to want to flick my sister for saying I should have ironed DH's shirts

[assumetheposition]

My husband started a new job this week which involved a training course. He has been out of work for 3 months.

On Sunday morning, I always have the morning to myself. Dh takes the boys out and I generally stay in bed until 10, get up, have a shower BY MYSELF and get dressed, all in one go without anybody asking me a question.

As DS2 is waking a lot in the night and I'm averaging about 5 hours a night during the week this is sacred.

Anyway, I rang my sister on Sunday morning to ask if she would be in in the afternoon as we were going to pop round. I told her DH needed to get his things together for his training course, iron his shirts etc and I would leave him in peace.

She was going out.

Anyway, apparently she went on at my niece for ages afterwards about how outrageous it was that I hadn't ironed DHs shirts for him that morning instead of laying in bed and how unfair I was to make him do it.

Now, I will add that I did actually iron his shirts in the end anyway as DH took them to his Dad's instead, leaving just me and Silent Witness. So it's not like I object in principle to helping him out.

I would also add that DH has NEVER got up to DS2 in the night.

DH didn't mind the prospect of ironing his own shirts although did ask me very nicely if I would do them for him.

Anyway, now I've written this all down it sounds incredibly petty but I'm going to press post anyway as I am disproportionately insensed!

Some days DH goes to work and I stay at home and look after our children. On those days, if I have time, I will do the housework.

Other days, we both work and we pay someone to look after our children (sadly we don't pay someone to do the housework too).

When neither of us work (evenings and weekends) we share looking after the children and the household tasks (cooking, shopping, washing up, ironing).

It infuriates me that people think that a man can work full time and still manage to look after himself before he has children, but once you do he suddenly needs everything done for him.

YANBU, your sister is mental. And petty or not, I'd be pissed off by this too!

I'm a bit mystified by those who NEVER iron for their partner though, too.

If I'm ironing, I check if anyone else wants something ironing, and DH does the same. Surely in a family you just pitch in? I think going so far as to refuse point blank is just as petty, tbh.

Great post fruitstick, that's exactly how my family works! 50/50 division of all labour. My Dh is a SAHD, but I don't expect that to mean he does all of the housework, just as much as he can when I'm at work. Weekends/days off etc, we share the load equally. No resentment, everyone gets a sit down at the end of the day!

I took DD on a playdate the other day, 3 other mums there and they spent an hour discussing irons and ironing. I played with the kids. I went to the loo. I made the tea. It was still going on so I made my excuses and we left.