to get fed up with people remarking on my figure

[Irishchic]

DH and I had a family gathering last night to celebrate his Uncle's 90th birthday. Some of his cousins were there, I find them hard to take at times, they are quite ignorant, nosey, ill bred, and they would be quite snobby too.

They are in their 50's with grown up children. They and their children (8 in all)turned up and hour late for the meal. One of them said to me, "your outfit is lovely, but you are way to thin," and tut tutted off with herself.

FFS I am 40 with 5 young kids, i never sit down all day running around after them. I am nearly 5ft 10 and a size 10 so yes I am pretty slim, but I eat like a horse, I just can't gain weight. I wish I could, but at the moment life is so hectic i just burn it off.

The point is, I am sick of people who hardly know you yet feel they have a right to talk about your weight. You wouldnt say to someone, "you're a bit on the pudgy side go an lose a few pounds" yet people seem to think its ok to say it to you if you are thin.

It's not. It's rude. AIBU?

Nickschick LOVE that line, that would have shut her up!!

YANBU
I am overweight and people vary rarely comment, however I have very thin friends who are always being criticised for being too thin!

As a result they have poor body image and feel unfeminine.

I once picked DH up on this as he made a comment to a colleague of his at a social function about how thin she was and she looked upset. He had never considered that it could be upsetting!

come on nikita it's hardly the worst thing that's ever been said, is it?

"I'm so fed up with people commenting on how willowy and slender I am all the time"
"How rude"
"Especially as it is effortless whilst mothering my 5 children"

I don't think that it is the same as people being told they are overweight btw. Being slim or thin is seen as something that is socially desireable.
The vast majority of overweight poeple are subjected to much worse commentary on their weight, eating habits and clothing.

But amongst family and an older crowd they do think everyone's weight is free comment either because they are socially inept, are doing it because they "love" you, or truly have no idea that it might be hurtful.

I always thought as we grew older we became happier in our own skin and accepted our own and other's foibles.

You know you aren't too thin. You know they are older, potentially socially gauche individuals
Where's the problem?

I get my gran squeezing my arm telling me I could do with losing a few pounds, my sister gets her saying that she could do with putting on a few. My gran is blind fwiw. It pisses both of us off.

Some older relatives feel the need to comment. RonaldMcDonald - are you very overweight and jealous of thin people? Because your lack of empathy is a bit off.

yes, I am the size of two houses or one southfork style mansion

I must be to hold such views

When I was a teenager it was my boobs my Gran and aunts would comment on, can you imagine room full of relatives, one aunt remarks "oh SK you've got more than a handful there haven't you!?" I didn't even have that big boobs either. Cue everyone turning round looking at me.

MIL asked me about 2 months after DD2 was born what the doctor had said "what about?" I asked, "your weight loss!" erm I was about a size 10 at the time.

Relatives!!!

yabu. I get the same comments & it would never occur to me 2 be offended. So many people struggle with their weight after 40 you may yet be one of them it's just normal innocuous family chitchat. Don't be so bleedin' sensitive about it.

I just don't agree with the OP

I think that people comment freely on each other at all times and we owe ourselves a responsibility to grow a skin sufficiently thick enough to deal with it.
I don't think this is that bad I'm afraid especially as comment from people described by the OP as ignorant, nosey, ill bred and snobby

i get sick of people talking to my 32f chest, would love to be flatter and able to run properly without pain, totally agree Cece.can relate to what you are saying Nikita.

jajas then you would have been stooping to her level....however tempting it must have been

I'm sort of with Ronald on this one. Sorry. It must be shit to be 5'10" and size 10 .

But yes, people are rude to comment on people's looks however fat/thin/whatever you are.

Commenting on anyone's weight or appearanace in a derogatory way is ill-mannered. Whether they are thin or fat is not the issue. It's just plain rude to make negative comments about someone's appearance, even if they're a member of your family.

Most people don't do this. It's rude. Presumably they're only saying it because they're fat. Presumably you either go with the polite answer of not saying anything or you say - gosh you're fat. Would you like me to help you get down to a healthy size 10. I'm siz 10 but 5 foot 5 but no one I know ever comments on my weight. I think even family members know it's not the polite thing anyone should do to anyone else... except I suppose small children who hurl insults at each other all the time.