to have a midlife crisis at 26...

[puddinmama]

Hi

first post in this section but I need some honest and if you like brutal opinions

so am gonna be 26 at the end of this month, and I feel like I have hit the most awful rut in my life, I am finishing a degree with the ou with the hope of going on to do a pgce, I also have 2 children and a husband who I have been married to for 9 years yes you read right since I was 17, I have no friends they have all moved away, and these days I have become a vampire novel addict and have an awful celebrity crush on jensen ackles who plays dean winchester from supernatural, I spend all my free time daydreaming about him, omg I can't believe I am even writting this, its ok if you laugh I am kinda laughing at this myself, I just don't have any love for life in me, most of all i think am bored and dh thinks we have the perfect life and perfect marriage which we seriously dont as if we did shouldnt I be happier than this, or is it a case of 'this is as good as it gets'. I have thought that maybe i should get a divorce but for what reason would I be divorcing my husband he hasnt really done anything wrong infact I think most people would say I was mad to even think about it, I just dont know where to begin with anything right now...maybe all i need is a good kick

apologise for awful grammar and spelling 3 yr old whinging in front of me...

I had a midlife crisis at 25. Had been married for a year, stuck in a dead end job, had a mortgage for a house that I didn't want to live in and felt that I hadn't achieved anything.

Dh and I went through a bit of a rough patch eventually we jacked in our jobs, sold the house and went backpacking for a year. When we came back things were 100% better than before. Our relationship was more exciting, I got stuck into my career and we bought a nice apartment that didn't cost the earth and enabled us to have the "life" that we had missed out on in our early twenties.

I'm not suggesting that you jack everything in, it isn't that easy when you have children. It sounds like you are stuck in a rut, can you write a list of all the things that get you down and a solution for them. If you are bored at home can you retrain for a career? If you have the funds give yourself and your dh a treat every 3 months, book yourselfs a table at a swanky restaurant and get yourself all dressed up for your "date". If you want to travel, start by buying a tent and taking the kids off for an adventure in the summer.

Forget about things that you can't have (celebrities etc) and concentrate on real adventures that you can make happen.

I think it is a common mid twenties thing - you seem to have this grown up life and still feel so young. Rather than looking at it as being stuck in a rut, think of how much you have achieved - an Ou degree is so demanding it and achieving it whilst having 2 small children is even more admirable! you say you are going to start a pgce course - perhaps when you atart doing this, going out and meeting more people, these feelings will pass. good luck!!

Haha have you sound like me! I had a whinge on here about being bored with my grannie life (Im 23) yesterday. The result? Just went and had my tongue pierced!
Do something crazy, new haircut, book a uber cool holiday, paint your room, anything to 'change' normal life for a while x

Hi

Thanks for all of the replies, it means alot to me right now, packing everything in isnt really an option due to lack of funds, and if I dont get this degree we will always be skint as neither of us will ever be able to get decent jobs, yes I do agree I feel like I have such a grown up life and still feel about 17, and when I look in the mirror i just see a tired washed out 17 yr old looking back, and I cant stand to think that when I am 36 that will be another 10 years of my life gone probably doing the same sort of stuff, kids, house, study or job by then I hope.

my husband is also really bugging me as well its like omg am gonna be with him until i die, is it normal to feel like that, and I also feel like we have no life together.

oh god what am I suppose to do, I just want to be happy with what I have..