to be pissed off that my mother declares she's "worried about me"

[Alambil]

because I'm fat when she smokes up to 10 a day....?

black, pot, kettle or unreasonable daughter?

Hmmm...she may be worried about you though. Doesn't mean she is in perfect health, just that she's worried. Depends how it was said really.

oh this is after years of daily "so, how's the weight going?" "are you trying at the mo (meaning dieting)?" "what size do you want to be for x y z occasion?" "well if you lose weight by summer, you won't need new clothes" ..... and on and on and on and on and on and on and ............

I just find it MIGHTY hypocritical

and I might respond from each comment with some catty remark about smoking, but I can't because she gets huffy.

ARGH. sometimes I just wish she'd not punctuate every conversation with a mention of my fucking weight.

Yes. I'm fat. DEAL WITH IT.

I think you should respond every single time with a mention of her smoking until she gets bored if it and gives up. If she is p'ing you off with her diet comments then i wouldn't worry too much about p'ing her off about the smoking.
We have never let my mum forget the time when my sister was about to tuck into her Christmas Dinner and my mum said "Watch those inches!" It was her Christmas F'ing Dinner!!

Of course she's worried about you.That's a mum's job !!

You can't stop her 'worrying' but you can tell her that you don't want to hear about it, unless she wants to hear about how you are 'worried' about her smoking.

Princessparty - it's one thing to be worried, it's quite another to say the things Lewisfans' mother says... that's not 'worry' that being 'worried' about how her weight reflects on her (the mother).

I think she probably means well but is just going the wrong way about things.not unreasonable for OP to be annoyed though