to be annoyed that cleaner gave my house key to her friend?

[MumNWLondon]

I have had my cleaner for 6 years, and although she can be unreliable she is a very good efficient and good cleaner. Occasionally she had asked if her friend can come with so she can do the work in half the time, I have always said that was ok.

Over Christmas she went back to Poland and asked if her friend could come instead. I said that was ok only if I was actually in and she shouldn't give the friend my key.

Friend doesn't speak a work of english and after cleaning asked for £10 a hour I pay cleaner £9 and friend is much less efficient and I can't tell her what to do. Tried to tell friend after 4 hours it was enough but she didn't understand. I didn't have much choice put to pay her the £10.

Anyway cleaner texts me to say her father had died and she has gone back to Poland for a few days so can't come (fair enough) but can her friend come? I said ok but she needs to come before I leave for school run at 8.15am so I can let her in or after 8.45am. She didn't show so I did school run camback and then at 10am went out to do some shopping. When I came back at 11am and friend is there - cleaner gave her my key and alarm code!

Again she said she was there for 5 hours (normal cleaner would only do 4) and demanded £50.

So I am annoyed about cleaner giving her the key... also this morning when I went to get DS dressed I noticed that one of his shirts missing, also DH complaining one of his shirts missing too. Spend all day looking and can't find either. So now worried about friend stealing from me.

AIBU to be annoyed???

vixma, what you have to remember though that most cleaners will only do 1 or 2 hours at a job, then have to go elsewhere, maybe doing one other job per day - so in the long run you would be better off on teaching assist wages. Also, i daresay your job is far more rewarding

I think £9-£10 is the going rate for a good cleaner. Defo considered it myself

WWC, that is a fab post

Maybe OP, you should insist that her friend doesn't come to work with her anymore.

Is that the going rate up north, does anyone know?

i was a cleaner about 5 years ago i used to get £5 an hour (Scotland) i swore id never do it again but for £9 or £10 wheres me dusters?/

I know many cleaners that earn £10 per hour in London and surrounding areas.

I think this is a serious breach of trust, and to be on the safe side you really need to change your locks and alarm code now. Incidentally, I'm a cleaner, and in the South East, in the right area, I charge £11 an hour! I'm referenced, fully insured and give my new customers a copy of utility bills so they have some idea I am who I say I am. I wil just add that I provide materials and equipment and look after them really, really well for that price.

Thanks Washwithcare - I am not going to sack my cleaner right after her father suddenly died when she has been my cleaner for so long (actually more than 6 years now i have thought about it) - I have supported her as she had extracated herself from her abusive husband, and I would not want to sack her.

However it was a very bad error of judgement to hand my keys over... although I spoke to her daughter and she (cleaner) was in complete shock. I am going to tell her that I only want her to clean for me in future and not that friend or any other friends etc and make it clear I was annoyed by her giving over key.

re: the shirts, its a strange thing to take. However DS (age 3) only have 4 shirts and the other 3 are blue (and this one brown) and it really is not in his wardrobe although it was last week, and he really hasn't worn it (its for best). DH has loads of shirts... and is terrible at finding things although I have helped him look and we can't find although prepared to admit that she could have put it in wrong place and not actually taken it. I will mention it but not for another few weeks when I am sure they haven't turned up.

good grief no sob story legitimises stealing and passing your home key around

get shot of cleaner and her slippery pal.
change your locks
pronto

grow a spine or she will continue to royally take the piss

That sounds like the right decision.

I understand how stressful this stuff can be. There isn't anything more precious than your children, and no space more personal than your home - and as a working mum, you're forever having to trust someone else to look after both!

how many copies of your keys exist?how many know alarm code?

jolly good to be so empathic about berevement,but your cleaner passed your house key and alarm code to someone else

breach of trust
jeopardised your safety

she could have phoned or some one else to say sorry bereavement - not available.without passing your house key around

you are her employer not her Kleinian analyst,not your remit to embrace her personal life

As far as I know just cleaner and nanny who have keys. Cleaner didn't copy keys for her friend just lend her her keys.

I am amazed that everyone thinks I need to sack original cleaner because she made error of judgment day after her father suddenly died.

I know cleaner is in shock as spoke to her daughter.

My normal cleaner hasn't really taken the piss....

I also have a new nanny last week although I really trust her... she was DS's teacher last year at nursery and teaches nephew this year at same nursery in the mornings.

My cleaner was spotted wearing my underwear - driving my car. I didn't sack her. I applauded her audacity!

Good point Scottish Mummy - no doubt, her Dad died and she thought - great - I can use this as an excuse to give my dishonest friend the key. Then rather than rush to Poland to attend her father's funeral, together they obviously plotted a devious scheme to get the OP to buy an extra hour's cleaning and pay an additional £1 an hour.

They will no doubt meet later to split the £15 and the spoils from the 2 second hand shirts they have stolen...

I would not sack original cleaner but I would change the alarm code...

cleaner breached trust,no sob story sack her

Ahhh a new nanny too... (assuming it isn't a giant conspiracy, and they are all in cahoots to steal a toddler shirt - it won't be) DS's shirt is no doubt in a bag somewhere as emergency change outfit....

Don't sweat the petty stuff, and don't pet sweaty stuff.... great advice...

Could we make it into a movie... "The Wife, Her Cleaner and the Catimini Brown"... think it could be rather good

Goodness me, the cleaner gave the key to her friend so that she wouldn't let anyone down and so that the house could be cleaned. If she was untrustworthy then presumably there would have been previous problems in the past 6 years. Give the poor woman a break.

this is why agency is best.they always have alternative staff.no big drama declining someone

TBH, am just green with envy at keeping a cleaner for 6 years.. and her being a good one too...

Mine always start fine... but before long, clearly start spending increasingly longer surfing the net or reading my Country Living magazines...

When I was a wee young thing, and didn't understand the nature of the cleaner dymanic (i.e. if they clean ok, you are eternally grateful) I once sacked a hugely efficient cleaner, as I discovered her using my internet and deleting the history... oh what a mistake that was!!

I think it was on principle, and also the invasiton of privacy angle... But wouldnt' I swap a few principles for a cleaner bathroom now? Too right

would that be the friend who "demanded" extra money in excess of normal rate

a reliable worker would have got message to you.and allowed you to decide who cleaned your home

the bereavement is sad,but no excuse for your home key being passed round random unknown to you strangers

Yes def am going to change alarm code.

Changing locks more expensive .

But all those who say sack how many of you would be ok with employer sacking you after a mistake in the aftermath of a personal bereavement.

I did say it was ok for friend to come but said that she had to come when i was in.

i am [shocked] at the way some cleaners act i would never in a million years have thought about using computer giving key to someone else i never even looked in drawers or cupboards etc because i would hate someone doing that to me didnt even make myself a cup of tea(remember THAT thread)

Love her reading Country Living Mags!!

IYO what are the signs of a 'naughty' cleaner?

IMO they are moving things - like an ornament or putting a rug at a jaunty angle - to give the appearance of being busy.

The only cleaner I ever sacked was a young, pert law student, with a body to die for. She started coming in wearing hot pants and a bikini top. Well, it was a hot summer, but I had just given birth to ds1, and I just could not have her waving her arse in my husbands face every week.

The sign of a norty cleaner/nanny is one who leaves her porn in your bookshelf.

Error of judgement on your cleaner's part, certainly not a sacking offence (although she might want to sack her friend). It is the norm to pass cleaning jobs onto friends - well that's always been my experience. And I'd rather pay my cleaner direct - agencies fleece them and only pay them minimum wage