To force DS to do sport?

[winnybella]

DS will be 8 in a week. He did judo last year and then had a few months break as we moved.
I found a great judo club. DS does not want to go. He is afraid of not being good at it, at getting hurt etc. Thing is, he does not want to do do any other sport either, is scared to learn to ride a bike...
I don't have any ambition to make a great athlete out of him, but I don't think sitting with your DSlite or in front of tv is the way to go either. We live in a city, so I can't just let him go and play outside for few hours to spend some energy and get some fresh air.
I also thought judo is good as it teaches you some self-discipline. He was not bad at it last year, but whined all the time about going, though. He is also the tallest in his class and strong, so any objections are of a psychological nature iyswim.
I feel that if he goes twice a week and sees that he's improving at it ( teacher there seems v.good with kids) it will do wonders for his self-confidence, which he is really, really lacking.
AIBU?

would he prefer something like dancing, or an instrument?

I wouldn't force a child to do extra curricular things they really didn't want to do - it'd be a collossal waste of money, for a start!

Hmmm I agree you can't force someone

What about swimming lessons? At least he's learning a skill then.

yes yabu

you can't force someone to do something they don't enjoy.

Thanks.
Riven, yes we go for walks during the weekend, but we're in the center of Paris, so it's not so easy. We haven't got a car, either.He's not keen on going for walks, either, and it's always a struggle.
Lewisfan, no he's not into dancing or music- in fact he's not into anything except Pokemon and books.
Also,he does not do any other extra-curricular activities and I thought it would do him good, as opposed to him getting more and more entrenched in a fear of doing any physical stuff.

Could you get him to try several different sports (just 1 session) so he would have a better idea of them?

You cannot force him to do a sport but if you gently encourage him to find something he likes it might work?

How about karate? You're much less likely to get hurt doing that than judo, its non-contact for the first few years. DD started it at the same time as a classmate whose dad is an orthopaedic surgeon, he'd treated quite a lot of judo injuries but never anything from karate (if you want some authorititive backup to tell your DS!)

Swimming is also good - especially if you can take a friend so they have fun rather than just boring stroke and length work all the time.

You can be active without sport. My DS1 (18) is ASD and does not "get" competitive sport at all. But he has always loved the outdoors and happily walks the dog etc. At 16 he decided he wanted muscles and now goes to the local gym and works out (a big deal for him). DS2 (16)was useless at sport though he did enjoy karate (not as physical as judo which is wrestling). He is a big sports fan though and spent secondary school playing playground football and goes to matches and watches cricket and rugby etc. So again he is active. DS3 (8) is sport mad and plays rugby tennis football and would do more if he could.

oh and my 2 teens have to walk miles each day to the staion etc.

But you can't force it. If he isn't enjoying it, it is pointless and counterproductive.

If you are in a city there will be heaps of cool classes. My ds1 and dd (10 and 8) have just started a free-running class. My ds1 thinks it is cool.

Wanted to add, if he likes to be on his own (you said he liked books) amybe a sport that does not necessarely involve a team like running, athletism?

Agree, op, I do think it is important that children do an outdoor physical activity.

(I know in my heart of hearts that adults benefit greatly from this, too, but am terrible hypocrite here).

I think you need to keep trying until you find something he enjoys. Ask him what he thinks he might enjoy.

There is nothing more tragic in childhood than staying in, staring at a screen and getting fat. Parents who allow this to happen are letting their dc down imo.

what's free-running?

Frre running also known as Parkour

They don't do it on buildings in their class though!

oh I have HEARD of that but not seen it

looks cool

Their classes are indoors and they are doing lots of gymnastic type stuff.

I think it is just what ds1 needed.

yes also the boys that do this in the park are uber-fit

my mummy friends tell me

what about swimming, hockey, cycling - there are different types of track cyling. ice skating at a rink, would he fancy lessons?

I can imagine

Grimma- that sounds good, DS said a few times he thought karate was cool, but I had imagined that it was more physical than judo...but if you say it's no contact for the first few years.
Parkour is great too, will have a look.

It's not about making him suffer...I just don't want him to grow up to be totally unfit couch potato. Also, sport is great for the mind.

He has a swimming class once a week at school, but it's quite low level, they don't get much time in the water-30 minutes, I think.

I just worry about him being so scared to do anything 'sporty'. I mean he does not want to learn to ride a bike! At 8 yo! Is it just me or something needs to be done about it?

I agree with Mutt

but only on this thread

not the one where she said I was a terrible parent

I insist on swimming too - it's so important as a life-saving skill

is he a bit of a chubber winny because that would influence me TBH

I have a very skinny small thing that doesn't like exercise (although she swims and has a dance class) but I don't push it because she is weedy - obviously we do family walks etc.

she also can't ride a bike, I have TRIED and I love riding but she is just not interested

Hmmm, seems like YOU like it more than he does? I take your point about doing something active, but why does it have to be Judo?

And you know if he got good he would just be wanting to flip you all the time