someone phoned the police! and said so very loudly within hearing of the man who phoned them

I think this is the most increadably sad thing I have ever witnessed! I think the man who phoned the police should be bloody shot!

OP posts:
Kaloki · 06/02/2010 22:06

I thought so herbietea just thought I'd point it out in case anyone else thought it was applicable in the case of the op.

Edam Spot on, it's insane how many people believe there are laws against photography

Original poster
memoo · 06/02/2010 22:07

Before they police approached the man they spoke briefly to another father who was at the park with his children. I assumed that it was him who called the police.

I do think the police handled it badly, they could have at least been discrete in the way they spoke to the father with the camera but they questioned him loudly in full hearing of me and other parents nearby. The poor man looked distraught!

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 06/02/2010 22:14

Perhaps they thought by being so very public about it they would deter any other men with cameras. Thus preventing them from having to repeat the process on a daily basis.

DuelingFanjo · 06/02/2010 22:19

you know, my ex went out to walk our dog late one night and reprimanded some kids for for setting fire to rubbish in the lanes. next thing we knew we had an angry dad at the door accusing him of being a paedophile because he'd taken a photo of the kids as evidence and one of them had called their dad!

Goblinchild · 06/02/2010 22:21

Children aren't stupid, and it's now an almost failsafe way of unsettling an adult.
Won't be the last time those lads use it as a way of deflecting trouble.

gaelicsheep · 06/02/2010 22:29

I wonder if the police would have been called if the mother had been taking the photos? The world's gone mad. If parents are unhappy about their children appearing in the background of another parents' photos, then it's up to them to say something. Not a job for the police at all.

edam · 06/02/2010 23:43

Golinchild - they have no right at all to 'deter other men with cameras'. Taking a photograph is not, actually, a crime.

ToccataAndFudge · 07/02/2010 00:03

YANBU at all.

My brother (single) is a keen photographer - very good one actually - his preferred photos are of flowers, trees, birds, animals, insects........parks (obviously) are a good place for taking photos of these things. He used to (just like my dad who he inherited the bug from) take his camera with him almost every time he left the house.

He no longer does because of the finger pointing that goes on.

Still at least the "all men are paedos" hasn't (yet) stopped him working in childcare......

onagar · 07/02/2010 00:09

Well said Edam!

What happens if you say "yes I did take pictures that included other kids - so what?"

GypsyMoth · 07/02/2010 00:15

speaking as a former police officer i'd say/guess that whoever made the call either embellished the truth a little,or saw something the op didnt.....police really DO have better things to be doing.

pinkyp · 07/02/2010 00:31

The caller must of thought something didnt seem right to have phoned the police. There was no harm in it, the police just asked the man and checked it out and left, no problem is there? If they had found something and he'd been arrested then everybody would be saying the bloke who phoned was a hero and you can never be too sure.No harm done is there? Bit embaressing for the dad but if as he had kids himself i'm sure he'd understand completely.

nooka · 07/02/2010 00:33

Yes, that's what I would assume too. Although they might have been community police who happened to be nearby. Sad to think that anyone should feel it was desirable to deter men from taking pictures of their own children in a public park.

nooka · 07/02/2010 01:36

But I wouldn't "understand completely" I would be totally mortified, upset and angry. dh on the other hand said he'd just be resigned, and that in the UK he felt he could never help a child in case of accusations. Seems to me we have lost something very important there, with little if any difference to the safety of children (who lets not forget are most likely to be abused by close family or friends, not random strangers in the park).

MadamDeathstare · 07/02/2010 03:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumGoneCrazy · 07/02/2010 03:38

I think its very sad that these days dads in fact all males feel they cant talk to children that dont belong to them anymore because of the whole all men are pedo's

While travelling on the bus my DC used to get loads of attention from the old people now ive noticed that the men do it less, i dont know this for certain but i would guess that its because they dont want funny looks or people thinking things of them.

DP is now worried about walking our estate at night because a few weeks ago DS was late coming home and as it was dark DP decided to look for him
after 5mins he found a group of kids asked them if they had seen DS they said no
so he carried on looking after another 10 mins he seen the same group on a different part of the estate so he asked them again and they said no
he started to head home only to have a teenage lad run up to him shouting
"why are you following my cousin around?"
"she's only 8"
"are you a pedo? do you fancy kids? your sick you are"

So now if DS is late or we need something from the shop or the dog needs walking i have to go

Not sad because im lazy and sick of walking the dog but sad that DP feels lke he cant go out and ask a minor an innocent question without being called a pedo

skidoodle · 07/02/2010 03:45

No, situations like this occur because of officious "community" police and other officers who don't know the law and busybodies who think photography is a proscribed activity.

Anyone who thinks there is no harm in police arriving at the park to question people engagedin lawful pursuits is a moron.

edam · 07/02/2010 10:05

MadamDeathstare - but the guy in California hasn't inspired the UK police. They are acting out of officiousness and public hysteria. And, tbh, anyone could work out that merry-go-rounds and bowling alleys are places where children will be.

The fact remains that photography is entirely legal and law-abiding citizens going about their business should not be the targets of police harassment. There is no law against photography hence no need for police activity.

Goodness me, there was enough outrage in this country when those British plane-spotters were banged up in Greece... yet we are just as mad over here (although don't go quite as far as sticking people in prison).

fernie3 · 07/02/2010 11:05

YANBU my dad has had a longtime hobby of photography, we went to parade wtc with rides when my daughter was little my dad tooka photo of her on a ride and was asked to leave because aparent had complained that her child was in shot (blurred behind my daughter).My dad was humilated in front of a large group of people, not all men are criminals and people forget that very quickly!.

cory · 07/02/2010 11:14

So how do you prove your innocence if you have one of the oldfashioned non-digital cameras?

Mumcentreplus · 07/02/2010 11:15

some people are really hysterical i tell you!

SimonCowellIsSatan · 07/02/2010 11:23

People think there's a paedophile around every corner these days. It really is incredibly pathetic.

Goblinchild · 07/02/2010 11:23

cory, they confiscate the camera and develop the film.

Mumcentreplus · 07/02/2010 11:33

But what if you hadn't used all the film?...would they replace it?..and would you have to give them the film by law?

I think this kind of hysteria/well meaning could be used to harass other parents/people...or am I being hysterical?

cory · 07/02/2010 11:34
Smithagain · 07/02/2010 11:50

I am feeling so that police time is being spent on questioning a dad in a park, when our local police force completely refused to take any meaningful action when my DH was deliberately run off the road by a man in a van. And there were witnesses. And they got the registration no. But it wasn't a "high priority" so they refused to follow it up .