To be worried about the possibility of an exchange student

[Patch66]

DD1 (aged 11) has come home from school today with a letter about having an exchange student. Somebody would visit us for 5 days in March this year and she would visit them next year.

She is very excited, mainly I think because they will be going out on all sorts of trips when the exchange students are here.

She is studying the language concerned for part of this year. It is a language I studied but was very poor at and only recall a few words.

I know I am a real wimp but I am pretty nervous at the thought of an unknown child, who may not speak much English in my home. It's not that I have a problem with the child it's a worry that I might not be able to communicate well, feed her the right food etc.

Am I being unreasonable? Does anyone have experience of this?

We had French exchange students for 2 years when I was at school ( I say exchange but I didn't get to go to france)
It was a fabulous experience for me and although my french was pretty basic, they could both speak very good english.
I'd go for a buffet style meal the first day and use the social time to ask about food preferences but remember that you would want your DD to experience some local dishes wherever she goes in exchange.
I think it will be lovely for your DD if you do it

I am sure the school will give you all sorts of information nearer the time.

I understand you may not be able to speak much of the visiting child's language, but 1) even an eleven year old will probably have good English and 2) I promise you that if you are smiley and kind, use gestures, sign language etc, that will go a long way to making the child feel comfortable.

I was an exchange student twice, at a slightly older age and despite language problems, I felt a lot happier in one home than the other just because of their kindness and the feeling there.

Hopefully your child will get on well with the visitor and all will be well. On the first day the child may be terrified (or not), but then you can just ask what food they like. Open the cupboard door and ask them to point, if necessary! Keep lots of bread handy just in case!!

Good luck, it could be great fun.

this seems like quite a young age for an exchange.
having said that, i travelled right across france, at the age of 15, with just one friend, and stayed with a family where no-one spoke english.

it was a good experience.

It will be fine. I went on a French exchange when I was 12. Neither of my exchange partner's parents spoke any English- not a word- and my French was pretty "pigeon". You get by with a lot of signing/ showing etc. and a lot of laughing as there will be misunderstandings or times one of you gets it completely wrong!

Food is pretty international these days and if she is French then French kids are generally a lot less fussy than English kids about food.

I did it at 13 and 3 other times after that all with the same family.

In my day the school used to match you as much as possible with your French penfriend. Before you got to the visit you were penpals so you knew about each other and hopefully they will do the same for your DD.

Neither of my parents spoke any French at all and my penpal's English wasn't great but we muddled through, you just have to keep a bit of a sense of humour about it all and keep smiling. Make sure you have decent french/English dictionary (or whatever language it is) or phrase book which helps if your knowledge lets you down.

We used to go for 2 weeks at a time which was a bit daunting but at least the advantage of 5 days is that feeding the other child would be easier. Try a roast, fish and chips or pizza and you can't go far wrong. You could also take her shopping which is a bit of an experience for her in itself and she can show you what she likes.

If your DD is anticipating lots of trips, it sounds like you won't even have to entertain her much which is good.

It was such a positive experience for me that it ended up with my parents doing an exchange with her parents through our town twinning committee and also we all went to my French friend's wedding and her family came to mine.

So YANBU to be a bit worried but don't let it put you off. Chances are it will be a really good experience for all of you.

I am a languages teacher and have organised loads of exchange trips in the past. (I also went on one to Germany for 2 weeks at the age of 13 and had an amazing time.) If the school organises the trip well, which I'm sure they will, your Dd and her partner will have a ball. In my experience the goodbyes at the end of a trip are always traumatic for all children and often the parents and teachers!
The children will hopefully have been matched well, according to age, interests and family situation. The teachers should have spent a long time on the matching. The next step will be to exchange letters, emails and perhaps a dvd. The school will organise a comprehensive timetable of activities and outings to places of interest. There will be some time in the lessons at the school, but this should only be a couple of small sessions. You will probably have some time with her a the weekend. Shopping trips, swimming, meals out are always great. She will want to buy typically British souvenirs for her family, so she will need some guidance with that. Remember that the main point of the trip is to learn the language. She must be encouraged with this and likewise your Dd must speak as much French(?) as possible. There may be some homesickness, especially if she phones home. This is normal and as long as you let her see that you are confident and enjoying having her, she will be fine.
Exchange visits are an invaluable experience for our future linguists! I am so happy to hear of a school which still supports them. Good luck and enjoy! x

It will be fine. I would suggest lots of pizza, very few people don't like pizza!

Forgot to say that on the food side of it, foreign exchange students always go mad for McDonalds. just keep the food simple.

Thanks for all your responses. We've gone for it and our German exchange aged 12yrs will be with us in exactly one month's time !!!

DD now has a photo, info and list of interests about her exchange. She seems nice so far. Not much to go on though.