to tell my mother to either help me, or stop nagging me.

[shoptilidrop]

Because she is doing my head in.

Basically, ive got this huge pile of paperwork i need to do. It includes two important things, one for my divorce, one for updating my address. The pile of paperwork has been getting bigger and bigger.

Im a lone parent who works. Ive a 4 year old dd and a dog. Time is the one thing i am short of. In december i said about this pile pf paperwork i was getting worried about as i knew i needed to do it. My mum and sister were busy ( understandably) with christmas and said they would have my dd one weekend in jan so i could do it. DDs dad didnt really see her at all in dec, ( just boxing day) so i had no time to do it.

Its impossible to do with DD around. Ive tried and the pile is just too big, it needs sorting first, then actioning.

DD's dad is now away ( army.) so, he only had her one day and night in dec, and is not back until late feb. In the meantime ive started a new job ( having to get up earlier and so going to bed earlier.) DDs been quite upset and is missing her dads, so lots of broken nights sleep in my bed. Im knackered.

Ive been looking at new cars and just brought one last weekend, and just sold my old car. But this has taken up a lot od time., PLus its been DDs birthday. Had a family party sunday, day out with her yesterday and friends party on sat coming. She has also had a party last weekend.

Im behind on everything and the house is a tip. Mum keeps nagging me about this pile of paperwork. I tell her, im barley managing to keep on top of day to day stuff at the momment. but she keeps going on. She eventually says she might be about to have dd one night iin a few weeks time but will let me know.

I know its not her responsibility to have dd. But can i just tell her to either have dd and help me or just quit nagging me.

You poor thing! You sound stressed and snowed under. As your mum does help sometimes, can you not just be direct and ask her. Perhaps you need to be a bit more direct and tell her you are stressed and have no time

I can ask her. BUT she does actually work as well. And has her own dog to walk too. So shes busy too.

Plus, i dont like to ask too much. because. its not their problem, its mine.

It does sound like things have just piled up on top of at the moment.
Parties are a nightmare. So much stress and expense. Can you buy pre made bags? Or maybe get your mum/bro to come round for 30 mins just to help stuff things in bags?

I am the last to give advise about asking for help because I find it so hard but sometimes you just have too.

Does DD have to have a bath tonight, could you put it off until tomorrow night. One less thing on your list

how about instead of posting on here moaning you get on and do it.

wow, thanks for that, very helpful

small problem, am actually at work right now

well do some work then

Shoptilidrop, it might help if you broke this paperwork task down into little chunks - at the moment it sounds like you need a clear couple of hours to sort the whole thing and you can't find that much time at once. Could you try just doing a little bit at a time, say 10 minutes a day while your DD is watching TV/in bed? Just go and start sorting them into piles, and then stop when your ten minutes is up. At least that way, once you've done even a tiny bit, it might seem more manageable and stop the panic. And you might find that actually it takes a lot less time than you were expecting.

Just looked on gumtree and contacted a local cleaner, £7.50 and hour. I think 2 hours a week should be enough to help me out a LOT.

Then i can spend the time i need to get other things done, ( like paperwork etc)

Cleaner is coming round for a visit tomorrow. Decided to go with an agency as theu are insured and i feel better about it.
Going to have 3 horus every other week.

She will start next week

I feel fab about it. The time i was spending doing housework can now been spent on doing other stuff. If i get time to dust/change beds in between her visits great, if not, no biggie.

Probably only have her until DDs dad is back and having her regulary, so only 6 weeks or so.

Called mum to tell her. i was all excited. She said, ' well you were coping before, i dont see why your not now, but its your money i supose, just make sure she does a proper job unlike your last cleaner'

GGGRRRR, my last cleaner ( about 3 years ago) was fab, i only had her two hours a week. mum thought it was bad as there were occasional cobwebs, but ffs the woman only had 2 hours a week. If i had wanted her to be a housekeeper and do everything, it wold have cost a lot more.

ANyway, im pleased and feel a lot better

Good work! I'm glad you're feeling a bit more positive about everything now