to be feeling a little sorry for myself?

[EssenceOfJack]

Some of you may know MIL is quite seriously ill in hospital following a stroke.
We stayed up there for 5-6 days straight afterwards, sharing a room with DD's and generally not getting much sleep. I came home a day before DH so he could get a nights sleep before going back to work for a few days.

He was in work for 2 days and has gone back up for the weekend, saw MIl yesterday and then went to a friends for a (large) drink, ringing be while pissed for a chat and a laugh while I sat here on my own with a glass of wine and MN for company.
It is DD1's birthday on monday and I have so far done everything on my own.
I have been doing all the cooking, cleaning and washing for the last few weeks, inlcuding while at his MIL's house for him and other IL's

He is coming back tomorrow morning and then will be at work on monday and tuesday so yet again he has a night out tonight, he has gone out on his bike this avo with his mates from home. I am stuck here as the mechanic has our car.

I am feelign very sorry for myself and slightly pissed off with DH for having all this time to himself when I have been with the DD's constantly and up early every morning now for fricking days.

I don't begrudge him a night out, or time off, but he doesn't seem to have noticed/care that I haven't had a break, and I came on a few days ago so am super hormonal.

Tell him how you feel.

Sorry to read about your mil. I read your thread lat night and wanted to comment but felt I had come to it a bit late. I was going to tell you that my mother had a similar sounding stroke 3 years ago. Lots of details sounded the same, eg the medical staff asking us if she would want to be resuscitated etc. But she made a good recovery. I can't say she is back to how she was before she was ill, but she is able to function fairly well and you would not know she had had a stroke if you did not know her. Hoping for the best for your mil.

Now let your dh know how you feel. He needs to know.

Sorry things are so hard for you at the moment.

I think you need to calmly tell your DH how you feel. If you don't tell him that you need a break he may think you're fine and even that you're happy with things. I think men are quite straightforward but if you don't tell him, he probably won't notice or guess. Hope things improve for you very soon.

Thanks for getting through that extremely self serving selfish rant

I know I need to tell him but then I think I need to suck it up this time as his mum is so ill, he was there when she had her first stroke, and her heart attack a few years later, and he is very, veyr worried about her so I feel he is entitled to let his hair down a bit, but I just want him to come home today so he can get up with the DD's tomorrow!
Whereas he wants to spend time with his family up there.

He hates kids parties so has made sure he is working while it is on, which is fine, we had agreed that but it means all the planning, decorating, cooking, wrapping, buying presents etc etc has been/will be done by me. On my own. Alone. By myself.

You sound really torn between caring about your DH and his needs and also getting a little bit of support for yourself. I don't envy you

Do you have a friend who could come and help you today? Are you normally so good at coping that you find it hard to ask for help or support (I am so I know how hard this can be)? I think you need a little bit of tlc today and if your DH isn't around perhaps one of your friends could pop in and make you a cup of tea/pour you a glass of wine or something?

Aw Belle, that's exactly it! I don't want to make it harder for DH than it is, he has enough on his plate without stressing about me being all hormonal.
TBH all I want is to have a decent night's kip, which means he has to be here so I can get to sleep without worrying about mad axe murderers/zombies/ghosts etc and then not have to get up with the DD's! There's not really anything anyone could do.

I am having cuddles from DD's and have stuck DVD's on as they are both a bit under the weather as well, we all have dodgy bellies which I don't suppose helps (that's why we couldn't go with him, risk of infection)

Ah, let's hope you get a peaceful night. Hope things are better soon. Un-MN hug.

Didn't realise you'd changed your name and this was you. Thought you'd been quiet[not with it emoticon].

Sorry about your Mil, Jack. How awful for you all. The waiting game is such an emotional drain on everyone. I can't really offer anything else advice wise apart from suggesting early baths tonight and get the DDs snuggled up nice and early...you may get a couple of hours to yourself before you fall asleep.

I hope things start to improve soon.

Sorry knotty!
Felt like a change, how did you realise it was me though?!

I won't sleep tonight anyway as he isn't here, and I still have this fricking cough, plus it is my 'heavy' period day which means i will be up every 2 hours to got to the loo.

Told you I was feelingsorry for myself

Just got car back and I should take DD's to park for an hour, but really can't be fucked.

Tis my mystical power [mysterious emoticon]

Yep, you are in a sorry little place. An afternoon on the sofa will do absolutely no harm at all. The park will wait.

Now, how to cheer you up....

You seen[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/897402-It-goes-knives-forks-spoons-knives-f orks-spoons this thread?]]

Very silly.

argh

Forgot to preview.

Put those creative fingers to work and make one of these?

Eh?

I use a mooncup tho!

Rang my mum earlier for a weepchat which helped.
Texted dh and said 'call me when you have a gap in your busy schedule!'
Reply, 'why, what's wrong' ffs, nothing's wrong, apart from dd2 weeing in 3 pairs of knickers and falling down last 2 stairs and dd1 having dodgy belly + telling me my food tastes of dead socks , i just wanted a fucking CHAT!

page down

how do they know?

at the cup cosy. WTF would you?!

I have just spoken to DH and burst into tears while on the phone with lots of incoherent
..kids...and period..andtired....DD2 potty....DD1 not well...not fair... and sniffling.
I think he got the idea
He is back tomorrow afternoon, first it was tonight, then tomorrow first thing, which is what eh promised DD's and now it's the afternoon. Not happy.
Am thinking of taking girls to see Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs tomorrow at teh Vue Kids showing as their first cinema trip though for a change. Either that or carboot sale!

Appreciate the efforts BTW, I am just uber weepy today for some reason, which is really not like me. I think it has just been building for so long!

And enough with the cats!

Jack, we all get the occasional crappy day, tis the way of things. Hope tomorrow is better. Carboot sounds great, although I could quite happily sit in the cinema munching chocs too.

Can you tell I'm not really a cat person ...allergic see.

I can't decide!
I don't have loads of money, cinema is a fiver before popcorn and drinks, but then carboot might cost that much or more....carboot will tire them out more and we can veg for rest of day, but they've never been to the cinema and it could be a birthday treat for dd1, but it would be me coping with both dd's on my own...
Or I could take them to see planet 51 next weekend and make dh come too.....

Aaaaaaagh, whens bedtime again?