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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are these the actions of a real friend?

26 replies

BobbyTheBird · 26/01/2010 12:23

A work collague wrote something shitty about our boss on my facebook page. I hardly go on and didn't know about it until said friend told me she had printed the page off and shown it to our boss.

I had her son over for a sleepover and went to pick him up. I asked if she would pick him up in the morning as my DH was at work and I didn't want to drag my 3 month old baby out in all the snow and ice. She said she would text me and let me know what time they would pick up their DS. Got no text and half 10 the next morning ended taking him home myself. Having to drag out my own 3 DC including baby. Her and her DH were both off work and so one of them could have easily nipped out to pick him up.

In front of friends the other day I said I don't really know what a 'pen drive' is (I'm not really up on computers) She said in a sarcastic voice" I think you know alot more than you let on" (WTF?) No idea what that was about

OP posts:
warthog · 26/01/2010 12:25

doesn't sound very nice

mistletoekisses · 26/01/2010 12:26

Huh? Brain may be addled by bfeeding growth spurting newborn...but I no understand the OP!!!

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 26/01/2010 12:26

yes she is a beatch but tbh you sound a bit victimy

kinnies · 26/01/2010 12:27

She sounds like a twit.
What do you like about her? Has she got reasons for beeing a cow or is she always like it?

TippyTumbles · 26/01/2010 12:27

no - she sounds like a complete 'mare, who needs friends like that?

JustAnotherManicMummy · 26/01/2010 12:27

facebook thing sounds horrid.

The rest... I don't understand!

Mumcentreplus · 26/01/2010 12:30

Ahh..she sounds like a cow-bag keep away from her if poss...I'm with kinnies what do you like about her exactly?

Original poster
BobbyTheBird · 26/01/2010 12:30

We have been friends for 10 years, always got on really well. Just the last 6 months she started being weird.

Not being a victim. I'm planning to end the friendship really, just wanted to get a few opinions on her actions to make sure i'm not over reacting.

OP posts:
Original poster
BobbyTheBird · 26/01/2010 12:31

Not sure what I like about her anymore, probably nothing now. Just very sad as we have been so close for so long.

OP posts:
freshcleanwashing · 26/01/2010 12:33

Not what I would call a friend and if a friend had my child for the night I would be very grateful and would arrange there and then a time to pick my son. how rude not to even text knowing you have to bring him back.
She sounds like a complete cow not someone I would call a friend you deserve better, more like a p@@@ taker.

EccentricaGallumbits · 26/01/2010 12:33

she's a itch. itch her.

EccentricaGallumbits · 26/01/2010 12:33

ooo looky. i came over all netmumsy

Original poster
BobbyTheBird · 26/01/2010 12:35

you should be ashamed eccentica!

Thanks everyone, you have confirmed what I already thought

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 26/01/2010 12:38

maybe some time apart would be good...is she going through something at the mo?..have to talked to her about her behaviour?

Original poster
BobbyTheBird · 26/01/2010 12:43

I would love to talk to her about her behaviour but I think I'd get upset and really don't want to do that.

I know I sound a wuss but this woman is my childrens Godmother, she and her DH were witnesses at our Wedding, and she has basically been like a sister to me.

I actually feel a real sense of lose because I can see that our friendship has deteriated beyond repair.

Sorry for any typos, feeding baby as well as typing!

OP posts:
tigger15 · 26/01/2010 12:48

Your only option if you think you could keep calm while saying this is to try something along the lines of "I'm getting the feeling that I've done something to upset you. I don't know what it is but I really value our friendship/history and would like to sort it out". Then see what she says.

Unless she's suffering from some sort of psych disorder her actions sound like those of someone with a deep grudge for no. 1 (unless she was trying to do the other colleague in), lazy and inconsiderate for no. 2 and just irritated or in bad mood for no. 3.

agedknees · 26/01/2010 15:03

Has her behaviour changed since the birth of your last child? Is she trying for another baby and cannot conceive and is a bit envious? Just trying to think of a reason a good friend would go bad.

Original poster
BobbyTheBird · 26/01/2010 16:34

Her behaviour has changed since I had my baby agedknees but she has 4 DC and doesn't want more so jealousy can't be the reason

OP posts:
MissWooWoo · 26/01/2010 16:55

she is acting like a (sly) bully and a (not so sly) bitch.

People who behave like this are usually jealous. If she is godmother to your children surely she can't always have been like this? Time to talk.

MissWooWoo · 26/01/2010 16:58

don't rule out jealousy, I read a thread recently where OP had dc, got pregnant at same time as her friend, she miscarried, friend didn't, she was very upset and deep down quite jealous from what I could see

agedknees · 26/01/2010 16:59

How old is she? Maybe going through early menopause? Can make you go a bit loopy and bitchy - don't I know it.

Hullygully · 26/01/2010 17:00

This sort of thing makes me so sad

Original poster
BobbyTheBird · 26/01/2010 18:45

She is 40 in a few months.

How do you mean Hully?

OP posts:
allaboutme · 26/01/2010 18:51

Sounds to me like she is pissed off at you for something. She is being an utter bitch about showing your boss the facebook stuff (did you confront her over this???) and also not picking her son up on time.
The comment 'I think x knows a lot more than she is letting on' is a red flag to me that there is an undercurrent here of something she thinks you have done or know about that she is seething over.... can you think of anything?
Or ask her if there is anything up as you've noticed she has been a bit off with you recently?

echt · 26/01/2010 18:52

Hully does this sort of thing, Bobby.

It makes me so annoyed.