I'll explain, this may seem trivial to some but it's actually caused me a lot of upset!
Around 15 years ago, we were at my sister's having lunch when a couple of friends of hers called in unexpectedly. I know them as well, and was pleased to see them. We all chatted and they stayed for coffee. They made a real effort with dh, (considering they'd never met him) but he wasn't at his most sociable and completely blanked them, They clearly felt awkward and cut their visit short and I felt awful. I apologised that evening to my sister on the phone, and made sure my dh, (partner then), knew his behaviour wasn't on. He did apologise to me and promised to make more of an effort next time.
Anyway a few years later my mum was out with her friend, (who I've also known years) and mentioned that she may call in with her afterwards, as she'd never met dh and hadn't seen me in a while. DH knew this, we'd had a lovely day out ourselves, but when the doorbell rang he muttered about "having to turn off his tv programme and make small talk". Anyway, I opened the door to them, introduced dh and he just looked away. I insisted they came in and started making coffee, Mum already felt awkward with dh's reaction and as much as I was trying to diffuse the atmosphere they didn't stay long.
I had a right go at dh that night, saying I'd always made the effort with his friends and family, why couldn't he with mine. He readily admits he doesn't like "small talk", he has to have something in common with people or to be actually doing something, watching football with a group etc, to interact. However he was actually upset the rest of that weekend, as I made him realise how his behaviour (again!) had made others including me, feel.
Now my dh is popular, fairly outgoing and can be the life and soul of the party, with people he knows. If he's not feeling sociable he can't seem to make the effort though, although instances like these haven't happened in years, he's changed and by his own admission, is more self aware than he was and at every get-together, children's party etc, he's really made an effort.
It was something my sister said the other day though that got me. She mentioned some family friends and I was trying to remember the last time I saw them. She said, "Well with your dh's track record it's not surprising you haven't seen them, Mum and I wouldn't dream of calling in to you with anybody in tow, or inviting somebody else round when you're visiting with DH!"
I tried to say that was unfair, he's changed, even her own dh says what good company he is and her dd goes to him before she goes to me! She said yes but I've never forgotten how he was back then.
Tbh I got home and cried, it brought both these instances back and I suppose deep down I still feel awful about them, but realise it wasn't my fault. I suppose I took it out on him later yesterday, asked him again why he did it and did he realise the effect it had had (and is still having), he stomped off saying I'm just prone to "bearing grudges" and what about all the times since when he had made the effort. He went on a four day business trip this morning but I was in no mood to say goodbye properly and he left saying I'd really upset him. I'm thinking a bit more rationally now, but it's now as if those few times happened just yesterday.