to not want my 3yr old DD to have a play date?

[pradasgirl]

Sorry for the ramble, could just do with others peoples thoughts

DD1 is 3 yrs old (nearly 4)and goes 3 mornings a week to a nursery. She is 'best friends' with a little chap there and is desperate for him to come to play. She wants me to leave a note in his jacket for his mum asking for a play date.

I have no problem with this, however i would be uneasy about the likely 'invite in return'

I know nothing of the little boy and his family and have never seen his parents as he stays all day when i pick her up at lunch. From what i have seen he looks to be a well dressed smart little fella but i just have never had the chance to meet mum or dad.

I did think about inviting him over and asking if mum or dad wanted to come for an hour also for a coffee, but thought that might be a little weird for them, seeing as we have never met, and i am not the most chatty when around people i dont know!)
The obvious answer would be to leave the idea alone, however as DS1 always has his best friend over and is 2 yrs older, shes not letting this go and is quite upset over the whole thing, and me constantly putting the thing off.

Whilst im sure she would be fine,and we would exchange numbers and addresses(and i accept that little chaps parents could also be freaking out about my offer!) i am feelng that it would be sooo irrepsonsible to let her go to someones house where im sure she would be safe, just not knowing (and you never can) and being only 3 would she have to ability to say if something happended she was not comfortable with or worse.

Just wondering what you would do.

I would invite him and his parents either to your house or out to soft play or whatever to meet them first.

Right, first of all you need to take a breath.

At that age, most parents do stay at playdates - that's just the way it is.

I'm wondering when he could come to your house as it looks like both his parents work full-time (if he's at nursery all day). So how would he get collected from your house - unless you want him there all afternoon after you pick up your dd?

Finally, if you don't want it to happen just tell your dd that she's too young. In 2 years time she'll be able to do it. End of story.

I would put a note in the boy's bag saying that she talks about him and really enjoys his company and would he like to come and play. At 3, parents virtually always accompany on playdates.

My DS is nearly 4 and I've had a couple of kids over (with their mums) for playdates - I don't really understand the problem - you wouldn't be releasing your child into someone elses care and neither would the boy's parents.

My DS has enjoyed it very much.

oh and put your email address on the note as it can be easier to arrange

Invite them to soft play at the weekend. That way the kids can play and you and the other mum can suss each other out chat over a cuppa.

This means you're able to escape easily should you wish.

I agree that soft play is a good option, I found it difficult when my dd's started going on playdates, and now at 8 and 10 they are always asking if they can have playdates and sleepovers.

Message withdrawn

It is hard to set up playdates if you don't know the parents.

I work 4 days a week and DS aged 3.10 is very friendly with a lovely little boy who lives beside the childminders and goes to the same nursery.

Basically I sent them a note with my details and said DS would like to have their DS round for a play date. I left it quite open ended so if the mum had wanted to stay for coffee she could have done, but she was quite happy to drop her DS off and we have reciprocated a couple of times as well.

Have to say it is so much easier than just looking after DS as they completely amuse themselves and I'm just required to dispense snacks/lunch and ensure hands are washed.

It did feel a bit awkward making the first step, but now it's done it is fab and DS is learning good social skills like sharing and behaving as well.

Like someone says, soft play is a good option, or maybe suggest their DS comes round and she stays for a coffee as your DD is a little unsettled in new places. Sews the seed for you to do the same thing if situation reversed.