to worry that going into hospital is going to kill my poor old dad

[standandeliver]

Been in there since Friday. He's 80, suffering from heart failure and this is his first stay in hospital for about 40 years. He went in eating, drinking and walking (slowly). I went in to see him today and am shocked by how bad he looks. They aren't checking how much he's drinking, and are just dumping his food on his table and walking away. If we're not there to feed him and cajole him into drinking then what?

I had to work so hard at not crying at the hospital - he looked so sad and frail. I'm crying now.

I just want him to come home. They're not doing anything for him there, and it's horrible for him.

why is he there? what sort of ward is he on?

can you visit more often, take in tempting drinks?

my dad had heart failure and has made a very good recovery, younger than yours though.

I'm so sorry to hear that standandeliver

Are you able to sort out a little rota of people to spend time with him during the day, to set your minds at rest if nothing else?

Also, remember the nurses and drs do not have to like you - if you don't feel your dad is being cared for properly, kick up about it. Question them, ask for more to be done. Don't worry about being unpopular, you're not there to impress them just to ensure they do what is needed with your dad. Now is the time when he needs you to be his advocate and say what he is too unwell to say. I know it's hard because it's an emotional time and hard to speak out without crying - but I think you can and should do it Good luck.

He's on an acute medical ward (I think that's what they call it). Some quite sick people there, but not high dependency or anything.

Visiting hours are 2 - 7. I'd like to go in the morning because I have to be back at 3 to pick the kids up. The hospital is an hour's drive from my home, but if I could visit in the morning then my mum could come in the afternoon, and my sister or brother could come early evening.

I hate leaving him there alone.

Glad your dad has made a good recovery.

I want at least another decade with my dad. Hope they can do something for him.

Firstly I would have a quiet word with the ward manager about the issues you have highlighted

If you get no joy I would then ask for the number of the PALS service,in fact whilst you discuss the issues with the manager you could drop this into the conversation.

(PALS is the patient advisory liason service and each hosdspital has one,they act as a sort of adjudicator and look at patient. complaints)

Wards ARE very busy (mine is lol) but not assisting someone with food /fluids who is unable to manage isn't on really.

Hope things improve

Cirrhosis - my mum is quite good, but she's a bit flummoxed by the sheer number of doctors my dad has seen, and their seeming inability to give her a clear idea of what's actually going on with him and how they intend to treat him.

Sister is also bossy, as is my brother.

As far as we understand he's there for diagnostic reasons - it can't be more than that as they don't seem to be treating him.

The lack of decent nursing care is bloody shite. I feel as though we can complain as much as we like, but ignoring old people who aren't making a fuss or asking for attention is part of the culture of the hospital. Actually it's probably part of the culture of this country.

Thank you Mavis - my mum and sister and I will have to work out a plan of action tomorrow.

oh it is so scary too, i didn't mean to be curt there.

drugs seem to be quite effective and fairly quick acting so hopefully he will be improved soon. talk to hospital, tell them your worries.