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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be seriously, seriously pissed off with this?!

16 replies

Disenchanted3 · 01/02/2010 11:35

My sister is 19.

Shes a good girl, goes to college but has a lot of fun too as you should at 19!

Shes had serious boyfriends, not so serious boyfriends.

Anyway my aunt and gran were going on about her face book saying ,maybe someon should ahve a word with her' etc ...

I just looked and shes changed her preferences to interested in 'men and women'

and now shes 'in a relationship' with a girl.

Thats noones buisness but her own and AIBU to think shes got every right to make this common knowledge??

If it were a new boyfriend noone would bat an eyelid but because shes seeing a girl she should 'keep it to herself?!'

Im going to see my aunt later on and I hope she doesn't start the same with me, expecting me to agree with her because I will be more than clear letting her know I don not!

OP posts:
Blu · 01/02/2010 11:39

YANBU.

Tell your aunt and gran to wind their necks in.

But...I am unsure why everyone / anyone posts their personal business all over a public forum for everyone to discuss anyway .

compo · 01/02/2010 11:39

yanbu

you go girl!!

gingernutlover · 01/02/2010 11:39

YANBU to think it's her right to make it common knowldge thats she is bisexual

SHE IBU to think no one will ahve an opinion on this. Facebook is public, if you chose to put info on their it becomes public knowledge. She obviously doesn't mind this but they are entitled to their opinion.

PMSL at "having a word with her" though! Whate xactly do they want someone to say to her?

TootaLaFruit · 01/02/2010 11:42

Sounds like a generational thing to me - your aunt and gran are probably more from a time where these things 'weren't done', but we are living in the here and now, and they shouldn't say anything to your niece.

It's their problem, not hers (or yours). If you find out that they have said something to her, then maybe give her a call and let her know that the whole family doesn't feel the same., and that she should ignore the old ditties

Owls · 01/02/2010 11:42

Well presumably "Gran" is quite a bit older? She may well be a bit shocked tbh. Different generation, etc.

Think you are BU to be [mad] with them. A quiet word and a smile that she has the right to choose who to be with would go down better I think.

junglist1 · 01/02/2010 11:42

YANBU at all! Good luck to her. Anyone who wants to keep it a secret must be embarrased about it, and should be educated.

Owls · 01/02/2010 11:44

whoops should be sorry

JaneS · 01/02/2010 11:52

Good for you standing up for her. I'm bisexual and my parents would prefer if I didn't mention it and I HATE that! They think there's 'no need' and although I am head over heels about my (male) partner, it does irritate me that they assume I've 'got over that phase'.

They spend about ten years when every time I had a girlfriend they tacitly ignored it and every time we split up they'd act as if it was a complete aberration and expect me to go find a nice bloke. Grrrr!

JaneS · 01/02/2010 11:53

*spent

Lovesdogsandcats · 01/02/2010 12:00

Well it could be the latest thing of them all putting their best mate as 'in a relatinship with'...they also put other mates as 'parents' and 'siblings'.

if its not that, whose business is it anyway?

BigBadMummy · 01/02/2010 12:10

A really good friend of mine (who I lost touch with until she found me again via FB a couple of months ago) has told me she has been in a relationship with a woman for four years.

Fabulous.

We have had a long discussion though about how much more difficult it is for lesbians rather than gay men to come out. It makes headline news when its a female newsreader "coming out".

My friend can't admit it on her FB page because of people's prejudices still so it is great (and refreshing that your sister can).

A shame that your mum and gran are not so accepting but that is a generational thing, I am sure.

Have they met your sister's girlfriend?

And yay you for being upset about this IYSWIM. It is great that you care and are cross about people's reactions to her sexuality.

NinthWave · 01/02/2010 12:14

And the moral of the story is...don't add your Nan on Facebook

Seriously, YANBU. Good for her for making it public - I had a relationship with a girl when I was a teenager, and for 6 months was too scared to tell anyone except close schoold friends and my mum. I wish I'd been braver.

Chil1234 · 01/02/2010 12:23

Your sister is an adult and within her rights to have a relationship with whoever she sees fit. But other family members are entitled to express their feelings, caution her ..... disagree, even. Sexuality seems to be the red-herring on the table at the moment but, when you're part of a family, your choice of partner (much as you'd like it to be) is never just your business alone.

JustAnotherManicMummy · 01/02/2010 12:32

Are they wanting to have a word about the method your sister's chosen to come out? That I can understand

But if they're planning to talk her out of bi-sexuality/lesbianism they're wasting their time.

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 01/02/2010 18:48

Hi, have since found out that they thought someone should have a word with her as other less immediate family members are on her face book. My grans sisters daughters etc. Thats all that was said so I assume that they found it embaressing for her to say such things and it be viewed by them

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 01/02/2010 19:28

I agree that your other female relatives sound very narrow-minded.

But is it just me finds this sentence a bit odd:

"Thats noones buisness but her own and AIBU to think shes got every right to make this common knowledge??"

Isn't that kind of contradictory?

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