to sit my daughters down and tell them that dieting is like dancing with the devil

[Ivykaty44]

and to never ever "diet"

If they find that they are weighing heavy to look at how much they are actually eating and make sure it is around 1900 calories a day and eventually they will find their shape alters.

I don't ever want either of them to "diet" and I want them to know it is not good or healthy and it is an idustry only for making money.

They are 11 and 17

I don't think I am

I agree with all your sentiments, but not sure though if they will listen to you at all - so might not have the effect you want. Possibly your words may come back to them later when they are ready to hear them!
I know Paul McKenna says dieting makes you fat, and I do agree with him. From old diaries I know I was dieting at 11.
Actually I wouldn't even tell them to count calories - just get lots of exercise and don't eat if you're not genuinely hungry.

I'll come round and talk to them if you like. That'll scare them off diets Seriously, I have been dieting constantly since I was 13, having been told by family that I was fat (I wasn't, pictures of me are lovely and totally normal weight). 25 years later I am a size 20/22 and still struggling to make any headway. I try not to blame outside factors for the amount of food I shovel into my gob, but if I lay the blame at any other door, it's dieting. It's more or less ruined my life.

Not unreasonable to want to say this, but you may be U to expect them to learn from your experience. I think a good incentive to not diet would be to emphasise that in dieting you are putting your body in starvation mode, which will slow your metabolism down, so as soon as you go back to a regular calorie intake you will actually end up heavier than you were in the first place. I suspect at that age that kind of persuasion may work better. Girls will almost inevitably go through a period, however short, of wanting to be skinny - I'm dreading having to watch dd go through this. My mum had a fantastically healthy attitude towards food, I've always been slim, yet I still spent years feeling that I needed to lose a few pounds.

Do you have particular concerns about either of them now? My reservation would be that if either of them is sensitive about her weight she might take it that you are implying that they might think need to diet (if that makes sense).

Agree with Pixie about dropping it into conversation, too - very sensible advice.

Dieting fucks you up. I can send you some photos if you like. I started "dieting" when I was around 15, by the time I was 25 I was 140kgs.

Both my girls are slim and tall - the 11 year old is coming home from school with all sorts of stuff, ex will this particular food make me fat if I eat it, oh my legs are big they are bigger than x

x is 8" shorter and tiny compared to dd2 who is well over 5ft and swims three times a week - I mean front crwal and well over 3km total all week and hockey, along with cross country and running at the weekeend.

i have explained that as she is doing over 5 hours a week, there is no way she will get eat food and it will make her fat...

I am coming to the conclusion that school and medai are impressing on them to eat less and deit so they don't become obesse.

ahh

God, it just makes you want to scream doesn't it? I guess the best thing you can do is keep reinforcing positive messages, and if possible find women who are considered attractive/sexy who have a similar build to her and explain that there are so many factors that go towards making a person attractive. Maybe ask her what she thinks is attractive about the people she admires. In physical terms, is it their hair, what they wear, etc., and what else (non-physical attributes) does she think add to their attractiveness... Might go some way to demonstrating that it takes all sorts...

thing is I have a friend who has done this - starvation diet, then lose one stone. Then put on one and a half stone. Then starve and lose one stone and a half. Then put it all back on and more each time. I don't see her often so not a problem to either dd inthat way

When it is reinforced as ok by tv, newspapers and then I want to scream. dd1 is not as impressionable but dd2 is really noticing and thinking this is ok when woman eat a little on the tv and lose weight - that is what makes me want to scream

it is not normal to eat only a little for 6 weeks then scoff your face

No it isn't. So . Sounds as if your dd2 is quite sporty (and competitive?). Quite often this can go hand in hand with being quite driven (and a perfectionist) in other ways - weight issues often affect girls like this. I'm no expert, but had a few girlfriends with quite serious issues, so know a bit about it. Certainly don't mean to worry you - it sounds like you're very aware of the dangers, and getting to her early, so I'm sure it will just be a phase. Maybe you could co-opt your older girl if you think she might be more likely to listen to her (what do mums know, after all .

All good advice.

To support what Daisyj has said, I was told as a teenager (I'm 34 now) about body going into starvation mode when you diet and then putting on more weight when you eat normally.

I have always believed this and so have never dieted. I will put on weight if I eat crap so every now and again I cut it out.

At the moment I am pregnant so am enjoying watching my body get bigger.

Mum's can be so influential, advice can stay forever so yes I'd say continue with your wise words.

yama I was told about the starvation thing too and I believed that. I've never dieted - if I get a bit chubby I just eat less and try to get more exercise and the weight soon drops off. I'm not skinny either though - I'm a curvy 12.

I think the idea of dropping this kind of thing into conversation and asking the 17 year old to help is good. I would be worried about the anti-obese message getting out of hand too. We can't win, can we?

My understanding is that the best way to teach your children to have a healthy attitude towards food is to have one yourself. Children brought up by parents who don't diet, just eat well and enough are much more likely to have a healthy attitude to food.

If your children have a healthy diet, and are active and healthy and the right sort of weight for their height/activity levels then I guess it's just about making sure that they feel comfortable in themselves, that they know when they are hungry and need to eat/drink, and when they don't. Learning to listen to your body is really important IMO.

If your dd is into competitive sport, then learning about nutrition in that context might work - learning what sort of eating habits lead to better results will probably make more sense/sink in more. My dh got into bodybuilding a while back, and read loads of nutrition stuff (some rather extreme) and there is some really sensible stuff there. I think it's more important that children learn about the link between what you eat, how much exercise you take and how you feel in yourself than just the healthy eating line. Much easier to keep your weight/shape stable through exercise (which makes you feel and look better in any case) than through dieting, and much more forgiving of the occasional blow out too.

Well I certainly wouldn´t sit them down & make an issue of something that may not be an issue for them iyswim.

So for that I would say YABU.