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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go on honeymoon without the kids?

26 replies

ChickandDuck · 06/02/2010 17:26

Me and DP (well DF, but I cringe when I say it) are getting wed in the summer. MIL and FIL have offered to have the kids (who will be 18mo and 4yo when we go) for a week so we can have a honeymoon.

When I've told others about this they seem horrified at the thought...so AI or AWBU??

OP posts:
morethanyoubargainfor · 06/02/2010 17:30

i don't think YABU, we did the same. Our ds was 18 months when we got married and we left him with our parents for 10 days whilst we went to the Maldives.

On the other hand i do get annoyed when parents have a yearly hoilday without the children. I think a holiday is a family thing where as a honeymoon is something a little more special. I don't know why i have that view but i do and we have never been away without DS apart from the honeymoon, he is now 7 ( in fact our last night out as a couple was last march )

thighsmadeofcheddar · 06/02/2010 17:32

god no, go and enjoy yourselves minus kids. What lovely in-laws!

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 06/02/2010 17:33

My DS1 is from a previous relationship and it will be the first time we've been completly without children for more than a weekend. Of course I'm torn about it, and part of me wants to take them with, but we won't get the chance again. I'm feeling even more guilty now though after the reactions we've been getting.

OP posts:
Boys2mam · 06/02/2010 17:33

No I don't think YABU.

Its fab that you have someone happy to have such small children for a week for you , go have fun and relax. As morethan said, its a one-off special reason.

Pikelit · 06/02/2010 17:36

YABU. Take the chance to have the only holiday you are likely to get without the children. Revel in being a couple for just a little while , it is your honeymoon after all.

Pikelit · 06/02/2010 17:36

Sorry that should read YANBU !

TrillianAstra · 06/02/2010 17:45

If you would enjoy it, then go. My parents went on honeymoon when I was about 3 and my brother was 6 months (I think - assuming they had their honeymoon close to when they got married). We stayed with my gran. AFAIK it was fine.

Mumcentreplus · 06/02/2010 17:49

YANBU go for it!!..I didnt take my DD (she was 7 months at the time and it was my first time being away from her) it was 4 days but i could have done a week..enjoy

tootiredtothink · 06/02/2010 17:50

YANBU - Go, your dcs will be nicely spoilt rotten and won't even realise you have gone

shelleylou · 06/02/2010 17:53

YANBU, I'm leaving ds with my parents for a week after they offered. Means it will be a honey moon rather than a family holiday. Kids will be spoilt and you can always have a holiday somewhere with them later in the year

belgo · 06/02/2010 17:57

I wouldn't leave my children for that length of time, but if you don't have a problem with it, and your inlaws are happy, then I don't see any problem.

Ziggurat · 06/02/2010 17:59

Go go go!!!

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2010 18:02

go enjoy yourselves and kids will have a fab time with mil+fil

midori1999 · 06/02/2010 19:01

Go!

I think it does children the world of good to spend time away from their parents, tbh, and if they are with their Grandparents, it will be like a little holiday for them too.

DH and I go away yearly without our DC, usually while they 'holiday' at my Grandparents. We do take the children away also though, but usually a UK holiday. It works well because the children don't like long flights, but we like long haul destinations. So, we get our week or two in the sun and DC get their UK holiday somewhere grim for adults (or at least us) but great for kids like Butlins.

I have left the children since DS1 was 5 and DS2 was 6 months. Both are very happy and secure and don't feel left behind at all. However, we are now expecting DC4 and so will probably be sticking to one short haul holiday a year from now on with all the DC, or cruises with all the children and the Grandparents.

Flamesparrow · 06/02/2010 19:10

we left dd1 (2yr then) with my mum.... one of both their best memories

TottWriter · 06/02/2010 19:19

YANBU. A honeymoon is a one-time deal, and it's about you and your DH-to-be. If you don't have time as a couple after you get married, when are you supposed to have it? It's not like you plan on going away like this regularly.

When we can afford it, DP and I plan on doing the same thing - getting married and then leaving our DCs with grandparents. Our budget means that we might only be gone a few days, not a week, but the point stands. Anyone who tells you you shouldn't leave your children with their grandparents is being unreasonable, not you. It's also quite a slight on the grandparents ability to look after children in a way; like they're saying that they don't know how to look after them.

Honestly, I think it's lovely that your PIL have offered to give you this holiday, and you should make the most of it. Even the most content and well-behaved children are a handful at times, and having them there on your honeymoon would spoil the romantic nature of it and turn it into just another holiday.

Out of interest, do the people who think you're unreasonable actually have children of their own?

chocolatespiders · 06/02/2010 19:20

you should def take this opputunity to have some special time together... the people who think you are wrong for this are probably envious... I know i was when my friend went on honeymoon for 2 weeks to maldives... but she deserved the time with her new husband so i def didnt say anything to her about it

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 06/02/2010 20:11

Thank you everyone! Not one YABU!

Yes Tottwriter, all of them have DC's. They're making me feel like I mustn't love my kids as much as they do theirs...as in "I could never leave mine for that long"

OP posts:
ILovePlayingDarts · 06/02/2010 20:28

YANBU, the honeymoon is likely the only holiday without the kids you're likely to have. If me and DP ever decide to get married (well, it's 23 years and counting ), then I would certainly want at least a few days child-free!

heQet · 06/02/2010 20:30

no, it's your honeymoon, that's the holiday where it's the newlyweds and so much sex you walk like John Wayne for a month and he walks round with his todger in an ice bucket!

Let the kids have fun with their grandparents. Go. Enjoy.

EssenceOfJack · 06/02/2010 20:34

Out of curiosity, are the people saying YABU in RL childless or jealous parents?

YAsoNBU. We were supposed ot be going away for a --dirty- weekend this year and leaving DD's with IL's.

Astrid28 · 06/02/2010 20:50

Go for it! Willing and trustworthy in-laws to mind the children - I can see no reason why not.

The people making you feel guilty are prob a tad jealous! X

Astrid28 · 06/02/2010 20:50

Go for it! Willing and trustworthy in-laws to mind the children - I can see no reason why not.

The people making you feel guilty are prob a tad jealous! X

hormonalmum · 06/02/2010 21:04

Please do it! You have the option to do it.
We took dd on our honeymoon (she was 17 months) it was very hard work and we could have done so much more without her there (in the nicest possible way!!)

Dh has a special birthday coming up in next few years and my friend has offered to have children whilst we go away for a long weekend. I am looking forward to it already!!

PrincessBoo · 06/02/2010 21:25

YANBU. We had a familymoon (DS was 20 months) and it was good fun but when he's a bit older we'd love to go away on our own. It was me who was more into DS coming, I thought I'd miss him too much.

We're planning a weekend somewhere soon just the two of us.

Go for it!

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