to wish that some other parents would teach their kids how to conduct themselves in other people's houses

[IvaNighSpare]

have to vent coz i'm going to scream otherwise.
I'm sure I'm getting the reputation as the local grumpy mummy but I'm not sure I care.
DD (8) has 4 of her friends round to play (unescorted) and so far these friends have:
-walked into my kitchen and attempted to help theselves from the fridge
-dismantled my solar lights in my garden
-wandered around man-handling the ornaments in the living room
-all piled to play in DD's bedroom leaving DD, herself, alone in the garden
-taken clothes from DD's wardrobe to use as dress up.

And then, when I've voiced my dissatisfaction, announced that they expect me to drive them home (although they only live less than 100 yards away and happily walked by themselves- we live in a very quiet, safe road)

I know girls are girls but I'd be horrified if I learnt that my DCs behaved like that in other people's homes (and, judging frim feedback, they don't)

aaaaarrrrggghhhhh!

Rant over, as you were.

I think if they are being that rude you have every right to be very very firm and tell them it's not on.

I'd tell them it's bad for the environment to drive such a short distance and walk them home. And never allow that many round again.

They don't know the boundaries in your home so you need to tell them.

oh I did that (hence the grumpy mummy monicker) I'm just a bit that they think it's ok to behave like this and wonder what the hell the parents are teaching them - or not...

I'm sure their parents don't let them behave badly when they're at home, and would be horrified to find they act like that at someone elses house.

It could be that when they get together they're more than the sum of their parts, and so behave very differently than if they were on their own.

I always wonder how DD1 (9) behaves when she's at other peoples houses, so far I've only had good reports, but were they being polite? Who knows. I've brought her up to be respectful and polite, but get her together with other girls of her own age and all this might go out of the window in favour of going along with the crowd.

I hate having other kids round as they are usually horrid. Noisy, making a huge mess, asking for food, one kid even started whaling the shit out of DD's wardrobe and chipped the paint in several places! (his mother was horrified though). I'm probably a grumpy mummy too.

shocked that you are bothered by this. whether or not it is rude or not is not the point. why don't you re-direct your dd's friendship choice to other more polite girls then ?
when boys come to my house (ds is 6). they play by my rules. don't care what theirs are at home. sometimes they get a bit excitable. or do something we don't do. doesn't bother me. i just say no, we don't do that. and look at ds. he knows what the rules are. our rules that is. no idea or care what anyone elses rules are.
the boys who come to my house are lovely and polite. sometimes a bit naughty or argumetative, or a bit boisterous, but nothing i can't manage. i think you are a bit intolerant.

and when i collect ds , and am told he did something minutely rude, i am horrified. and say so. is this not enough ?

I remember once having a friend's DD (then aged 7) to stay. She was running around like a lunatic whilst her mum lay on my sofa drinking wine.

She broke a clock - all the mum could say was 'I'll clear up the glass'

YANBU- this would majorly piss me off!

Agree with nannynoboobs- other people's children are vile, and I would never have more than one round at a time.

YANBU. Your mistake was having more than one round at a time, they turn into a pack otherwise!

YANBU. Quite a while ago, I had a friend around with her son, who is a year older than mine. Her son was awful - jumping on the sofa and armchair with shoes on (I'm too shy to ask people to take their shoes off as I just expect people to do it out of politeness). The mother didn't bat an eyelid. I could understand why when I saw the horrendous state of her own house.

It's important to tell them to behave in general and how friend's houses may even have different rules.

I wish I had thought of doing that the first time I took DD to play with a friend aged 3. She had always had the run of the house at my mums and sisters, all rooms and cupboards, nothing off limits and it didn't occur to me that she did or that it might be wrong.

So I was when she went into my friend's bedroom and unearthed a hidden toy meant for Christmas YANBU.

chillo you snob. didn't you have enough spine or bollocks to tell the child not to jump ?

A quick 'Oi, shoes off the furniture' usually works in these situations chillo, used on my own and visiting children.

YANBU, I hate supervising other peoples kids, if dd(3) has a friend round without the parents there dh has to be here as i just can't be doing with it at all. bad enough grappling with your own childs behaviour is effort enough without the stress of other peoples.

Don't invite more than 1 round at once again. dd will be allowed a few round eventually but only when they're old enough to sort themselves out (including food) and don't require any adult intervention re behaviour.

Never used to be a prob when I was a kid as we quite literally used to roam the fields.

I am a major grumpy mummy and you know what i don't give a s**t [grin

"oh I did that (hence the grumpy mummy monicker) I'm just a bit that they think it's ok to behave like this and wonder what the hell the parents are teaching them - or not... "

Well DDs friend can be a bit like this at our house until I pull her up for it, yet I know that she is not allowed to get away with this sort of behaviour at home, or when her parents are here (we are friends with them).

She is worse when there are several other kids round too e.g. for a party. I think it is showing off to the others that she is DDs "bezzie" and comes to our house alot.

So maybe it is pack behaviour as others have said. Individually you might find them easier to deal with

you were really foolish to let so many come at once - they eggeach other on.

But I think children often try out whatthe bounadry lines are in other peoples houses.

I have a friend who I love dearly but have to bite my lip really really hard when she tells me how beautifully her DC begaves and that others frequently tell her what an amazing, polite well mannered child she has. She is absoloutely sincere and absoloutely deluded

This child is rude and bossy and absoloutely dismantles DDs bedroom every time she comes over. And everytime I rell her off she sulks and then bursts into tears.
I now give her and handkerchief as soon as she starts....
It saves time.

So i try not to be too outraged about hpow other children behave. You only think you know how yours do

That's me, Oblomov. I am the world's poorest snob I will quite happily shout at a class of 30 rowdy 16 year olds but I wasn't confident enough to tell a child off in front of their mum at that time. I bloody would now though. That was two years ago nearly.

YANBU. I wouldn't have liked this either. When my DS is older, it will be 'my house, my rules' regardless of how they behave elsewhere. If they don't like it, they won't come in again.

YAdefNBU the funniest thing is we ALWAYS behaved much better in our feinds houses than at home, so imagine how they behave in their own homes!!! my friends mums would tell my mum how lovely it was havin such polite, well behaved children who listened and did as they were asked - mum used to just stand there as we were complete horrors at home!