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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be scared of the dark?

16 replies

AKMD · 05/02/2010 11:55

DC1 is due in 5 weeks and I am more worried about getting up in the middle of the night than I am about labour. Do I need to/can I just 'grow up'?

OP posts:

heQet · 05/02/2010 11:57

What are you afraid of? I mean, I know 'the dark' but what exactly is it about the dark that frightens you?

Sometimes it helps to think through your fears logically. break it down rather than keep it as The Dark, iyswim.

belgo · 05/02/2010 11:58

have the baby in your bedroom, and get night lights.

Original poster

AKMD · 05/02/2010 12:08

Due to incredibly inappropriate reading (Point Horror and that kind of rubbish) and horror films at girly sleepovers, I developed quite severe paranoid depression as an early teen. After years of intensive counselling I'm pretty well over that now, although I still can't watch or read anything with even the mildest horror/creepy suspense element without ending up as a hysterical wreck, but I still get very nervous about making sure that the house is secure, nothing behind curtains, cupboards checked etc. and have to wake up DH if I need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night (he is not thrilled that the baby is now fully engaged!). I am really hoping that once DC arrives maternal instinct will override everything, but I'm also worried that it won't and I will be too scared to get up to look after the baby. Night-lights, baby in room won't cut it unfortunately.

(Lost point of AIBU, sorry, try again... AIBU to be worried about something so minor when I will have a baby who is completely dependent on me?

OP posts:

fernie3 · 05/02/2010 12:14

YANBU to be afraid of something (I cry and have panic attacks if I seem a worm of maggot - even if its no where near me). I normally have the baby right next to the bed, if you are breastfeeding there is no need to get out of bed at all, if you are bottlefeeding then I think it would be reasonable to ask your husband to get you a bottle and you feed the baby. WOuld not getting out of bed help or is it just being awake thats the problem? I put the tv on in the bedroom when I am feeding mine would it help to have some noise etc?

theminniebobble · 05/02/2010 12:30

I am frightened of the dark too although not as severely as the OP. We always sleep with the landing light on and the bedroom door open.

It means that we don't need a night light for DS (5 weeks) and I'm not scared doing night feeds etc. My DH is fine with it and always has been.

It is refreshing to hear that I'm not the only one who's scared of the dark as a "grown up". WHen I'm working away and staying in hotels I have to sleep with light on. It's also embarrassing staying at friends' houses. I don't really want to pass on this irrational fear to DS though.

pranma · 05/02/2010 12:35

I have always been scared of the dark-at college I slept with the light on every night for 3 years.Now we use those plug in night lights they have a soft blueish light and we have them in all hallways.I am ok in bed if dh is there but if not I get absolutely petrified and have to leave bedside light on.I especially hate seeing the dark through a crack in the curtains or looking from light into dark.The darkness outside is even worse as it is so big.I'm a sad old git I know [65].

MrsMontague · 05/02/2010 12:49

Another one here!

I am too scared of the dark...always have to have landing light on and bedroom door open. We recently got a cat and so had to have bedroom door shut as DD is still in with us, and I had to sleep with the lamp on. Luckily DH doesn't mind. I also have to wake him up if I need a drink from downstairs etc.

pranma i know exactly what you mean about it being worse looking out at darkness, I won't go in the kitchen/dining room at night without the blinds down as I HATE windows at night, I don't know why but it's the whole not being able to see anyone who might be out there, just my own reflection.

It is nothing to be embarrassed about OP, it's no different from being scared of spiders or heights, people just have fears. I hope you manage to cope happily when your little one arrives!

GhoulsAreLoud · 05/02/2010 12:51

Put the light on?

aluvss · 05/02/2010 13:00

AKMD - I am exactly the same as you pint horror at a young age and horror movies as well.

I have a 3yrold DD and in the night when she gets up i run to her and run back, because im scared sometings going to snatch me from the stairs!!

But I was worse before but I have got a lot stronger after having my DD.

scaryteacher · 05/02/2010 13:24

I am scared of the dark as well. I used to have nightlights plugged in on the landing and in ds's room so I could get downstairs and heat a bottle without waking dh up.

Ds now 14 and I am still scared - when dh is away I sleep with the landing light on. What is nice about living in Belgium is that the house has external security shutters which close from indoors, and when it's dark outside, I just drop all the shutters and nothing can get to me.

I am seriously thinking of having them installed on my house in the UK when I get back. They are great insulators as well.

Original poster

AKMD · 05/02/2010 13:28

I am so glad I'm not the only 'grown up' who is still scared of the dark

I second what a few people said - putting lights on doesn't help very much as it's almost worse looking from light into dark and then having to wait for my vision to adjust than it is just to stay in the dark.

I'm sure I'll find a way round it, it's just an extra worry.

OP posts:

bruffin · 05/02/2010 13:33

I have always been scared of the dark as well, but I do go through phases and now it doesn't bother me so much if DH is there but if he is away I sometimes have the light on. We have dimmer switches in all the bedrooms.
I still catch my breath for a short moment why I turn off the light in the hallway if everybody else is asleep.

I used to be petriefied of flushing the toilet at night as well, no idea why.

PorphyrophillicPixie · 05/02/2010 14:01

Oh, YANBU! I watched something about a group of women caving in unchartered caves and I was freaked out for weeks. I also have terrible panic attacks if I am unsure where the nearest loo is or am a fair distance from one.

Just to let you know that you aren't the only one with 'irrational' fears!

FrameyMcFrame · 05/02/2010 14:08

YANBU,
BUt, I think once your baby is here and you have been through the expirience of bringing a new life in to the world your perspectives will change.

I was terribly afraid of spiders before I was a Mum but I honestly don't mind them now, I just pick them up and put them outside whereas once I would have been in tears and shaking.
I don't know why this is, growing up?
REalising you are the adult now and others depend on you, you can't afford to be scared of the small issues anymore.

FrameyMcFrame · 05/02/2010 14:23

Also, I was very aware of not passing on my fears to my children. If every time I saw a spider I screamed, DD and DS would be lumbered with a phobia too and I really didn't want that.

I think you'll be fine, pregnanacy often makes things like this feel worse.

Triggles · 05/02/2010 16:55

I've never liked the dark, and it's still something that bothers me. I keep a flashlight near the bed for late night feeds. It's one of those rechargeable ones that can sit upright, as well, so it's actually great for bringing into the baby's room and setting on the dresser during the feed, as it gives off some light, but doesn't light up the room and wake the baby. It also means I don't have to turn the light on in the hallway outside our 3yo's bedroom, because if I did, he'd wake up in an instant, as he sleeps with the door open (always has, just likes it open).

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