DP, school play, and works night out

[KimiLivesInStarbucks]

Right ladies a vote is needed.

DS1 is in his year 9 school play, has one of the lead parts and has worked really hard learning it all, (he is in the AS and has the people skills of a dead fish so I am really really proud he has done so well)
We are all going to watch it on Thursday, me, his dad, his brother, DP and DPs parents who are coming from Cornwall (visit coincides nicely vith the play)

So far so good, now DP tells me that on Thursday he will be going to Dorset (he has just started a new job and the offices are based there although he works from home 99% of the time) as one of his new colleagues is getting married and they are having a night out, he feels he has to go so as to meet everyone.
(this from a man who worked with his last colleagues for years and could not tell you the first thing about them )

So the upshot is....he will miss the play and I have to play host to his parents all on my own from Thursday night till Friday night when he gets home, (I have to say his parents are the most lovely people and no trouble to look after).

DP has also agreed to go and see DS1s play on Wednesday night so as to support DS1 and not miss the play.

He seems to think IABU to be a bit cross, and I know I am really but I said I would put it to the mumsnet vote.

Was IBU to be disappointed that he will not be coming with us on the Thursday.

Be kind please

Sorry, but I'm with your DP. He won't miss the play - he'll just see it on a different night. I can see why it would feel important to meet his new colleagues and to at least appear like he cares about them. And his parents are not hard work, by your own admission.

But he probably owes you anyway . Can you negotiate having Saturday all to yourself?

I have to point out that a top up on my starbucks card rests on the outcome of who IBU (although I know I am )

I agree with Hassled. This way your DS will have someone watching him two times.

I also agree with Hassled about the last bit of her post

hmm, if a new colleague told me that they missed their child's play, and their parents visit, to go to a work party, then I would be .
I'm with you op - there will be plenty of other opportunities for him to meet people.

agree hassled

Oh well then, seeing as you put it like that and for mn solidarity and all that of course yanbu! (But you know you are a bit but I can see why!!!!)

yabu Don't see the issue tbh. Lots of kids won't have whole family there at once for all sorts of reasons. Can pil not come a day earlier if they are the real reason you are cross?

Looks like I am paying for my own coffee

I agree with MamaG

I'm with Kimi.

You aren't unreasonable to be disappointed that you won't be going as a family unit, especially as his family have made the effort to come up to see their son and he won't be there. Actually, bloody rude of him especially as he's known for ages the day their coming?

Thank you diff

Won't it be nicer for your son to have family watching him on 2 nights rather than just one? What would your son prefer?

DS1 is happy hw will have support both nights.
I said from the start I was BU but I am a bit disappointed.

Also I am a bit at DP suddenly finding the new people he works with so interesting.

Also he is a silly sod when he has had a drink and I don't want him to show him self up he is having to stay with one of his new colleagues although he now says nothing concrete for staying over is arranged, so if he has to splash out £££££££ I will be fuming as we are flat out broke

YANBU there will be other opportunities for him to meet the people he doesnt see all year. Family before work is my vote.

I think it's great that ds gets supported two nights in a row.

Hwr, if dp is spending money you don't have on this night out, that's a separate issue.

Just a thought does your dh get on well with his parents and his brother and enjoy them coming to stay?

I suppose DP is making an effort by going Wednesday.

Do think it is a bit inconsiderate considering his parents are visiting.

If he is seeing the play anyway then HINBU but missing his parents visit? VU!

Could you not all go on the Weds together, and DPs parents could go on Thursday if they really wanted to?

This way you could go together as a family and DPs parents will be out of your hair for a bit on the Thursday.

Can not all go on Wednesday as DS2 has cubs and DH1 is cub leader.

DS1 is happy that DP will be going on Wednesday and that me, his dad, his brother and DPs parents (who get on well with my DH1 so no awkwardness there) are all going on Thursday.

DP will see his parents Friday night till Monday when they are heading home.

Dp also topped up my starbucks card so I have forgiven him.

However I will be very cross if he is going to spend a lot of money we do not have, although on the other hand he is the main money maker so I guess he can do as he wishes with his money, we don't go without food, heat or rent being paid so I should not moan really