to Complain To DS's School and Consider Moving Him?

[midori1999]

I went to DS1's parent-teacher interviews last night. The way they were actually arranged was a joke, but that is an aside...

DS1 is 13 and will be starting study for GSCE's next year. (he is in year 10 here, but I think that is equivalent to year 9 in the rest of the UK, we are in Northern ireland) General consensus from his teachers is that he is intelligent and more than capable of the work, but seems easily distracted and lacks motivation. He did pass his exam to get into grammar schoo,, the highest mark possible, but because we arrived in NI late, and the grammar is over subscribed, he did not get a place)

DS weekly boards from Mon-Fri. They are supposed to have prep each day after school. However, it seems this is option and they do no have to go, and if they do go, they aren't prompted to do anything, just overseen. DS isn't always completing his homework on time, and when ia sked the teachers about this they sai d'oh, we know he'll do it eventually' and there are no consequences to not doing it on time.

It also seems there are no consequences to persistent talking in class, and when I asked the teacher if detention or similar would be given out, she was shocked at the suggestion.

So, it seems that basically DS can do whatever he likes at school with no consequences. I have never foun a motivation problem in his previous schools and I am quite strict at home, which eh respods well to. I wonder if the way the school operate is too flimsy for him.

AIBU or is this system of virtually no discipline normal at schools?

YANBU, I would expect a 13 year old, at the very least, to be actively encouraged to do the prep. Different matter if he was 16 but 13 is too immature to be left to own devices.

Btw, I have much younger children, so only pprojecting what I would think in few years iif I were you. I'm also thinking about the support my friend's son receives at his private school and she has no such concerns.

yanbu - wow my ds would love to go to a school like that
no i think that attitude would be a little too relaxed for my liking tbh , i think at 13+ children need a lot of encouragement etc

Christ on a bike.

actually i don't think it woudl bother me unless he ISN'T doing well at school

I would hope that as he gets older he will see that he needs to study and hopefully his friends will too

i don't think that how they work is a bad thing unless he is definitely suffering from it, do you see what I mean?

did they think there was a problem? and if so, did they suggest anything to overcome it?

Thanks. The problem is he isn't doing that well, or at least, isn't working to the best of his ability. I am not overly concerned about exam grades etc, but I do feel DS should put in the maximum amount of effort.

The evening was all bit useless tbh. They didn't really suggest anything to help, other than DS 'trying harder' and putting in more effort. Ithink becaus ehe finds he can do an acceptable lebvel of work (ish) without really trying, he is being lazy, if that makes sense?

Also, he insists he wants to be a stunt man, an done of his teachers has apparently told him you can go to sutnt man college so I suspect that is part of the reason for his lack of motivation.

Obviously we will chat to DS when he gets home tonight.

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