To do up DD's room as a birthday "present"

[redskyatnight]

DD's 4th birthday is coming up. There is nothing she desperately wants and we are still swimming in Christmas presents.

So I have come up with the idea that as a birthday present we will paint her room (currently creams and browns from when we decorated pre-DC) a suitable girly pink, and accessorise with new curtains, duvet cover, lamp shade, rug, bean bag, wall decorations etc etc.

DH thinks this is mean because

1. he thinks a little girl should get toys for a present
2. we were planning to do her room later this year anyway.

I think that

1. DD will love her new room
2. She will get loads of toys from family/friends
3. There is nothing (toy wise) that she specially wants and don't see the point of buying stuff for the sake of it
4. If we promise to do her bedroom for her birthday it will actually get done (DH and I very good at putting off decorating jobs)
5. If we just did her room in the normal run of things she would probably get new curtains and maybe the odd other thing or too, but we wouldn't go as wholesale on all the accessories as I'm planning to (so she would get them over time rather than all at once).

So, no pressure but DD's birthday hangs in the balance here.

AIBU to think that a new girly room is a lovely present for a 4 year old?

Nope - I still disagree with you, General. Why on earth would a lovely new bedroom prove that life is 'a disappointment' - sorry but I really don't get that.

Dd2 wanted a blanket and a hot water bottle when she was about that age, so that is what she got!

Maureen - the black bag is a brilliant idea.

I'm with you janeite - I don't think it has to be a toy for a four year old to appreciate a gift. Why would she not be totally excited and pleased and grateful to have a lovely new room - you'd have to be pretty spoilt not to like this, even at 4.

And she's even going to be getting stuff to open from other people

Don't see how any of this would be giving her a lesson in life's disappointments - blimey!

BuckBuckMcFate - No idea, ours is Disney with cinderella on and she adored it, she moved on when 5 to loving a blanket type sleeping bag that can be a pillow too, which is a lovely diseny pink.

Lifes dissapointments - my arse!

Oh do it, it sounds lovely.

let her be involved as well, I bet she'd love that

General doing up a bedroom as about more than just painting walls. Its about lovely accessories in the room too, if the dd is into say Dora, having Dora duvet cover, Dora curtains, Dora bin etc, if I was 4 years old again and my mum and dad did that for my room in Hello Kitty (30 years ago), I would be well made up. You do not have to have one physical presents to unwrap, but a lovely decorated room in the desired theme with nice accessories can be great. The op might want to get a little present for the dd to unwrap, mabey something nice that can be put into her room.

One of the highlights of my 5 year old life was my Mr Man wallpaper

Themed accessories do not have to cost the earth, places like Poundstretcher, QS, Amazon or E bay can have discounted themed stuff.

OOOh Coldtits Mr Men wallpaper remember it well I had a Padington bear light shade

we've done this for both our children - meant I was happy to buy the character duvet/curtains they wanted, instead of plain ones that would last longer, as it was their present. We did pictures, fairylights etc as well as the stickers, duvets etc

Lovely idea. Is there a little something she can open so that she still "unwraps" things?

Or Maureen's idea sounds nice...

I think it sounds like a wonderful present but then I see birthdays as celebrating a person for simply being who they are as opposed to being clever/good at maths/a talented musician/helpful older sibling etc. so I'd think that anything that contributes to the 'you're special because you are you' feeling would be a good present.

Finding out if there's anything special she would like in her room in terms of a specific item/theme/colour and being able to include that would make it extra perfect. My 5-year-old has quite definite ideas about the things she likes but gets excited about anything new in her bedroom - we gave her a Charlie and Lola bin for her 4th birthday! Mind you, this year she was thrilled with the knickers that grandparents gave her for her 5th!

We did this for our DD as part of her x'mas presents, she had picked out the stuff she wanted, we looked online and when she said ooh I'd love my room with that in it or thats georgeous we got it and shuftied it away. She spent a couple of nights at grannys and when she came back we surprised her with a lovely new room. It was a bit of a shock for her, she had no idea, all she said was "its lovely but I liked my old room too". She doesn't like change much but she does really love it and hasn't slept in her old room since or asked too (we left it as it was for her just in case).

So I think it's a fab pressy as others have said she will still have birthday presents as well but I would say if your DD is like mine and doesn't adapt to change very well get her used to the idea first.

I think it is a wonderful idea, but I would definitely want to give an element of surprise to the day. So even if she picks out colours etc, it would be nice to have things that she hasn't seen and do a big 'unveiling' as someone else suggested. I don't see any reason why it would be a disappointment, I think a 4-year old's face would light up just as much for a magical new room as it would unwrapping a lovely new present.

We did this for DS1 for his 13th birthday. He was away on a school trip and came back to a 'teenage' bedroom. He loved it.

You will get it done, will spend a bit a money and actually approach it as a proper project if you do it for her birthday.

Who wouldn't like their bedroom done? I had it done for me as a suprise and we did it for DD1 as a suprise. But the OP is thinking of spending her DDs birthday money on doing house maintenence and palming it off as a birthday present.

She's not even doing it just because she thinks her DD would like it as a birthday present, she's doing it cos she can't be bothered doing her decorating normally, and they were planning on doing it later on in the year anyway!

The OP must know that it'd be pretty tight to do this for her DDs birthday, or why would she be seeking reassurance and approval from other people who've done it for their childrens birthdays on here?

A super idea,could she stay with grandma for a couple of days so you could do it as a surprise?Even if not its still a lovely idea[maybe new pjs wrapped up].

YANBU, my best friend has just done her DS room for his 3rd birthday. He wanted a Tom and Jerry room. They shipped him out to her MIL for a full day and night whilst they painted the room and stuck his new border on, put up his curtains, new bed and duvet covers and set up his toy box and light shade. They videoed him seeing his room for the first time and he screamed with delight for about 5 mins and was sooo excited. My friend cried with joy at his reaction.

YANBU Sounds absolutely lovely: a special gift that real thought and love has gone into rather than some bit of plastic tat!

great idea I did it for my DD, she loved it and I wrapped up a couple of surprise items to open on the day.

I think it is nice.

Can she not know somehow so it is a suprise on the day? Anyway of making her room out of bounds and have a big ribbon on the day to cut open on the morning of her birthday?

You could always wrap up a couple of extra bits too, such as a pretty lamp, new cushion, pretty photo frame set, new rug, a small matching cover for her doll's bed, etc. that she can go and add on the day

As a doting Nan who bought a lovely bedspread for DGD's 4th birthday and is ordering Sonic quilt for 6 year old DGS next week I think it's a great idea.
Children love to be involved in choosing colour schemes, themes etc. I think they learn that parents have limited incomes and can't meet every want they express.
Didn't hurt me when I was stuck oop chimbley, and it won't hurt them!!

My DD had a suprise bedroom done for her (by me) when we moved to our new house. She was 3y and she was so excited and pleased when she saw it.

If you don;t want her to know you are doing it in advance but still want her input then plan it as a pretend make believe gme, on paper. Get her to pretend she planning her new room and say what colours and themes she wants.

BUT, imo, for it to be a present - it does need to be her choice of bedroom. So, imo, you have to be prepared to have a character theme, etc.

I used to fantasise about getting this as a present, when I was a primary school kid. Seriously. I used to write little stories where the parents did a surprise pretty room up as a birthday present.

It sounds beautiful.