Godparents/ Wills and family tantrums!

[MrsVidic]

DD is getting christened in March. DP and I have chosen our respective God Parents on the basis of reliegous and moral guidence/ close friendships/ how people have been there and helped us through the years.

Anyway one of my chosen God parents is my aunt (who has been a rock in my life and is one of my best friends). She is gay and confessed to me (long before I was pregnant how she longed to be a godparent to one of her siblings children but none of them deamed her suitable enough because she's gay and was an actress)

Anyway, when I told my mother and sister my chosen god parents they then said how they were suprised at myu choices and how there was no close family included. They then bought up the issue of who would get custody of my DD is me and my DP died

I explained me and DP had discussed this (with close friends who aggreed) and were going to make a will to that effect.

Well my sister and mother have both been off with me since - and insulted that they weren't either of the choices. They say they should have rights

AIBU to stand my ground and say if they don't like it then don't attend?

No YANBU

ignore them like you would an annoying child
I wouldn't even comment to them just carry on as normal

YANBU at all - you get to choose godparents and guardians. My mum was huffy that my brother (who at the time had seen DS once in 2.5 years) wasn't going to be nominated as a guardian 'but he loves children'

Surely your mum realises that godparents and guardians are completely separate?

Godparents are pretty irrelevant, lots of children don't have any, but guardians should, as you know, be appointed by will. Even then, if there was a dispute, someone could make an application for residence under the Children Act (assuming both parents have died).

You have to make the (difficult) decision as to who will be guardian, and that may change over time: our initial choice now have grown-up children, so we may change it to my brother who has young children (he had none and was single when ours were born).

As for godparents, why not have friends, the children already have a tie to their family, so why not use the christening to widen their circle of close friends and family?

So YANBU. But don't go down the 'don't come then' route. Very unlikely to improve the situation!

I think because my mums quite young (mid 50's) she assumes she's the natural choice.

Agree with those who say they are two separate things.

Sister and BiL are guardians, but not godparents ? they already play a big part in DC?s lives as they are aunt and uncle so godparents are close family friends. That way DCs have larger number of adults involved in their lives who they can turn to if necessary.