Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to be scared to death by ds minor surgery?

42 replies

doesntplaywellwithothers · 02/02/2010 08:22

My DS, aged 3.5 is having his tonsils out at the end of March. It will be such a relief for him, as his tonsils are constantly swollen, his night breathing is terrible, he does get sick with some regularity, etc. However, I am a wreck. All I can think of is every complication that could happen, and especially, that he could die. I KNOW that much of this is completely irrational, and I'm worrying myself silly over it...I think worry is normal, but I get upset EVERY time I think about it. I also know that I am a bit PFB about him, and that he really will feel so much better after this surgery.

I just need to know I'm not crazy for getting myself in such a twist over this...

OP posts:

chegirlsgotheartburn · 02/02/2010 10:42

YANBU AT ALL.

You poor thing.

Of course you are going to worry.

I should be very laid back about anything minor. I know the difference between serious and routine. Theoretically I should approach every medical appointment with a casualness boardering on benign neglect!

But I dont, I am a mess and get myself into a right old two and eight.

Your DS will be absolutly fine and probably enjoy the whole thing hugely due to the amount of attention and special treatment he will get.

Take lots of magazines and an Ipod thingy. Keep yourself busy and be very organised. These things help.

bouncingblueberries · 02/02/2010 10:47

YANBU!

I had my tonsils out 8 months ago and it was the worst pain I have ever experienced. Far, far worse than the ring of fire or even being stitched after giving birth. It was miserable. Children bounce back so much faster.

When ds was 18 months he had a very small operation to remove a tiny piece of glass from his hand - I was a physical and emotional wreck despite seeing lots of other parents with very poorly babies on the ward. I just couldn't put it into perspective at all.

Perfectly normal and natural reaction I reckon.

TheSmallClanger · 02/02/2010 10:49

YANBU at all to worry, it is normal and natural.

A couple of my friends' children have had tonsils out, and one had the full ENT job done (tonsils/adenoids/gromits) in one go. Their quality of life improved dramatically straight away and they recovered very quickly.
Use his recovery period as a nice time for lots of cuddles and treats and try to look forward to that.

ChippingIn · 02/02/2010 11:52

Midorri - bloody hell - any chance you could run a class in 'not worrying' - you'd be oversubscribed I'm sure!

Original poster

doesntplaywellwithothers · 02/02/2010 12:10

I know, Midorri...WOW...I need that trait!!
I AM trying to focus on the after bit...the cuddles and lots of treats, lots of DVDs, books and all that kind of stuff...it does help me to worry a bit less, if I just don't think about the actual surgery.

OP posts:

2rebecca · 02/02/2010 12:41

A tonsillectomy is a routine operation but it isn't minor.

Tee2072 · 02/02/2010 12:56

Its your job to worry!

My DS had GA about 2 months ago so they could do an MRI on him. I was worried spitless until the anaesthesiologist said to me 'Yes, there is a risk that he will have an allergic reaction to the anaesthesiology, but in my 30 years doing this? It has never happened. So long as his tummy is empty (which it was, of course) there is really no risk.'

Made me feel so.much.better.

And the cutest thing ever? A 6.5 month old waking up from that deep of a sleep! Oh the yawns and the eye rubbing and the wiggling! Not that I wish GA on my son, but it was cute!

mumoverseas · 02/02/2010 15:02

YANBU. I'm in the same boat in that my DS1 is undergoing surgery RIGHT NOW and I'm 3,000 miles away.
He is 16 at boarding school in the UK and is having to have 3 impacted teeth removed under a GA. I know he is almost an adult but he is still my baby and I feel so very guilty that I'm not there for him I'm sitting by the phone waiting for the call to say that he has come out of surgery but no idea how long it will take

BigWeeHag · 02/02/2010 15:14

Hi, my DS1 (P2ndB) had his adenoids done 4 weeks ago. Yes, it's minor, yes, worse things happen to other children every day, but it is worrying and difficult.

I found watching/ holding him while the anaesthetic was administered really difficult, and he reacted slightly oddly to the morphine (sat bolt upright and screamed for an hour, the nurse kept saying they usually sleep.)

But he was totally fine, in and out in a day, would have been back to school a week later but he got an infection. He is starting to sleep through the night which he had never done before, and he is mouth breathing less. . Worth doing, neccessary - but not easy. So YANBU.

Original poster

doesntplaywellwithothers · 02/02/2010 18:20

mumoverseas...really big hugs to you right now!! I hope you've had the call to say that your 'baby' is just fine!!

I don't think I can do the holding while he goes under the GA...I think DH will have to do it...the thought of that just sends me over the edge...

OP posts:

Pozzled · 02/02/2010 20:15

YANBU- it is really scary, but I am sure he will be absolutely fine. My DD needed minor surgery under GA in December, she was 15 months so at least she didn't get scared about it- but I was panicking. With us it was a sudden thing though, so we'd only had about a day to get used to the idea. It was scary but I think it was better that way as we didn't have time to think about it much.

But I agree with Tee2072- they're so cute when they come round. I went down to see her and she seemed to be sleeping quite deeply. The nurse said 'Oh look here's mummy' and she sat bolt upright, looked at me, and then lay back down as if to say 'oh, it's ok now that mummy's here'.

mumoverseas · 03/02/2010 03:02

doesn'tplaywell, thank you. After a long wait I finally got a text to say that 'he is out of surgery and dozy and not talkative but that is normal' I've not been able to speak to him as by the time he was released and driven back to his boarding school it would have been very late and imagine he just wanted to go to bed.
I just got up early in the hope he'd managed to email me when he got back but sadly not.

It is very hard when little ones have surgery. When my DD (now 13) was 14 months old she underwent two operations to remove a lump from her throat and I remember my ex DH and I having to hold her down whilst they put the little mask over her face to give her the GA and she was hysterical and thrashing around. It was awful and I found myself thinking about it a lot yesterday.

Puzzled, your DD sounds so cute

Original poster

doesntplaywellwithothers · 03/02/2010 10:54

mumoverseas...so glad to hear your ds is okay...I hope you hear from him really soon!

Pozzled, that is too cute...

I did feel a little better last night after this...I managed to actually look at DS while thinking about the surgery, and I didn't go all teary and weird like I've been doing...LOL....I guess that's a step in the right direction!!

OP posts:

mumoverseas · 03/02/2010 11:53

doesntplaywell, your DS will be fine. We are mothers though and it is our job to worry

GothAnneGeddes · 03/02/2010 12:21

YANBU, Just as everyone said.

However, to everyone mentioning ice cream, they actually recommend that toast is the first thing eaten post op as it helps clear the throat of any possible infection.

But ice cream is lovely for afterwards.

Original poster

doesntplaywellwithothers · 03/02/2010 12:42

Yes, Goth...Dr actually told us to feed him as we normally would in the days after, or all the yucky stuff in his throat post-op doesn't get 'cleaned away'. So, I'm just going to plan to make small bits of his favourites, with plenty of lovely ice cream for pudding!

OP posts:

Original poster

doesntplaywellwithothers · 28/03/2010 19:33

Hi All...
I just wanted to pop back to say that my DS had the operation last Monday, and he did fantastic. A little freaked out by the anesthetic when he first woke up, but was fine after some sleep. He's been a bit of a wimp all week...the drama of being poorly, but overall, he's recovering, and I feel so much better.

Thanks to all of you who replied...just thought I'd let you all know that I appreciated the reassurance!

OP posts:

Flip

1 2