Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Leaving children in car?

24 replies

Coldhands · 27/01/2010 19:40

Ok, I know there have been many similar threads with regards to leaving DCs etc, but I was wondering what is acceptable when it comes to leaving them in the car.

My DS is 2. When I get petrol, I leave him in the car to go and pay and spend the whole time practiacally jumpting up and down 'just in case' something happened. I know I am being really irrational on that one. People don't take thier kids out of the car just to go and pay petrol and it would hold everyone else up so I don't think I should take him out. Doesnt stop me feeling guilty though, even though I know it is really daft.

Anyway, sometimes I go and pick up a prescription from our local chemist. It is a carpark outside the shop and it is a lot of hassle to get DS in and out, as once I take him out, he wouldn't want to nip in the shop then go straight back in the car again. So I generally leave him in the car and nip in. More often than not, they are very bust and the people are very very slow so it takes a while. I'm usually hovering at the door watching my car (whilst I am at the back of the queue, obviously as I get to the front I can't see the car anymore) and if they do take too long, I go and get DS anyway as I get paranoid that someone may say something about me leaving a young child in the car.

I know it seems really daft, even more in writing, but what is generally acceptable with leaving a DC in the car?

OP posts:

eggontoast · 27/01/2010 19:45

I dont leave in car for petrol as I use handy pay at pump. I would not leave in car if car went out of sight, definitely not.

I may be looking at the worst case senario's and imagining them to be much more likely than they are but I just would not risk it, so I guess personally I do think you are maybe not being unreasonable as such, just a little more of a risk taker than me. Not that risky though.

Taramuddle · 27/01/2010 19:47

I leave mine in the car if I am going to be quick & can see the car.

Original poster

Coldhands · 27/01/2010 19:47

I know, I like the pay at pumps but we collect the Tesco points and the stupid things don't seem to swipe at the pay at pumps. I can always see the car though from the window, or I go in the evening when I don't have DS with me.

OP posts:

lou031205 · 27/01/2010 19:47

I would leave in car to pay for petrol as long as in sight, as my card does not work with pay at pump. Would not leave to go into a shop of any description.

FoShoSTFU · 27/01/2010 19:48

Message deleted

Dozymare · 27/01/2010 19:49

My DC's are 6,3,1. Have always left them in the car whilst paying for petrol (maybe with the exception of PFB as seem to recall carrying him in the car seat to pay).

harimosmummy · 27/01/2010 19:50

I don't ever leave mine in the car (I have 18MO and 6MO) except when getting petrol because (i)I can see the car at all times and (ii) I feel it is safer than getting them out for such a short stop in what is essentially a drive through car park.

it's all about risks - if the risk of getting them out of the car is greater than leaving the (strapped in) alone for a few minutes, then that's what I'll do.

I'm luck tho - live in a market town so can walk most places.

lovechoc · 27/01/2010 19:51

I leave DS in car (2.9) when I pay for petrol but I'm constantly staring at the car when waiting in the queue so he is being supervised (except for the split second I'm paying!).

Original poster

Coldhands · 27/01/2010 20:21

I'm glad to read these replies! Although don't know what that deleted message was.

I really thought I was being over protective and paranoid about it.

OP posts:

fruitstick · 27/01/2010 20:25

I leave in the car to pay for petrol as the car remains in sight at all times.

Probably wouldn't do it to go into a shop if I couldn't see the car.

However DS1 is now in his big car seat (with the adult strap) and can climb out of the strap now so he comes in with me

paisleyleaf · 27/01/2010 20:30

I don't leave my DD in the car. But I only have her, so it's easy for me to bring her with me.
If I had 2 or more DCs, I might weigh it up and decide it safer to leave them.
I use pay at pump when I can for convenience. Our local garage have recently refurbished so you queue with your back to the door, a long way from the door.

PiratePrincess · 27/01/2010 20:30

I leave my 3 in the car most times I go to get petrol or a couple of bits from the shop.

No-one would want to take them...

MadamDeathstare · 27/01/2010 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Coldhands · 27/01/2010 20:39

Where do you live MDS?

I'm always wanting more drive through stuff for the convenience, but then I may get lazier . (And thats not saying you are lazy btw)

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 27/01/2010 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smokinaces · 27/01/2010 20:48

I leave the kids in the car whilst getting petrol (2yo and 3.5yo). I also left DS1 in the car outside the nursery 3 times this week. Monday morning and evening and then again Tuesday evening - he had a sickness bug and wasnt allowed in, but I had to take/collect DS2. He was strapped in, in front of the large classroom for the 3-4yos and sat doing his stitching cards for the 5 minutes I was gone. (and I told the manager as I went in)

I also leave them strapped in when I duck in the local shop for the gas and electric. and when I pop to the chippy. All these things I can see them through the window the whole time apart from the nursery - but in the last 7 months of being a single parent that is the first time I've had one off sick. (Couldnt keep other one off as had to work from home to keep up hours)

pooexplosions · 27/01/2010 20:58

Yes for petrol, yes for the chemist, yes for local small shop, yes for school drop off, no for Tesco.

Any minute now someone will come along and start shrieking about cars spontaneously combusting and/or getting carjacked with infants in back.

purplejennyrose · 27/01/2010 21:09

Yes to anything where I can keep the car in view and it will only take a few minutes.

Surely if you left them in the car you'd lock it, so they wouldn't be able to get out and walk around???

slightlyharried · 27/01/2010 21:29

That is one of my dilemmas though - is it better to lock them in or not - what if something happened?
normally end up locking them in - it's only a petrol station and the odds...etc
But I always do for short things and tell ds nearly 3 to scream and shout if anyone comes near by ... that'd learn 'em

BexieID · 27/01/2010 21:33

I think i've only left Tom in the car once to get petrol. Once in the flat to buy something in the co-op downstairs when he was asleep.

RE: locking the car. I think it depends on your car. Tom yesterday managed to lock himself and 5 week old Erin in the car as our Scenic has a central locking button inside the car (mummy had left keys in the car, engine was off, because someone had parked right up along the drivers side so I couldn't get in the car and had to climb over from passenger side and reverse out!).

I'm now waiting to forget to take Erin out of the car when dropping Tom off at nursery!

I like the sound of the drive thru drop off point at school. Do you just open the door and shove the little darlings out?

BexieID · 27/01/2010 21:34

Was meant to say, if they can lock themselves in, they can unlock car to get out in a Scenic, unless ours is faulty as the last one didn't have the option.

GoddessInTheKitchen · 27/01/2010 21:35

i only leave dd (4) where i can see her, i can't lock my doors as when she moves the alarm goes off! but i couldn't leave her if going out of sight, though probably would for a minute or two if i COULD lock the doors, she knows she can't get out if i've left her in there

parakeet · 27/01/2010 21:41

I have sometimes left them in the car when paying for petrol, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Problem is, I know child abduction is incredibly rare, but car theft is quite common.

I can't even lock my car, because when I do it automatically sets the car alarm, and then one of the girls will set it off by waving their legs about.

14hourstillbedtime · 27/01/2010 21:56

There's a brilliant (ironic face - why is there no emoticon for this?) advert from the 50s that says something like:

'You can tell there's a sale going on at X shop when there's a line of buggies parked outside!' (Babies were routinely left in buggies while the mums went and shopped inside....!!!)

I'm not condoning the advert, btw, I'm just pointing out that our standards for parenting change a lot: The few times I've left DS (once to go get petrol cos the pay at pump thing had broken down - I live in the US - and a few times when I've just got him in the car, realized I'd left something inside (28 steps...), locked door and raced back inside to get said thing, I've had someone come up to me and tell me, in a threatening tone:

'You know it's ILLEGAL to leave a child unattended in the car.'

I just ignore them. Yes, I know the law. Yes, I know I'm breaking it and maybe, instead of threatening me you could have offered to watch him while I heaved my pregnant self up flight of stairs?!

Flip