to think that being in night time nappies at 4 1/2 is normal?

[BigWeeHag]

DS1 has been having some assessments and things. I hadn't even considered this as a problem, but he still wears a nappy at night (has to be a proper nappy or nappy pants, pull ups get drowned.) Several professionals have gone about it though.

I don't see any point in "training" him when he needs changed during the night and is soaking in the morning. He's only out of day nappies 3 months.

So, AIBU, is it actually unusual/ bad parenting?

YANBU it's normal

GPs dont' refer children to the bedwetting clinic until 7 years old at the earliest as it's so common for children to wet at a young age.

You can't train a child to be dry at night, they have to be ready.

YANBU, perfectly normal.

Not bad parenting.

Don't know what age children are dry at night 'on average'. All mine have been dry at night from very early on (two and a half) - nothing to do with my parenting - just think they're 'wired' that way.

Are you bothered? Is your DS bothered by not being dry at night yet?

Not bothered at all, although it would be nice not to have to change him in the night! But no hassle really. And he does not care at all, so no worries there.

Normal in the circle of friends we have here - it was my DS1 who decided to toilet train at night rather than us.

yanbu my daughter was out of night nappies at 3. My son who is now nearly three and a half still wears nappies in the day let alone at night. I REALLY doesnt like the toilet or potty. It depends on the child they do it when they are ready.

That should be HE doesnt like the toilet. I use it day and night

Normal - you can't 'train' them...there are things you can do to help along the way, but it is, as someone said, largely to do with 'wiring'. And if professionals are making you feel like this point them at the ERIC website and tell them to get their facts straight!

YANBU

They're ready to be dry at night when they're ready. Their physiology is what it is.

Don't sweat it

They're all different, aren't they. My DD was dry during the day and night at 2yr 9m. A good friend's DD is still in night nappies at 5yr 6mon, SILs DS dry at night at 2. just depends.

I don't know anyone who had their child still in nappies at this age. However, all my friends were made through sending DD to a nursery where the toilet training regime was stunning.

I didn't really have to do anything in the potty training line. DD just "went dry" at 2.

But they are all different.

When I was a nanny I had a 4 yo and she went to the loo at 6pm (bed time) and at 10pm her mum would lift her up (the child was still asleep) and put her on the toilet, where she did a wee, and then she was put back into bed.

That was abroad, so they might have different views, I don't know anyone here who lifts their child up for a wee in their sleep!

Miggsie that is exactly what my parents did for my sister. Suspect sister now uses same method on her 3yo!

YANBU - I have seen in the shops recently night nappies for children up to 15 years of age.

Don't sweat it.

YANBU. Lts of children are not dry at night at this age. It is very much normal.

Agree with others that you can't train for nighttime dryness. It just happens for the majority of children, usually by the age of 7/8y. For some children it happens earlier. All are fine.

DS was dry during the day by 2.5, but he still wears pull ups at bedtime and will be 5 in 6 weeks! I tried lots of different things but he is just not ready so I have stopped worrying for now.

I worried about this- dd1 was dry at night at 2.5, after wetting the bed once, but dd2 is, like your son, 4 1/2 and still wearing nighttime nappies (or special pants, as she prefers to call them)When I tried taking her out of them, she wet the bed and slept on. I tried lifting her before we went to bed, but even then I often found her sleeping in a wet bed. She WANTS her special pants to be dry in the morning, and is disappointed to find them wet (most days!) so I know it isn't a question of laziness.

I did a bit of reading, and apparently we produce a hormone, ADH, in greater quantities at night, which concentrates the urine more efficiently, meaning the bladder doesn't get so full overnight. Children start producing this hormone at different ages, and until they do, nothing you can do. I was told that if they are still not dry overnight by aged 7 sometimes they can be given the hormone artificially, but most children are dry by then. They also seem to think there can be a family trait- my DH still remembers wetting the bed regularly (and getting into trouble for it!) as a small child.

FWIW, I think you're doing the right thing being relaxed about it. My DH (who should know better, given his own experience of hiding under the bed in fear when he had wet it!!) occasionally makes comments to dd2 along the lines of "you shouldn't need those silly special pants any more!" (grrrr!) I try not to make a big deal out of it. She comes to me in the morning, and asks if the pants are wet or dry- when I have to tell her they are a bit wet, she gets very deflated, but I just shrug and tell her not to worry- they'll be dry every night soon. I know what you mean- friends and relatives alike pass comment on the fact she is still in night-nappies, which winds me up!!

Miggsie - day and night dryness are very different and, IMO and IME, you can do day tiume toilet training, but not nighttime.

Lifting is counter productive in most cases.

Restricting liquids can also make matetrs worse, although avoiding juice, etc (we found anything bar water) is a good idea once you pass tea time.

DD was dry, through her own choice and wit little input from me, at 24 months old - in the day. At 6y she was still having accidents at night. She is now 7.5y and IIRR has only had one accident in the past year. Fingers crossed.

DD was desperate to be dry at night. She refused nappies after 4y so we had some reuseable bed mats instead. She gradually got more and more reliable from 4y onwards. Nothing we did made any real difference though, but it was not a case of not wanting to, or her being lazy, etc. She just couldn't do it. It really upset her at times, and was upsetting for us to see her bothered by it. She had been so determined at 24m for day training and did it retty much onher own, but night time was a whole different matter. But she got there eventually, as do the cast majority of children.

We lifted DS1 for a wee for the first few weeks until he got mad at us. He regularly gets up to pee on his own now (small bladdered family - I'm up every night and always have been).

also can run in families....(I blame dp )

YANBU it is normal, lots of kids wear them and no it doesn`t mean there is anything wrong with them. My DS2 is 6 (one of a twin) and wears pull ups (bed pants he calls them) to bed. DD2 (his twin) has never had any problems at night.
He has been seen by an enuretic clinic as he has problems with his day time wetting. For this they have cut out anything with caffeine in it and blackcurrant as both diuretics and irritate the bladder.

As for night time wetting I have tried lifting him when I go to bed (having already gone when he went to bed) and he is still soaked by 1am. This appoarch worked fine for my eldest and my other two a didnt have to do anything with. Ive been told not to cut down on drinks at night as this defeats the object. DC wont receieve the message that the bladder is full if there is nothing to fill it and can do the kidneys more harm than good.

My clinic wont do anything about his bed wetting until 6.5 or 7yrs and least. In the mean time he continues to get out of bed in the morning take his pants off and put them in the bin. No one takes any notice now unless on the rare occasion he tells me they are dry (only happened once or twice) or like to day he has flooded and we have to take the bed clothes and everything off.
Weve tried without but its not fair on him getting wet everynight or being woken by me when I`ve found him lying in a wet bed.

Dont stress over it. I ended up in tears with my HV over it because I was convinced he was lazy etc. How wrong was I. Just ask yourself how many adults you know who still wet the bed. Your child will not be doing this into adulthood so let it go. It will stop when he is good any ready.

Not average, but totally normal. My DS1 wasn't dry at night till 8 - we had super help from the enuresis nurse who made him feel totally relaxed and in control about it - it does run in families as it turns out DP was also not dry till 7 or 8. My other DCS however were both dry at night by 3. It is what is, nothing the child can do about it, so don't fret or worry, but do consider talking to the GP for any checks or advice they can offer.