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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to be treated like an idiot just because I work in a shop!

143 replies

zisforzebra · 25/01/2010 16:11

I'm currently working in a shop. Before I started working there I had no idea just how rude people can be. Lots don't say please or thank you and some don't acknowledge me at all and practically throw the money at me. But the worst are the ones that treat me like I have no brain at all.

A woman came in today and said she wanted to learn to crochet and that she wasn't very good at knitting. She asked me if I could crochet and I said yes. Her response was a sneery "Well if you can do it, I'm sure I can". I wanted to say that I'm a bloody good knitter and not bad at crochet either and she should just bugger off with her judgements but I just smiled and sent her in the direction of a library for a book on crochet.

AIBU to be very pissed off?

OP posts:
sevenkeystomysoul · 25/01/2010 20:07

I work part-time in a shop. I am more qualified than any of my colleagues and the majority of the customers, but the job fits in well with my life and my DD at the moment and I'm grateful for it. I almost didn't get it because of my qualifications, and had to convince the manager I just wanted a part-time job and wasn't planning to become CEO of the company. YANBU because people are incredibly rude and condescending, and some are just plain evil or mad, but it's true that you do meet more of a cross-section of the public in retail than you would in an office job, for example. I always go out of my way to be polite and helpful, because a lot of the time that can shame people into being a bit more pleasant. If someone's particularly offensive I just up the polite and helpful bit, it drives them mad because at some point they realise I'm taking the piss, but there's nothing they can do about it. At the end of the day, just let it wash over you, it's not personal and it's them with the problem. I do get pissed off serving wankers customers who spend the entire transaction talking on their mobile phones, unbelievably rude and ignorant, but again, their problem. I just say 'thank you, have a lovely day' in a very loud voice as they leave the shop.

girlylala0807 · 25/01/2010 20:31

I love that.

"Im more qualified than any of my colleagues"

What are you qualified to do? Shop worker degree?

If someone has worked in a shop for 10 years they will be much better off that someone "qualified" because they know the job, the routine and have the experience. Reading this thread has pissed me off no end.

You think as your older than someone that means they dont deserve respect? You think that that because you have a degree your better than the people you work with?

As for teh op. YANBU. I have worked in retail for 17 years this year and will continue to do so.

Oh. And I graduate next year, but I deserve respect as a manager because I earned it. Nowt to do with degree!

purpleduck · 25/01/2010 20:42

Mine isn't quite the same, but awhile ago I was paying for a few bits in a sweetie shop, then decided to get a chocolate that was beside the til. I had already given my money, so I had to fish out a bit more for my impulse buy.
The woman behind the til counted out my money and, obviously being used to dealing with small children, said slowly in a very patient voice "you need 7 p". It made me laugh all day.

I was very polite

sevenkeystomysoul · 25/01/2010 21:03

Girlylala, is there such a thing as a shop worker degree? Must get me one of those. I won't disclose my qualifications here for fear of pissing you off further, but I wasn't claiming superiority, just pointing out that some people do assume you're stupid if you work in a shop, when the stupidity actually lies in that assumption. I'm less qualified for shop work than most of my colleagues, I suppose, because I don't have years of experience, but I do hold more academic qualifications and professional qualifications (relevant to my previous career), doesn't make me better, or give me the right to treat people like shit though, and, as I said, I'm grateful for my job.

MrsChemist · 25/01/2010 21:06

I used to work behind the bar at a Golf Club. You can't get much snootier than the clientèle there. Especially the female golfers. One was extremely rude to me because I made a little mistake (put lemon in her drink instead of lime, or something equally stupid) and me made me feel very small. She clearly thought I was some idiot peasant.

About a week later I went with my mother to dinner with some of her friends, and lo and behold! This woman was there. She didn't even recognise me as the bar staff that she had chewed out the week before. After the dinner she was very nice to me because she knew my parents weren't plebs.

You can tell a great deal about people by how they treat their perceived inferiors. Golf Club lady was a fucking nasty bitch and always will be in my eyes, even after she started being nice to me.

Worked in a normal pub after, and one thing I love about normal pub work is you can (generally) give as good as you get. If someone calls me a fucking bitch, I can tell them to fuck off and never come back. You can't do that in retail (have worked in retail as well, will never do so again).

tearinghairout · 25/01/2010 21:14

Well said girlylala

What's all this 'People don't know I've got a degree and are rude to me'? WTF?

Mermaidspam · 25/01/2010 21:29

I've never worked in retail but had plenty of people be rude to me at work (work with teenagers!)

Only problem is that it can work both ways and I have had countless shop assistants and shop managers be rude to me.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 25/01/2010 21:31

pleb?

Mongolia · 25/01/2010 21:33

Yes, I think the worst racist abuse I have received, as well as been looked down as an inferior person came... from retail staff.

MrsChemist · 25/01/2010 21:35

Her words, not mine.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 25/01/2010 21:35

fair enough

Mermaidspam · 25/01/2010 21:38

Agree 100% Mongolia.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 25/01/2010 21:39

oh god... I'd totally forgotten about this. Some of the worst abuse I've ever had was from other staff when I was a "til tart"

gah...

'Gregg' was a pervy horrible wanker. He commented on the size of my boobs/arse, my hair, clothes. Made me and my other female co-workers feel incredibly uncomfortable with his leering. We were 16 at the time.

So I got him sacked.

Twat.

zisforzebra · 25/01/2010 23:13

Thanks all. Usually I just let it wash over me (if they're especially rude I give them the smallest change I can get away with - passive aggressive I know) but that woman's whole attitude was obnoxious.

Norbert - your CD 'mix up' made me laugh!

OP posts:
tiredfeet · 25/01/2010 23:39

YANBU, not at all, I had a professional career but decided to change tack and I am currently working in retail while I study. I have been astonished at how rude people can be, many just dumping their goods on the counter and not even making eye contact or speaking at all.

I agree with the comments from people that all retail workers deserve respect, not just those with degrees, I think the reason having a degree gets mentioned is that obtaining one gives you the self belief to know that this treatment is not right. As a teenage saturday girl I more readily accepted the rudeness of customers than I do know, knowing I have a first class degree. That doesn't mean my degree makes me less worthy of the rudeness (as others have pointed out, I have colleagues who are far more knowledgeable about what my shop specialises in, but it has given me the confidence (sorely lacking, pre-degree and still shaky now) to despise the customers who talk to me like I am thick

... phew rant over!

my 'coping mechanism' is to make silent responses back in my head, of what I wish I could say out loud, I do worry that one day I will say something out loud by mistake !!

becklespeckle · 26/01/2010 00:14

YANBU!

The amount of times I have come in from work and wanted to start a thread like this...

I really hate the way people talk down to me and treat me as though I'm too stupid to do anything but work on a till. I am a bright and articulate person with many talents and skills, obviously my customers won't know this but that still doesn't excuse them being rude.

For me it is a job that fits in with my family and brings in some extra money, before children I had a much 'better' job which I loved but I love my children more and my shop job allows me to be at home for them.

The thing is, there are many shop workers like me and there are many who are studying but there are also many who do it because they enjoy it or it is the only job they can find - none of us deserve to be treated like we are lesser citizens.

becklespeckle · 26/01/2010 00:15

Oooh, and I totally agree with MadamDeathStare's post...

"It annoys me how condescending people can be about jobs. So what if someone is working in McDonalds? The hours might be what they need to fit in with their family, it might be an easy commute, there could be opportunities for career advancement.

There is no reason to write people off as stupid and ignorant purely based on the work they do. "

Spot on.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 26/01/2010 00:35

Most of you ABU - assuming that only people of limited intellect work the tils.

Very unfair. Til workers are patient saints. They take all the abuse thrown at them, without reprive.

misssurrey · 26/01/2010 08:49

girlylala, well said!

tiredfeet:
''I think the reason having a degree gets mentioned is that obtaining one gives you the self belief to know that this treatment is not right''.

I don't have a degree, and I certainly don't need one to know it isn't right! I work in retail, btw.

Most customers are truly lovely...but after years in retail I find you're generally treated as you treat others. People pick up on your hangups. I always smile, talk to them, always friendly and I always know my stuff and I actually look like I enjoy my job and want to be there...I often get customers apologising for bothering me and I always tell them that's why I'm there. You get the odd customer who's got out of bed on the wrong side, but we all get days like that. I just smile more and think of my bonus.

lucyellensmummyisnotmad · 26/01/2010 09:44

I used to be a receptionist in a vets - i was at how people treated me. Most of our clients however were lovely and im a bit of a mother hen so they all loved me of course But some of them, RUDE?? I would just grin and be really nice to them, im sure it drives them nuts but you can't sound off at someone who is being so annoyingly nice to you!!

Funny things that happened re this were:

There was one client used to come in on a sat morning (i only did sat mornings) he would come in, put his poncy cat food on the counter - pay, leave - not a word, not a smile nothing. You would be forgiven for thinking he was mute. Anyway, i was part time at the vets, full time PhD student. It was my first year - was at uni one day and who should i see walking in the corridor?? "oh, hello, what are you doing here he said - looking puzzled" me "my PhD!" "oh" said he - funny, after that he always found time to make conversation when he got his cat food!

After i finished my PhD and after i had DD2, i went back to work at the vets one afternoon per week. A woman, who knew me from there a long time, enquired after a worming product, i had only just returned and i wasn't familiar with it - so i collared the vet and asked him to explain it to her (and me of course). She then said to me and the vet "funny how your brain goes to mush after a baby" Thankfully my boss was pretty proud of me and he said well actually, my receptionist is more highly qualified than i am, she has come back to help us after her doctorate - the woman didn't know what to do with herself! Oh, how we laughed.

People just assume that if you are in a service type job that you are daft!

I think we are all guilty of assuming things - i tend to "see" - Mums and students on the checkout - but of coures, thats just my assumption.

lucyellensmummyisnotmad · 26/01/2010 09:48

i always thoguht you pretty much had to be degree qualified to work in john lewis?

thesecondcoming · 26/01/2010 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misssurrey · 26/01/2010 09:54

John Lewis only require a degree if you're on the graduate schemes. Apart from that it goes on personality and if you're a JL 'type' more than anything else.

gorionine · 26/01/2010 09:55

YANBU, when was waitressing I came across quite a few people who think that you are beneath them if you do a "serving" job.

But.. in proportion, I have met many more really wonderfull people.

lucyellensmummyisnotmad · 26/01/2010 10:04

JL definately has a "type" doesn't it - im not sure i'd fit in, im nore Matalan and TK Max

thesecondcoming (i do wonder about your name ) I don't think having a degree infers a higher intellect - i know a lot of fuckwits with degrees and PhDs. Its just sometimes, when people are treating you like an idiot you just think - ha, fuck you - i have a piece of paper that proves otherwise - its a self esteem thing. V personal - i have self esteem ishoos - so its quite important to me to remind myself of my qualifications, especially as i probably wont ever use them now. does that make sense?

I personally just could not work in a shop, i would go stark staring mad - i think you have to be a very calm and even tempered person. Also, i loathe shopping so to be actually tied inside a shop all day - God help me. but thats not a snobbery thing - i would quite happily roll my arms up and clean someones shitty toilet.

Also, turning it around - there are a certain breed of shop assistants, usually older, over made up ladies - who are completely up their own arses. I remember DP turning round and saying to one of them once when i was picking things up in a department store - "don't worry luv, she aint stealing anything" I am scruffy too, we had our bike leathers and crash helmets. They were in judgeyville heaven you could see it on their faces. So it actually works both ways.