to expect these things from DH?

[MamaVoo]

OK, this is probably going to sound really petty, but I want DH to make me a cup of tea once in a while! I spend all day with a 2yo who never stops. Once I've put him to bed I cook dinner for myself and DH and sometimes I would like my DH to make me a cup of tea in the evenings. If I ask him he just whinges and puts off doing it until I do it myself and then - and this is what really annoys me - asks me to make him one too. He can't understand why I'm getting worked up over a cup of tea but to me there is a bigger picture.

The other thing I would like him to do, which he seems to think is unreasonable, is to get up a little earlier in the morning so that I can have 20 minutes or so before he leaves for work to have a quick shower and get myself ready for the day in peace. He leaves himself the bare minimum of time in the morning to get ready for work then comes downstairs and is gone within about five minutes. Considering that he doesn't get home from work till after DS is in bed I think this would be some nice time for them to spend together too. He's not willing to do this every day though. Just a couple of times a week.

To qualify, he does work hard and also does things around the house. So, am I being unreasonable to expect just a little bit more? I can take it if MN says I am.

YANBU. For the alternative perspective. I work full time while DH is a SAHD.

During the week I make him a cup of coffee in bed. This is because I need to get up earlier than him. During the weekend I get a lie in and he brings me a cup of tea in bed. Unless of course he's been drinking all night with his BF and has a hangover, in which case his fluid replacement is a priority

During the week I often come home to find (as I did last night) dinner cooking. Mostly this happens. Sometimes if he's had a bad day it isn't. In this case I cook dinner.

The point is not who does what in our domestic routine, but rather that both of us can say "I've had a hard day, I need a break" and know the other will pick up the slack without whinging, whineing or moaning. It's about basic respect and acting like adults in an adult relationship.

Mamavoo, if he were mine, I'd ask ONCE for him to make me a cuppa. Give it a few minutes then wander off into the kitchen and make my own. Go back in and sit down and drink it. If I got a "er - didn't you make me one?" I'd just reply with "oh, did you want one? Sorry..." and carry on with watching TV or whatever. Don't make a big deal of it.

As for the getting up earlier, once you're in a routine it is very hard to break it. Have you tried sitting down to talk it through? Bear in mind that most men don't think looking after children is "work" and he's probably wondering what the fuss is about. He does it a 'couple of times a week' and probably considers it a big favour for you, not something to work into the daily routine.

Mmmcoffee I think he does consider it a big favour and yet he gets the luxury of being able to get washed and dressed in peace every day. He also has his breakfast made every day before work, not because he has asked me to do it, but because I know it helps him out so I do it gladly.

It sounds like some of you have amazing husbands. I dream of a cup of tea in bed

I think from the majority of posts that I'm not being too unreasonable. On that note, I will go and make myself a cup of tea.

Mama hahahaha that's right keep your sense of humour about it! I think Slug makes a very good point in that if you need a break and ask for it, it should be done for you now and then in good humour without whinging because you love each other and appreciate how hard you BOTH work. I also think that perhaps you shouldn't make his brekkie EVERY single day as once you set a precedent like this, it's expected and you will be taken for granted..