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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said this to a sales assistant..?

46 replies

ErikaMaye · 26/01/2010 22:21

I had to buy some clothes for me and DS today. It was warm, I was tired and stressed. When the buzzer went off to announce which till I was to be served at, I approached. The "salesman" was leaning against the side picking his fingers, and sighed as I handed the basket over. He scanned the items and put them in a bag. Then with his eyes still looking at the screen, he held his hand out and said, "37.50". Not "37 pound fifty". No "please". And when I handed him the money, he held the notes up to the light. No "thank you".

So as I took my bag from him, I said, "Its okay to say 'please' and 'thank you', you know..." and walked off.

When I was working, I always said please and thank you. When I'm the buyer, I say please and thank you. Its just common courtesy, surely?

Was I unreasonable? Or more - AIBU to expect people to be polite when serving, and being served?

OP posts:
BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny · 26/01/2010 22:24

Nope, that was perfectly acceptable. Mannars cost nothing. We used to be well known for our customer service in this country!

LynetteScavo · 26/01/2010 22:25

YANBU

I would have asked him what the magic word was before I handed over my cash.

TheCrackFox · 26/01/2010 22:29

I was in Sainsburys the other day and the shop assistant didn't utter one single word - just proffered her hand out. I did the exaggerated manners thing "Why than you" however, her sour faced expression didn't crack.

Lubyloo · 26/01/2010 22:32

No - YANBU at all. I have more than once just stood at the counter waiting for a thank you when I have not had one. The assistant generally looks up blankly (making eye contact for the first time) and I smile pleasantly at them until they ask me what I want. They have been taken aback when I have said that I am just waiting for a thank you.

There is absolutely no excuse for rudeness. A please and thank you is the very minimum you should expect.

justsue · 26/01/2010 22:32

I think they are rather bored in thier jobs and have no motivation but does not excuse manners.. Would hate to work in a shop

TheCrackFox · 26/01/2010 22:34

I have numerous shit jobs but I was always nice to people even if they were being complete twats.

bean612 · 26/01/2010 22:36

YA absolutely not BU. This kind of thing drives me potty. I've worked in several sales assistant jobs and it costs NOTHING to at the very minimum maintain eye contact and be polite. If nothing else, it at least makes the job you're presumably so miffed about doing slightly more pleasant. On the flip side, plenty of customers are just as bad. A guy I used to work with always made a point of calling "You're welcome!" after customers who didn't even give him a glance while paying, never mind say please or thank you.

Hattie23 · 26/01/2010 22:40

In my local Tesco there is one lady cashier who's queue is always double that of anyone else - the reason is she is so lovely, smiley, chatty and welcoming. People would prefer to wait so they can be served by her.

Oh and hello new here (can you guess!!)

hmc · 26/01/2010 22:49

You did the right thing Erika. It's horrible to be treated churlishly

Original poster
ErikaMaye · 26/01/2010 22:53

Glad its not just me. Even when I had bad days when I worked with customers I always said hello, asked how they were if they seemed up for a chat, please and thank you - even with the rude ones!!

Welcome, by the way, Hattie

OP posts:
BooHooMonkey · 26/01/2010 22:55

I work in a supermarket. It's not the job I envisioned ending up in when I was at uni but it fits in with childcare. I do not always enjoy the job, especially when customers are rude to me, but I always smile and say please and thankyou. I work in a service industry, surely that infers I should be providing a good customer service? YANBU

Kaloki · 26/01/2010 22:57

YANBU. The job may be crap but that's not a good enough reason to be rude.

Slartybartfast · 26/01/2010 22:59

i hate that attitude, of the shop keepers, it takes nothign for a bit of pleasantness. hopefully yoru comments woke him up!

TottWriter · 26/01/2010 23:06

I've done the whole retail thing, and while it sucks, I was always polite to each and every customer, even when it meant I came home and screamed in frustration from smiling all day. It's the job; it's what you do. Or should do..

Sounds like you got a bad'un. My sister, as much as I love her dearly, is guilty of this. She clearly doesn't understand that being friendly and polite makes the day more enjoyable for both the customers and you yourself. I always got nicer cutomers than the old sourpusses who sat there sulking, because people want good service, and when they're happy to get it, they smile, which in turn makes you happy yourself. It's a lovely cycle which mostly works - such a shame that not everyone gets it.

And I ALWAYS said 'please' and 'thank you'. You are taking someone's money. It's what you do.

emsyj · 27/01/2010 10:10

YANBU. Part of the job is being polite to customers. Working in a shop can actually be quite nice if you chat to the customers and it helps pass the time. I used to work in John Lewis when I was a student (during the holidays) and I quite enjoyed it most of the time. It was tiring standing up all day, but as TottWriter says, if you're nice to people they'll generally be nice back and that makes the day more pleasant all round

shumway · 27/01/2010 10:24

Personally I hate it when shop assistants are all fake-chummy. I just want to pay for my stuff quickly and get out.

Kaloki · 27/01/2010 11:02

Was just talking to DP about this, we've just been in our local newsagent and the guy there was really chatty and friendly. Turns out he rarely turns a wage at the moment, contrast that with a sales assistant in a large store, they do turn a wage no matter how small. I'd say the newsagent owner has more reason to be grumpy at his job.

When I worked in retail I had a matra I used on bad days, "it is not the customers fault I'm grumpy, don't take it out on them"

ihearttc · 27/01/2010 11:09

I completely agree YANBU because manners cost nothing but it works the other way as well! I work in a shop at weekends and you'd be amazed the amount of customers who just literally throw the clothes and stuff on the counter and stick the card in without uttering a single word. Im always polite to customers and treat them how I would like to be treated but a huge majority of them don't show staff the same courtesy.

By far the most annoying thing is customers who have an entire phone conversation whilst you are serving them...its very annoying and very rude!

dawntigga · 27/01/2010 11:11

As a decidedly grumpy old woman I don't let anyone get away without manners any more. I can quite often be seen saying to people no it's quite alright or you're welcome when I've let them through etc. So YANBU.

HadABitOfATiffWithSomebodyYesterdayAboutPlease/ThankYouTiggaxx

Kaloki · 27/01/2010 11:12

ihearttc My personal "favourite" was the customer on the phone and wearing dark glasses so you couldn't even make eye contact.

4andnotout · 27/01/2010 11:15

YANBU.

Manners cost nothing, its disgracefull that people don't take a few minutes nowdays to say please, thankyou etc.

emsyj · 27/01/2010 11:16

"Personally I hate it when shop assistants are all fake-chummy. I just want to pay for my stuff quickly and get out."

Who said anything about being 'fake-chummy'? If you don't want anyone to say, 'hello', 'please', 'thank you' and 'goodbye' then that's up to you, but seems a strange way to want to approach the world. Life is nicer and simpler if you are just pleasant. Not fake or chummy or taking too much interest or asking personal questions, but just pleasant.

alypaly · 27/01/2010 11:17

manners cost nothing but i certainly wouldnt want to hear'well have a nice day' then from every shop assistant' its soooo corny

gorionine · 27/01/2010 11:20

YANBU!

I would not have dared telling him so well done you!

By emsyj Wed 27-Jan-10 10:10:37 "" if you're nice to people they'll generally be nice back and that makes the day more pleasant all round"" I could not agree more!

Nancy66 · 27/01/2010 11:22

I think you were quite right.

There's a newsagent near me, family run, and whenever the teenage daugher is behind the counter she's forever trying to deal with customers whilst having a Vicky Pollard style conversation on her mobile at the same time.

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