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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be amazed how grown up some girls look.

29 replies

GothDetective · 01/02/2010 11:27

I was in the Build A Bear workshop with DD yesterday. DD is 8 and quite small for her age. Infront of us were 2 girls the same height as DD so really couldn't have been much older, I'd have said 8 or 9.

They both had highlighted, straightened hair, high heels (shoeboots), full make up, very trendy clothes, handbags and mobiles. Is this normal?

My DD's a bit of a tomboy and was there in her trackie bottoms and crocs. Part of me worried that she looked a bit scruffy next to them but she is clean, hair brushed and clean clothes so not really scruffy. Then I thought I'm glad she's still a kid and not worried about her appearance in such a way.

Have I got it all to come though and she will be demanding GHDs for her 9th birthday?

OP posts:
EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 01/02/2010 11:29

i have never seen children like this

TheFirstLady · 01/02/2010 11:36

My eldest DD is 12 and some of her classmates (though not her own friends) have been like this from 11 or so. But not 8 or 9, no! Depends on where you live, perhaps, we are in semi-rural area, perhaps urban 9 year olds are more sophisticated. They are only going to be a small minority though - even at 12 most of DD's friends, like her, are jeans and trainers kind of girls.

Original poster
GothDetective · 01/02/2010 11:39

Yes we live in rural area but we'd gone to a big city an hour away so agree it could be more of an urban thing.

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/02/2010 11:39

I see grown up looking girls of about dd's age. I think it is sad that they feel the need for make up (I've seen some aimed at 7 year olds) . DD is pretty much disinterested in what she wears and as long as she looks clean and tidy, so am I.

mummyloveslucy · 01/02/2010 11:59

I do think it's sad when you see little girls like this. What is the world comming to? (I'm starting to sound like my mother) I saw a little girl once of about 4 or 5 with high heeled boots,tight fitting mini skirt and a t-shirt saying something like 100% gorgeous or something like that. I do think it's bad that shops sell high heels aimed at young children, and It's not good that clothes are the same for 5 year olds as 15 year olds in most shops. It makes it very hard to get clothes for 5 year olds that look like clothes suitable for 5 year olds.

Miggsie · 01/02/2010 12:14

Yes, I have seen girls in the local playground looking for somewhere to put their handbags, ipods and mobiles so they can go on the swings...looks plain wrong to me, they are only 8 or so.

And don't get me started on the girls taking handbags to school and the girl in DD's class with bleached hair...in yr2

YANBU!

GooseyLoosey · 01/02/2010 12:23

I don't think we all have the same idea as to what too grown up is though. I recently sent my 5 year old daughter to a party dressed in this and was told that she looked too grown up. How do you judge?

sowhatis · 01/02/2010 12:26

id say for 5yo that was lovely goosey. agree you see alot of girls out there dressed terribly for their age. but its upto the parents. i wouldnt do it. but i dont have girls personally, so cant say if they were pressuring the parents!

Romanarama · 01/02/2010 12:28

I've never seen anything like that. I would be astonished. little girls with nail varnish and so on just for fun, yes, but highlights?! And letting children wear high heels just seems rather irresponsible, can't be good for growing bones, surely.

That patchwork tunic is lovely goosey

CirrhosisByTheSea · 01/02/2010 12:32

how bizarre, Goosey - that looks a very appropriate and practical outfit for a 5 year old, can't imagine how you could call that too grown up. Maybe the person meant it was fashionable rather than simply a little frilly party dress - do people even wear those any more (only have a boy!)

Girls looking for somewhere to put their bags, ipods etc so they can play in a park is just sad and wrong! and so is make up/highlighted hair etc for 8 year olds.

Have to say in my own experience I just haven't seen this more than very exceptionally - have seen literally only one or two kids dressed in silly tight skirts/high heeled boots. Feel very sorry for them but it doesn't appear to be a pattern - just the odd very silly parent here and there, imo

Original poster
GothDetective · 01/02/2010 12:33

Goosey - I would say that tunic is fine. However if it was combines with (I'm sure your DD wasn't), high heels, a load of slap, highlights then the whole ensemble would be way too grown up.

OP posts:
sophieandbelly · 01/02/2010 12:44

i agree some mothers let their daughters dress like tarts!! awful they have yrs ahead to think about what clothes makeup etc to wear,
imo its the mums a bit of play make up ok at home but letting ur daughter dress yrs above her age is terrible it will encourage alot of unwanted and unapproiate attension.

i am a hairdresser and have had mothers with kids as younge as 6 asking to do highlights (i of course said no) but one of the other techs did it

lematthedogs · 01/02/2010 12:57

Goosey, i love that tunic - i nearly bought one for DD who is four. HOW on earth did people percieve that as too old?

Runoutofideas · 01/02/2010 14:20

Was this the sort of thing? They sell this for age 3 up. I wouldn't dream of letting a child under teenage wear this. www.next.co.uk/shopping/girls/oldergirls/5/5

majafa · 01/02/2010 14:20

I helped out in a year 5 class for while, 1 boy had bleached/highlighted hair, (ginger underneath when the roots needed doing) Mum also had bleached hair too, plus the full works make up wise, and dressed up to the nines for the school run.
I guess it takes all sorts

majafa · 01/02/2010 14:21

Oh and I love the tunic too, if I had girls, thats the sort of thing Id go for..

majafa · 01/02/2010 14:24

My 11 yr old wants his hair highlighted
Me: Why do you want your hair highlighted?
son: coz its cool.. duh
Me:

GooseyLoosey · 01/02/2010 14:24

Lol at being combined with highheels. Dd would break her neck. It was worn with Kickers and an unruly mop of hair.

Oddly the party she went to turned out to be a make-up party and dd was bewildered by the whole thing. She was the only girl who came away with no eye shadow or lip gloss on. I was a bit taken aback tbh.

GooseyLoosey · 01/02/2010 14:25

Runoutofideas - I would never buy that in a month of sundays.

RatherBeOnThePiste · 01/02/2010 14:26

DD is at school with someone who has had highlights since 11, but have never known anyone younger. 11 came as a shock to me!

mowcop · 01/02/2010 14:33

It's a shame when they grow up so young, but it surely must be partly due to parental input (or lack of). My eldest is 6 and she is obsessed with slap and nail varnish, which I think is fine. However, she is also devoted to her joggers and isn't at all interested in clothes unless they are comfy.

Looking around a lot of shops for clothes that would fit (she wears an age 8) I am often shocked by the sort of thing they sell in her size. I really fail to see how clothes that are suitable for a 15/16 year old are also appropriate for a 6 year old.

FranSanDisco · 01/02/2010 14:33

I am starting to become aware of this now dd is 9 yo. She reports that girls in her class wear bra vest things and not m&s vests for girls like she has . I said when she has some boobs we'll talk about it. There is always eye shadow at soft play and heels! Next week she has a make over party to go to where they get nails painted - I can live with that. There is also much debate about whether you are a tom boy or a girlie girl. The former being preferable which seems to contradict the make-up trend. Gosh it's difficult being a child.

Mermaidspam · 01/02/2010 14:38

Little girl in our street had her hair bleached last summer - she was 7

iheartdusty · 01/02/2010 14:44

link to MN campaign idea about not making little girls look sexy here

dixiechick1975 · 01/02/2010 14:57

I do think part of the problem is the way girls clothes are sold in shops. The younger girls clothes stop at age 5 meaning 5 and 6 year olds are in the same clothes as teenagers. How can that be right?

eg George stops at age 4-5, Next 4-5. M & S seem to be the exception going uto 6-7 in younger girls.

My just four year old is very tall and needs age 6-7 for summer you can imagine the fun i'm having trying to find suitable things.

I use ebay alot and the nicer age appropriate things always seem to attract alot of bids so I can't be the only mum wanting more suitable clothes.