to put my healthy cat down

[chocolaterabbit]

I have a cat who is now about 17 years old but still in good health - glossy coat, all teeth etc.

DH's cat died recently of natural causes and the two animals had been living together for 12 years. Since DH's cat died, my cat has started crapping all over the house, particularly in hard to reach areas like under the kitchen units/ behind the sofa.

I've shut all the doors etc but the cat flap leads directly into the kitchen and her food is there so can't shut her out. Came down this morning to find a sloppy poo under the kitchen table and against the legs of DD's highchair. It is absolutely revolting and horrible to have to clean up, also not exactly healthy for the DCs.

So. Would I be unreasonable to ask the vet to put my cat down because of this?

i'm really not trying to be arguementative here, but seriously for those of you comparing cats to human children, would you really struggle to decide which to drag from a burning building? your cat or your toddler.. serious question.

Whether others would PTS is immaterial, this is not their cat. It's down to the OP, I just hope that the OP doesn't take it as encouragement.

The OP asked what others would do, we've told her, me included. I've also suggested an alternative to PTS which would alleviate her problem and prevent the cat losing her life and I've offered to assist in this.

Its all very well sayig kill the cat because she is shitting in the house and you could't be doing with it, but why continue to say this when there is a perfectly reasonable alternative suggestion together with the offer to facilitate it?

Bravo Valhalla. I really don't think seeking other solutions and trying out ideas is the equivalent to being mad cat ladies. Life should be respected and come before carpets.

And OP I am actually sympathetic to your situation. It is very stressful dealing with an incontinent pet but I worry that your vet does not bother to explore alternatives and is too quick to recommend putting down.

It's not just carpets though. Have any of you 'don't put down the cat' advocates ever walked into a room and seen your baby squishing cat shit between his fingers? And you're okay about that? FFS I think some of you have your priorities seriously screwed.

As I posted earlier, it was not an easy decision to either rehome or put my cat down but I couldn't carry on with the incontinence. It was horrible for everyone - the cat and us. Sometimes there is no solution. And it's very sad but as MP has said throughout this thread, I would also put an incontinent parent who shat all over the house in a home. Magnolia's earlier post explaining what her life is like living with an incontinent dog explained it very well I thought.

LadyBiscuit - why would you leave your baby in a room with cat shit anyway? If you knew the cat shit on the floor then why have them in the room alone when you're not with them? You being there would alleviate that problem no?

Also, I'm amazed people would just to putting their own parent in a home just because they couldn't control bodily functions.

Why get a pet if you wouldn't even be able to look after your own parent when they age? Owning an animal doesn't end when they become "inconvenient", or at least it shouldn't do to responsible owners.

I'll be gutted if DS puts me in a home when I start shitting myself. The amount of disgusting nappies he saves just for me, he owes me.

OP, how many times has your cat cleaned up your poo? I think we have to work on a balance here.

Jodie - my cat shat all over the house. Occasionally she would shit somewhere and I hadn't found it. I have a job which means I'm unable to be on 24/7 cat following duty so it was always a bit of a lottery trying to track down the shit before the baby found it. Obviously I did try - it wasn't in mine or my child's best interests for him to find it first.

And you know what? If your mother was smearing shit all over the walls regularly, I bet you would put her in a home. Why on earth is martyrdom so valued?

op FWIW- I cant wait till you have to clean up the toddler vile shite everywhere,cos sweetheart you aint going to cope with that very well are you? if you can't cope with a bit of cat poo. For any above posters who have a quandry over whether my children or toddlers come first, the answer is simply this I love them all and all of their welfare, duty of care whatever is my responsibility. I will always act on love not convenience.

OP - what have you decided?

Feeling sad about mog being pts

FFS why do this stupid bloody argument come up every time? Animals are more important than people! So what? It's irrelevant. And I've not yet seen any of the 'mad cat ladies' suggest otherwise btw. Who would I save from a burning building? My DC without a shadow of a doubt. Would I also want to save my cats? Yes of course I would but I wouldn't jeopardise my safety or that of my DC for their sake. But they do matter to me. They are less than my kids (if that matters at all) but they still deserve consideration. I owe them that since I made the decision to take them on.

Would I pts a sick cat whose quality of life was very poor and unlikely to improve? Yes, with regret. Would I PTS a perfectly healthy animal with a possibly temporary incontience problem? No.

Having pets is inconvenent at times. But the pros outweigh the cons for most people. Otherwise just get a cuddly toy

agree wholeheartedly orm

Been to the vet. Nothing wrong physically so purely behavioural. Vet suggested PTS as I'd expected. I said we'd see how we'd manage so have some stuff to try and train her.

If we are not able to resolve the behaviour problems, I have arranged that my sister will take the cat when she moves back to the UK in a month's time as she doesn't have DCs and I will manage in the meantime.

FWIW, I inherited the cat from my grandmother when I was 22. No, I didn't think about how I would deal with an elderly cat and very little DCs because DH and I had only just met, no career plans, didn't even know if I wanted DCs so yes I should have thought about it but don't think it would be that unusual for it not to be fully thought through in those circs and I have done my best for 17 years.

So pleased to hear this. Fingers crossed that the training will work

OP I think you sound lovely tbh, a really caring and concerned owner who's just trying to do the right thing by EVERYONE involved.

If it's any consolation I am having trouble with a dog who has reverted to weeing on the floor at night and a cat who has decided that if the weather is in any way inclement that she will just poo on the carpet instead of going outside. I want to put my head down and weep some days (but not on the carpet!) And a toddler with a tummy bug!

So, just to say I get it, and I think you're doing the best you can. Best of luck x

DId you ask about Feliway spray/plug ins?
We found this helpful when our cats were upset/unsettled when we moved (and starting peeing in the house for the first time ever).

chocolaterabbit-I am absolutely sure once weather goes up a few more degrees the cat will start to go out more.I have taken an old cat on from someone who went into a nursing home,she pees indoors when extreme cold but goes out otherwise.I try and put her out myself physically 10 mins in morning and evening to minimize any accidents, good luck.

YABVU

Give the cat to someone who wants it and can love it.

To stop the poor thing being killed, I'd come and get it off you personally, but DH is allergic.

do you love the cat? i'm sorry but it does not sound that way from your last post. i appreciate that you inherited her etc. but it took me years to get over the death of my favourite cat

YABtotally U. 17 is not old for a cat. my last cat lived til she was mid 20's.

You have a responsibility to get her checked by the vet and much as its disgusting, animals do poo in the house from time to time (illness, anxiety, accidents) - you just clean it up, disinfect it and get on with it.

Its because of people like you that so many older animals are in rescue centres.

Are you nearly middle ages - best get you put down before you become a burden to the NHS

great solution after visit to the vet - well done for taking this decision

I would hate to have a 'healthy' cat put down. When my apparently healthy cat started weeing everywhere I got very annoyed to. Eventually I too him to the vet and it turned out he has very bad arthritus which had welded the last few vertibre of his spine together, making him loose all feeling in his bowls... Turned out that eventhough he never complained he was in extreme pain... I think a trip to the vet would be very worthwhile.... cats apparently don't complain like dogs and so you can be quite unaware of an ailment.

Good luck,
Sallypoo

I have some Felliway, vet not convinced it will work but will try also suggested some techniques for retraining her. I like the cat but wouldn't choose or have chosen to have a pet but am trying to do the right thing. I probably don't love her whereas I adored the cats my parents had when I was little so no problem with pets per se.

To the people now saying IABU, if you read my last post I have accepted I am and have taken some of the excellent advice given on this thread. Thanks to those who gave the advice.

Do try the Feliway, it is much better than you would imagine.

As soon as we put in a Feliway plug-in our cats stopped running around like mad things and peeing in corners and returned to their normal chilled selves.

I do think your vet sounds a bit unhelpful and not really a cat lover...

OP, I think you are extremely caring towards this cat. I would ignore all the YABU statements tbh. It is not unreasonable to want to live in a shit free house if you have small dcs. Their welfare has to come first.