Last week we received an invite through the post from BIL, his girlfriend and their kids inviting us to a family celebration to celebrate a 'surprise' family event. The event is being held in 4 weeks time.
I already had plans for that weekend - my mother is returning from travelling in India, and my sister is coming down to visit and intending to make a few days of it, sightseeing and doing nice things with our children together. She lives over 200 miles away, but we both make the effort to stay in each other's lives as much as we can, and want our children to grow up as close cousins. I visit her and she visits me.
Husband's brother, OTOH, has been off the radar for years. Every so often we are summonsed to OH's parent's house for some momentous family event, which usually turns out to be me and OH sitting in a stone cold house listening to the clock ticking while his parents do whatever it is they are doing. (God knows what it is they are doing though whenever we go to visit. It doesn't involve interacting with us!) His sister sometimes comes along too, but his 2 brothers never go. His eldest brother NEVER goes. Not to milestone birthdays, housewarmings, christenings, anything. He doesn't do family. His girlfriend is very keen to ingratiate herself into the family, but is struggling against the tide of disapproval that stems from her being the ex-best friend of his first wife.
So noone knows what this special occasion they all wish us to share with them is. It is being celebrated on a Saturday evening 180 miles away from where we live, and no amount of phone calls will elicit an explanation from them. OH is convinced they are getting married, but late in the evening? In their house in Sheffield? There is none of the offer of any assistance in finding accommodation that would normally accompany a wedding - not a problem unless you are trying to figure out what to do with your 2 year old.
OH things I am being silly about not wanting to go, and to spend the weekend with my sister instead. And to my surprise my mother agrees with OH! But I am not sure if I am being unreasonable to not want to cancel all my plans to go on a wild goose chase to the other end of the country at the request of a prodigal brother who 'doesn't do family.'
Phew. That took longer than I expected!