about this email I have just received out of the blue?

[InThisSequinBraYesYouOlaJordan]

I need to give a bit of background to this.

When I was at Uni, I lived with a girl for three years. In our third year, her boyfriend moved in with us as a house member. Another friend of mine was also living in the house.

It didn't work out (we should have known) and quite frankly became quite acrimonious and resulted in me and my friend moving out - living with that particular couple was not conducive to a Final year.

Anyway, about a year ago I was in our local Mall with DS2 and bumped into a lovely bloke from University who had been good friends with aforesaid girl's boyfriend. It was lovely to see him, we had always got on well, we hugged and chatted etc. The two above came up in conversation, I said I thought that they had got married as I had seen her profile on our University's Facebook page. He said "oh are they on Facebook?" and that was that.

A couple of months ago I was in Sainsburys and bumped into the same bloke, he has just stopped there on his way home to do his shopping, again, we had a very short chat, mainly about the fact that I was buying three bottles of wine and then went on our way.

Today I received a message through Friends Reunited (which I had, frankly, forgotten I was a member of) from my aforesaid friend's boyfriend/husband, and all it said was:

"I hear you met XXXX in the XXXX centre".

Now, is it me, or is that a bit odd? We haven't met or spoken for 16 years and no "hello, how are you?" etc?? I actually feel a bit creeped out (he was always a bit peculiar in a benign sort of way) and I can't understand why someone would send that message out of the blue? Presumably, he and the man I bumped into at the Mall have got back in touch, and he has mentioned seeing me, but isn't that a touch strange as a communication?

Anyway, as I feel so uncomfortable, I have actually deleted my Freinds Reunited account today - I figure that as I don't use it it's no great loss, and he won't be able to contact me again. I'm thinking I might search for him on Facebook and block him too - is that an odd thing for me to do, AIBU?

Very odd indeed and YANBU imo.

It's certainly an odd turn of phrase. No "Hi, how are you?".

I wouldn't even bother looking him up on FB. (Well, maybe if I was feeling uber nosey.)

YANBU though.

After 16 years that is an odd way to start a communication.I wouldnt block him yet on FB though,he cant access your page without your permission he can only send you private messeages which you don't have to reply to.I wouldn't worry about it.

They recently updated the security settings on Facebook so check your privacy settings carefully if you don't want him to see your page - a number of things that used to be automatically private and hidden from anyone you weren't friends with are now public.

YANBU. He has clearly not grown up since uni. Ignore.

agree with emsy - all settings seemed to be set to 'everyone' being able to see your stuff, unless you specifically go into your profile page and choose 'only friends'.

I don't know. Maybe he's just socially awkward. Maybe's trying to start a conversation in a way that he thinks is cool and unconventional. Sometimes all those "hello how are yous" can be so boring.

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and not judge him by one (bad) line. And allow him the chance to have grown up and matured (even if he's still a bit odd). I did things when I was at university that I am not too proud of and would hate it if people still judged me for old stuff and didn't see the lovely, sensible woman I've grown into .

I wouldn't block him or delete him just yet. I would need a lot more than a slightly awkward line on FR. It really does sound like an opening gambit rather than weirdo talk to me.

Thanks for all the advice. I know what you're saying Practical Cat about the awkward social opener - I've also just noticed the mail was sent at 2.20am this morning - so there may have been drink taken as well, I suppose...

It's probably nothing - but nevertheless I won't be responding (I don't think I can if I've deleted my FR account anyway). If he contacts me on Facebook, then I'll deal with it as it happens - although I would have thought if he was going to do that he would have done - isn't FR a bit passe now?

Thanks again!

It is ackward, but to be honest... it is not stuff to be creeped out about, I think you are over reacting.

Sometimes when you have a lot of people in your friends list, that keeping pop in and out all the time, it is easy to forget that you have not talked to them in years. And sending a message past midnight is not an indication of drunkness either. He may be working late or having insomnia, neither of them are indicators of a "dark" life.

That is weird.

Only I am thinking perhaps he doesn't know if you want to speak to him, and that is his way of inviting you to get in touch with him.

Just picking up on you saying he was "a bit peculiar in a benign sort of way" so if he's a little afraid of rejection he's not lost anything by giving you details of what he's doing now.

Although agree it's a socially odd way of contacting an old friend he fell out with.

He may not even remember you have fallen out, it is a long time.

I remember a friend once telling me that he didn't want to invite "A" along as he knew I was angry with her.

First I was shocked, as I didn't remember a problem, and then some way I did, something that happened years and years before that I didn't care about aymore, but how could he know? He had not seen me for ages either...