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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

was I BU to say that my collegue takes too many sickies

64 replies

porcamiseria · 28/01/2010 09:59

I am fuming, my collegue (who I am very fond of BTW) has sent yet another pathetic sickie text. Its any excuse, a headache, tummy ache, period pain, and she bails. also between Xmas and NY when she was supposed to be working she only did 2-3 hour days. Its almost 1 day every 2-3 weeks she is off.

I dont think its fair, and I bet you any money if she did not get paid for these days, she would be here.

I am in the eary stages of PG, sick and tired. I would LOVE to take a day off but I dont want to take the piss.

So today I flipped and told our boss he needs to have a quiet word. Now I have extra work, and I feel pretty shit too.

Feel a bit bad as she is a mate, BUT it riles me beyond belief and work, is work

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2010 10:45

Hula, sorry to hear that. For every person like you there are 5 that are taking the piss though

Mongolia · 28/01/2010 10:46

FWIW I think you both are victims here: She may be ill without you knowing, as Hula say. Or pulling sickies, as I may say but the thing is that you are ending up with all the work and that is not fair, you will be the next person down, with stress.

Perhaps I would have suggested for possible alternatives to cover for her if her illness is long term rather than just expecting the rest of the team to pick up the pieces. It may not be her fault that she is ill, but it is not your fault either.

OrmRenewed · 28/01/2010 11:13

getorf - yep, that's the one I am talking about

mumblechum · 28/01/2010 11:31

"If you feel ill, then you take a day off"

Not on my planet you don't!

She sounds like she's pretty unmotivated if she takes time off just for headaches, period pains etc. Anyone with any work ethic at all would take a couple of paracetemol and get on with the job they're paid to do.

MrsMontague · 28/01/2010 11:36

YABU, I am self employed now but when I used to work I did have a lot of time off. At least 1 or 2 days a month. There were always whispers and people were funny with me about it. I genuinely always did feel ill, but couldn't quite put my finger on why, I would go to the doctors and be diagnosed with this virus or this infection. It probably did seem a bit pathetic. I broke the same wrist 3 times in a year, and on the 3rd time I was conveniently made redundant during 3 weeks off work. Let me just mention here that after breaking my wrist, I still tried to go in, but my boss said they were liable if I caused more damage to myself.

Anyway, it wasn't until after I had my daughter that I was diagnosed with severe Coeliacs disease, which is why I had been ill for so long. Especially considering for breakfast and lunch I was eating wheat based products! The Coeliacs disease had also caused problems with my bone density, hence the broken wrist 3 times in a year. It was such a relief when I was diagnosed as I got the validation I had needed. I actually wrote to my old boss with my diagnosis, just to prove a (maybe immature) point.

Anyway,the point of this is...don't judge her. It's got nothing to do with you, you don't know whats up with her, maybe she doesnt know. But trying to get her in trouble with the boss? Who needs enemies eh?

BalloonSlayer · 28/01/2010 11:47

I found when I spent a few years as a long-term temp that my capacity for "soldiering on" increased enormously. There were loads of days when I would have had the day off had I had paid sick leave but staggered in instead. Says it all really.

I do remember one job when most of the people working there were accountants. We were all temps on timesheets. One chap was doing much the same as me but as he was an accountant and I was just scum he was paid a much higher hourly rate. Fair enough - that's what you study for. Yet I noticed that although we always arrived at the same time in the morning - often shared the same lift - went to lunch together, and he went home a couple of minutes earlier than me, he was claiming 43+ hours worked a week while I was only claiming 35. He was a nice bloke and I considered him a friend at the time, but I so wanted to tip the wink to our boss. I didn't and I still sort of wish I had - I hate it when people take the piss and no one notices.

Fibilou · 28/01/2010 12:31

"if you feel ill, then you take a day off"

I'm glad you're not my employee. I think we can all acknowledge that there's genuinely being too ill to come into work and there's conveniently having a sniffle so you don't have to go in.

When people are off sick their colleagues pick up the slack and when a particular person is always being off for a day here and there for what we all know is a pathetic reason then it gets very annoying for those left to pick up the pieces.

I wonder how many people would stop pulling sickies if they weren't paid for them

Devendra · 28/01/2010 12:54

YABU and a martyr to boot. If you feel ill take a day of for goodness sake.

If her sickness is pissing you off then as a -friend- then have a chat with her.. don't go behind her back to your boss.

flowerybeanbag · 28/01/2010 13:18

"I wonder how many people would stop pulling sickies if they weren't paid for them"

fibilou the answer to that is that removing sick pay has a significant effect on absence rates. If someone's lying in bed feeling a bit off-colour and rather than just ringing in, has to consider losing a fairly significant amount of money if they do so, they are far less likely to do it.

Downside is it obviously penalises genuine ill people, which is why most employers do have some kind of sick pay arrangement.

OrmRenewed · 28/01/2010 13:21

Our company has just introduced the Bradford Scale ( I think it's called ) to tackle absurd sickness levels. It was putting the functioning of the factory and warehouse in jeopardy. It has already made a difference. Just the knowledge that someone is monitoring your sick leave makes people think twice before calling in with a tummy bug every monday morning, or with a migraine every time their shift falls on Sunday

The initial repercussion is only a meeting with HR.

ILovePlayingDarts · 28/01/2010 13:30

If my staff are genuinely ill, eg severe migraines, norovirus, I would understand if they took time off. But a "headache", a "tummy ache", take a tablet and come in to work. I do!

MyMamaToldMe · 28/01/2010 13:34

If she is your friend, then why isn't she feeling bad about taking these so called sickies and leaving you to cover for her, especially knowing you are pregnant and not feeling so great yourself? I know people are saying what kind of friend are you to be going behind her back, but really - what kind of friend is she being to you!?

YANBU

Triggles · 28/01/2010 14:08

Is she a friend, as in "do things together outside of work and are close" friend? Or a "we chat at work and buddy around at work a bit but don't socialise outside of work" kind of friend? I know that sounds vague, but when I was working full time, I had friends that I hung out with at work and work related stuff, but wouldn't have dreamed of discussing medical or health problems with them, as I consider that very TMI for work relationships.

diddl · 28/01/2010 14:13

Has it just started?

For about the past 15 years my husband has had only one or two days off a year.

Last year he had about 4wks in total.

Just couldn´t seem to shift things once he got them.

curryfreak · 29/01/2010 15:13

It's none of your business if she's taking time off. She might be genuinely ill. Have you asked her? There may well be a problem.
If you are sick, then take the day off. It's got nothing to do with your friend/colleauges absenteism.

Mongolia · 29/01/2010 15:53

I think is her business, she is the one picking up the pieces.

I'm sure that my job colleagues' sickness leave became my problem as soon as I started working extra hours and arriving late to pick up DS from school.

Because it was not DS's fault or mine, that I had to end working so many extra hours for free whether they were really sick or not.

OrmRenewed · 29/01/2010 16:00

"I think is her business, she is the one picking up the pieces."

Precisely. And it's poor management to allow a situation like this to carry on so long it causes resentment.

DuelingFanjo · 29/01/2010 16:02

I can sympathise OP. Me and my work mate hardly ever have sick days, even if we are sick we try to make it in (inless at death's door) but there are so many people in our dept who take 'sickies'. One person was actually fired because of it but most seem to get away with it.

Mongolia · 29/01/2010 16:04

Exactly, that's the thing, poor management is the problem here.

You can not sacrifice a full team for the sake of a member. As I said, one off, fine, constantly... well, as a manager you need to find alternatives rather than just expect everyone to cope indefinitely with the extra load and stress (because is not only doing the work but the stress of trying to find out what is going on when they disappear, dealing with the bad mood of the persons they were supposed to contact, and then re introducing the person to her own work load on her return. Too much if it si happening regularly.

Mongolia · 29/01/2010 16:12

Besides, following in the woman pulling sickies all the time, despite all the extra hours I worked due to her "illness" and all the times I picked up DS late thanks to it... she was the first to complain that mothers can't be relied to do as much at work as children are always getting on the way.

Mongolia · 29/01/2010 16:13

She had no children, obviously.

tethersend · 29/01/2010 16:17

Thanks to all you martyrs who struggle in to work when ill. On behalf of everyone who has ever had a fake sickie.
Your shoulders must be hurting from carrying the entire company- sit down and have a rest.

Does that make you feel better?

HerBeatitude · 29/01/2010 16:20

If I feel a bit ill and can't be arsed to go to work, I work at home. No-one is inconvenienced, no-one minds and I do my work because I'm so mindful of how lucky I am.

It's fab. I larve flexible working.

wannaBe · 29/01/2010 16:21

yanbu. Too many people take the piss when it comes to taking days off sick.

And what is the alternative to speaking to your boss? Bitching about it in the office? Because you can't stop people having opinions about persistent piss-takers, and if the boss mentions something and there is a genuine reason then that will emerge, or the op can just gossip about it among her colleagues...

HerBeatitude · 29/01/2010 16:37

Actually if there's a genuine reason, there's no reason it would emerge - it would be highly unprofessional for a manager to allow information to emerge, which had been told to him/ her in confidence.

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