to explain facts of life to 9 year old daughter

[clankypanky]

She has been complaining of achy tummy, achy back, achy down her legs on and off for 3 weeks or so now and I didnt want her to have a horrid shock one day. I think I explained it really well and she is such a good girl and very understanding but bless her, when i divulged about how a baby gets made she was absolutely horrified....(dont worry I did reassure her about everything, Im pretty sure I was as sensitive as I could be) She just seems so young but I know of girls starting their periods age 9 and she is a tall girl which I think is meant to make you more likey to start early. I just didnt want her to be scared, unfortunately I think she has been worrying about it anyway. Should I have waited? Should I have only told her certain bits?

I think you are only being unreasonable in being worried. Why did you think you shouldn't have told her?

I've always been fairly straight up with my two - they started asking questions when they first noticed my c-section scar at about threeish I'd guess. Over the years we have had many chats, and gone into as much detail as they wanted. My experience is that they make it fairly clear when they feel they have heard enough, and they forget a lot of it. I'd rather they heard slightly more than they really wanted, than they feel I'm holding back, and stop wanting to talk to me, or trusting what I tell them. The other day for example we had quite a long chat about rape (which was being used as a silly word at school).

Now they are nine and ten I think they are as well prepared as they can be. I do hope that dd doesn't start her period for many years yet, as mine were very painful and irregular in my teens.

Of course YANBU, you did the right thing!

I would have thought by 9 she would have known all about periods and the facts of life, but definately worth going over it again, nothing like a big shock when your periods start to make matters worse!

DS has known about periods since he was old enough to ask what tampons where for as he followed me into the loo (every single time) and h knows about reproduction in a very scientific term already.

It's always better to be informed and prepared.

Maggie, I have to admit my DS was pretty horrified about this aspect of things too at about age 8 or 9. But 'tis only the truth, and I'm sure he's resigned to his fate by now. I had gone over all the material before when they were younger and again when the cat got spayed but was surprised by how little had actually gone into their heads and stayed in.

I have an almost 10yo dd, and told her all abotu it when she was 8 and a half (I remember to this day the girl crying in the toilets at primary school cos she thought she was dying!)

She took periods etc in her stride, but after she asked "well how does the baby get in there" she was all . "Do people really do that? FOr fun?. Do you and Daddy do that? etc etc etc ....

Better to know than not know!

Was delighted to be able to defer to dh though when ds said "why does my willy keep sticking up?" (he's almost 8).

thanks math, I'm going to have to tell her precisely how the seed gets into the woman's tummy quite soon, as that's the piece of the jigsaw that's bothering her! i remember feeling urgh gross, when my mum told me!!

You could attempt it as a very clinical 'part A goes into part B, seed gets deposited, part A leaves part B, seed meets egg...' Maggie, without the little extra details. I remember feeling I was narrating an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine , it was that businesslike with oldest DD.

I also told my dd1 when she was nine. Mainly because I got unexpectedly pregnant and she was asking ... how exactly? Etc. But also cos a friend's dd started her periods.

I do disagree a bit with some of the posters on this thread. 9 isn't that old to leave it.

weegiemum - I did the willy sticking up conversation with ds1 just recently (gawd knows what dh would have come up with ). He has just turned 9 - so was 8 then - and had come up with his own theory that the sticking up willy was something to do with his appendix so it seemed the right time to give him more details beyond the "mummy has an egg and daddy has some sperm" which he has known since he was very young. Clankypanky - he was also fairly disgusted and quite sceptical, but has since asked a few pertinent questions which shows it has lodged in his mind in a reasonable way. I'm sure you've done the right thing for your dd.

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