To exclude (ex)FriendA?

[Allets]

I am friends with FriendA and FriendB. FriendA is great fun, but very needy, quite self absorbed and very quick to take, take, take.

FriendA introduced me to FriendB about 18 months ago. FriendB is the polar opposite of FriendA.

About a year ago, FriendA and I were shopping. She saw a few designer things that she liked in the sales but was short of cash so I offered to allow her to use my storecard - on the proviso that she paid it off within the 3 months interest free period.

Subsequently she has paid me a bit of the money back - she used 300 quid and has paid me back 50. So in December, I came right out and asked her to settle the bill (having paid the interest on it for 7/8 months). She turned around and said I had a cheek for asking her to pay the money back as she had given me some second hand boys clothes (fair enough - lovely things, but I never, ever asked for them - indeed I didn't really want them as I was pushed for cupboard space, but took the things to be polite). I responded that I didn't think her passing on second hand things to the children constituted a repayment of the debt. After a heated exchange, she grudgingly agreed to pay the account immediately - surprise, surprise, 2 months later, not ONE penny! There have been many things over the past six months which have made me question our friendship but this has really, really pissed me off and made it difficult for me to maintain a friendship.

So here is where I may or may not be being unreasonable:

I would dearly love to just distance myself from FriendA entirely, but that would mean losing my friendship with FriendB (they are fairly inseparable).

I have invited FriendB around for a BBQ on Saturday - her DH is in hospital and it was her birthday yesterday, so I'd like to do something nice for her, but I just don't want to spend time with FriendA.

Would IBU if I only invited FriendB? Or would it be entirely reasonable?

Should add that DH is so pissed off with FriendA about the money that it's always very uncomfortable when she's around because the atmostphere is arctic.

Ho hum?

I have had an email back - which was quite civil.

She says she will pay it from her child support when she is paid on the 9/01 and if she can ask the rugby club registrar to accept a late payment of rugby subs (which are due this week). A lot of things to try and tempt me to feel sorry for her. I just merrily ignored all of this and reiterated that I'd like the payment by the due date with interest.

Irony is, is that our boys aren't doing rugby this year because we can't afford the subs (approx. 200quid). I think she was hoping I might say that she could pay after rugby subs, but I'll be damned if I am going to continue paying 22% interest on her debt whilst my boys miss out.

PS: if you are wondering why we are bbq'ing in Feb and playing rugby in June, that's because I live in Australia. The money she owes me is all in dollars but I've put down the pound value on here.

I meant 09/02

Stick to your guns, Allets. Crap friend. Best of luck with the bbq - those of us over here in the chilly UK are all very jealous!

Allets, glad to hear you are getting this sorted - you go girl!
No idea what time it is there - probably in the middle of the night - but any sign of the moolah yet?

Also v jealous of your sunny BBQ weather .

"Irony is, is that our boys aren't doing rugby this year because we can't afford the subs (approx. 200quid). I think she was hoping I might say that she could pay after rugby subs, but I'll be damned if I am going to continue paying 22% interest on her debt whilst my boys miss out."

That is the next thing to point out to her.

But your boys would have been able to go to rugby if she had paid you the money when she was meant to.

If it wasn't now such an awkward situation, I would have suggested she pay your boys subs and then give you the rest in cash.

Allets, don't feel a single pang of anything for her. TBH she shouldn't have bought the designer stuff in the first place...

Your boys are indeed not playing rugby this year because she stole the money from them...

Exactly what WingedVictory said...

Allets, please come back on 09/02 and let us know if you've got the dosh!

That would be the end of any friendship I had! What a horrid women taking advantage like that

I hope she does give you the money and the interest.

I'll keep you all posted. We saw her at swimclub this evening. It was civil but there was a definite chill.

DH was next to her when she was paying somebody else money back, so it must be a bit of a theme.

ho hum.

Surely she couldn't allow herself be seen paying money back to someone else and not to you!

Fingers crossed..... I do love to see the unjust slammed . There is too much of the opposite in life. Has anyone ever heard this rhyme:

The rain, it raineth on the just
And also on the unjust fella
But chiefly on the just
Because the unjust steals the just's umbrella!

Hey WingedVictory,

That's one of my favourite poems!

It's set to a tune, as well, PlanetEarth!

WV, that rhyme is fabulous.

Story. of. my. life.

Yes, it's better than those crappy homilies about making lemonade if life gives you lemons. Ugh, ugh, ugh, who is fooled by that sort of rubbish? Sometimes things are unfair, and we should be bloody annoyed instead of accepting and philisophical!

(apologies, I seem to be counselling anger this evening, if you look at the threads on my profile! ). Still, we are hanging about on AIBU, which is Daily Mail Mumsnet, innit?